Ellen Degeneres Chronic Dog Returner
Source: yeeeah.com
It appears that daytime talk show host Ellen Degeneres has a long-standing history of adopting puppies and then giving them away. According to Page Six
Kerri Randles says she gave DeGeneres a male mutt named Stormy two years ago, only to find out less than two months later that fickle Ellen had re-gifted him to a member of her staff.”She may have had it for much less time than that. I only say two months because that’s when I called to check on the dog and found out she no longer had it,” Randles said. “I was totally shocked. I thought she was out of her mind.” DeGeneres may have passed along several other dogs over the years. Howard Stern said on his Sirius show that he’d heard she had done this nine times before.
But wait — there’s more!
Randles said DeGeneres seemed a perfect pet owner at first, but she quickly discovered the daytime TV hostess was “neurotic and crazy.” When Randles took Stormy to NBC studios to meet DeGeneres, she was “drilled” for four hours by the star, her assistants and the crew. DeGeneres finally decided to keep the dog for a few nights to see if he’d fit into her home. She suggested that Randles take the dressing room next door to “tell the dog privately that she’d be going home with Ellen.” “I told her I’d already had a talk with the dog. She didn’t get my jokes,” said Randles.
The dog didn’t get her jokes, or Ellen? Because, obviously, everyone knows dogs only like knock-knock jokes. Irony and sarcasm really aren’t their thing. Just like how lesbians only like wiener jokes and Asians only like jokes where you lisp and make the buck-teeth face. One thing they can all agree on? Leaving a big dump in the middle of the floor is freakin’ hysterical. I find lowest