Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This woman contacted us to advertise a Valentines Day gift idea. I gave her a call and she gave me a long winded story about how her husband is sick and that she needs money to eat.

They were really poor, because her husband hadn’t worked in so long and she was desperate. I asked her about her Valentine’s Day gift idea and she told me that she found a rock shaped like a heart on her property.

She was convinced that it would make an amazing gift for the right person. I told her that my readers wouldn’t buy a rock, and that she should consider putting it on Ebay. She refused because she didn’t want the rock to leave American soil. The thought of immigrants buying her rock disgusted her. Needless to say I am an asshole who lacks empathy and I find humor in poor people and stupid people so I asked her to send me a picture and description of the rock and when she told me she could only mail me an hard copy I convinced her to get it scanned.

I think that I made her sacrifice a meal to get this picture to me…and that is the reason Deb’s heart shaped rock is the Valentines Day Gift of the Year….

Rock and Details after the jump….

The Fieldstone is Gray and measures 3ft by 3 ft across.
With a thickness of approximately 5 inches. Starting bid
is $10.000 plus shipping. I will pay 1/2 the cost of S/H.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I guess the closest thing I have in common with Royalty is that when I was 8, I had a gym teacher who used to call me princess. He would also make me shower in front of him while he played with his nipples, it made me a little uncomfortable but helped me a lot 10 years later when I ended up in Prison for reasons I am not ready to discuss. The point of this post is that we have some topless pics of Princess Stephanie of Monaco, this post is not about my gym teacher

Topless Crotch Scratching Pics and Bio – After the Jump

Stephanie is the daughter of Prince Rainier of Monaco and his late wife Princess Grace (the former movie star Grace Kelly). Stephanie is the couple’s third and last child, after Caroline and Albert. Stephanie was a passenger in the 1982 auto crash which killed Princess Grace. (Rumors that Stephanie was actually behind the wheel seem to have been untrue.) After the crash, Stephanie developed a reputation as the headstrong enfant terrible of the Grimaldi family. Her romance with a bodyguard, Daniel Ducret, resulted in two children (Louis, b. 1992 and Pauline Grace, b. 1994) before their marriage in 1995. The marriage ended a year later after Ducret was spotted cavorting with a Belgian stripper. Stephanie had a third child, Camille, in 1998 but refused to name the father. Among her other colorful boyfriends was Franco Knie, an elephant trainer and the head of the Circus Knie, a Swiss troupe with whom Stephanie and her children travelled. In 2003 she married Adans Lopez Peres, an acrobat with the same Circus Knie

Via TaxiDriver

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Cameltoe….It happens to the best of us, it has probably even happened to your mother and your grandmother. How does that make you feel? I hope you don’t get off to those kinds of thoughts, cuz that would make me feel uncomfortable taking part in your twisted little fantasies…..Paris Hilton, a girl with a vagina we have all seen, has cameltoe and the picture is after the jump.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Valderrama is out of control, after dating every it girl in Holywood he’s lowered his standards. I remember when I lowered my standards for about 2 months. It was really hard explaining why the family goat got syphlis….how does the expression go, Don’t shit where you eat… well I learnt not to fuck the family’s milk supply…..

Ashlee Seeing Lindsay Lohan’s Ex Wilmer Valderrama

*TV STAR WILMER VALDERRAMA (FROM “THAT ’70s SHOW”) HAS DATED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD, EVERYBODY FROM JESSICA ALBA TO LINDSAY LOHAN — BUT NOW HE’S TAKEN A STEP DOWN IN CLASS, HE’S SECRETLY BEEN SEEING ASHLEE SIMPSON.
THEY’VE TRIED TO STAY OUT OF SIGHT, GOING TO LOW-KEY PLACES LIKE “STUDIO YOGURT” IN SHERMAN OAKS — FINALLY, LAST WEEKEND, THEY WENT PUBLIC — THEY WERE DANCING AT THE TRENDY CLUB “AVALON” — A FRIEND OF ASHLEE’S SAYS “SHE’S REALLY INTO HIM, BUT HE’S NOT READY FOR ANOTHER SERIOUS ROMANCE, ESPECIALLY WITH SUCH A YOUNG GIRL. THEY’RE DEFINITELY DATING, THOUGH”
ANOTHER FRIEND OF ASHLEE’S SAYS “SHE’S CRAZY ABOUT WILL, AND SHE CAN’T WAIT TO TELL THE WORLD. BUT FOR THE TIME BEING, SHE’S ONLY TELLING HER CLOSEST FRIENDS” — A SOURCE CLOSE TO WILMER SAYS “WHEN HE WAS DATING JESSICA [ALBA], OR LINDSAY, OR MANDY MOORE, HE WAS ALWAYS TAKING THEM OUT AND SHOWING THEM OFF. BUT WITH ASHLEE, IT’S LIKE HE’S TRYING TO HIDE. DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS”…

Source: Staff: Mark Shipper with Forrest Nelson
Premiere Radio Networks, 15260 Ventura Blvd, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

If you are one of the five screaming girls that are fans of Lindsay’s music then today is your lucky day. Brought to you first from the “The Home of Lohan” is her latest music video for her song “over.”

Video Here

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

The Jewish fact of the Day:

Keeping a kosher kitchen

“Based on the verse “You must not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk” (Exodus 23:19 et al), Jews who keep kosher kitchens do not eat meat and dairy foods together. Separate sets of crockery, cutlery and cooking utensils are used, and in an orthodox home these will be cleaned in separate sinks and kept in separate cupboards. Often to help they will be different colours. After eating meat strict Jews will wait several hours before eating dairy products.”

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

If I wasn’t impotent and if I could have kids, I would never give them stupid names like “Rain, Sunshine or Love”. If I was a celebrity, I would never leave my house without make-up. Jennifer human is a victim of both of these things that I wouldn’t have anything to do with…however, if I was Jennifer Love Hewitt, I would be excited about Valentines Day too. With a name like Love, you have an insane amount of responsibility to show the love on the holiest of holy days of love.

Today is Valentine’s Day, tell your wife, girlfriend, mother, girl you are stalking or your hand that you love them. Because you don’t have a choice.

Happy Fucking valentine’s Day, More Love Hewitt Pics after the Jump.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I tell you what I want – what I really, really want, I want a stripper turned pop star naked on the beach. Yes, I have seen her erotic pics from when she was working back alley strip clubs back in the UK, but now that she has money, her taste is a little more expensive, and her tits are a little smaller, she is still the same UK Stripping slut to me.

So after the jump- you will find a Geri Halliwell topless on the beach….

Via TaxiDriverMovie

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I believe in a thing called love, I may never find it,I like to think I have, but let’s not bullshit here….my fat wife makes a great Poutine but she’s no Minxy Winxy.

I like to think that everyone needs that special someone to ground them, to give them balance, and to be their worst and best critic, most importantly their best friend and partner in crime. Finding this person isn’t easy, so on day’s like today, I can understand why you may get down and depressed and shit, especially if all your friends are going out on dates, while you are going home to jerk off to internet porn, and hopefully bust hard and good.

For those of you with girls you don’t like or no girl at all – you best click “the jump”

more goods at FUCK VALENTINE’S DAY via DoubleViking

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I remember a time when I made a bet with someone I know about having sex with Christina Aguilera before she turned 30. Looks like I am one step closer to losing this bet, but you know how marriage works in the world of celebrity…so I am still in the game. I don’t really know if I still want to do her, because this bet was made when she was a genie in the bottle…before she started looking like a porn star all breast implanted and shit…but you know – a bet is a bet….

Engagement Story and Pics After the Jump

Valentine’s Day came early for Christina Aguilera. The sexy pop singer became engaged Friday night to her longtime boyfriend, music executive Jordan Bratman, her rep confirmed to PEOPLE.

Aguilera, 23, and Bratman, 26, were on vacation when he popped the question. The two have been dating for more than two years.

Bratman presented Aguilera with a diamond ring designed by London-based jeweler Stephen Webster.

via People

In Blue Stockings…

Leaving the Gym….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Every person has one special day…Their birthday. Thnaks to our newest feature you can find out the top 5 people who were born on this day. Check out the list and see who was born on Feb 14.

#5) Israel Zangwill: (02/14/1864 – 08/01/1926)English writer
Quote: “The way Bernard Shaw believes in himself is very refreshing in these atheistic days when so many people believe in no God at all.

#4) Ice T: (02/14/1960 – )US rapper/actor
Quote: “I’ve got a phone, answer machine, TV set, computer, hand grenade—everything you need to run a business in Los Angeles.”

#3) Jack Benny (02/14/1894 – 12/27/1974)comic
Quote: “A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.”

#2) Teller (02/14/1948 – ) magician,
Quote: “I think movies about Jesus are boring no matter who he sleeps with.”

#1) Meg Tilly (Jen’s sister) 02/14/1960 – ) actor, accosted by a reporter
Quote: “I have nothing intelligent to say.”

Meg’s bio and Naked pics and look-Alikes pics after the Jump

Mr. Skin Bio:

The older and less-exposed sister of screen burner Jennifer, Meg Tilly hit the skindar in a little baby-boomer extended music video called The Big Chill (1983). Marvelously malleable Meg (a former dancer) starred as the yoga-addicted nymph who does seven sides of splits while dressed in form-fitting tights that leave only the rosy pinkness of her epidermis to the imagination. The viewing public was poised to see more. More was shown in The Girl in a Swing (1989). Meg swings her girl stack in a make-out scene and a splashing water frolic. How long must we wait until we see more Meg?
Skinfo: Revenge of the daughters? Meg’s parents didn’t allow her to watch TV, and they weren’t movie fans.
Quote: “A lot of times when women are appearing to be so perfect, it’s because they’re a mess underneath.” Go ahead, reveal what’s underneath; let us be the judge of what’s a mess.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

The Drunken Stepfathers animal of the day continues with another riveting insallment. Today we examine the American Alligator, a bold and savage beast. We are still going through our fan mail from our last animal of the day the African Elephant so go easy on us.

The blunt-snouted alligator is grouped together with the caimen species into the family Alligatordae. Alligators can be distinguished from crocodiles by the fourth mandibular tooth which fits into the upper jaw and cannot be seen when the jaw is closed. In crocodiles, this tooth is visible at all times. The biggest danger to alligators is the human race.

More info and pictures after the Jump

Niche / Habitat

The American Alligator’s niche is to eat animals that come close to its dwelling. It keeps the animal population down around the swampy areas. This animal is not a nocturnal animal. It comes out in the day and sleeps most of the night.

Adaptations

Some of the adaptations of the alligator are its back webbed feet for steering and bulging eyes which make it look like a log. American alligators have very dark and camouflaged skin. They also have very sharp teeth for ripping off flesh and eating prey. Nostrils on top of their long noses help them to breathe on top of the water.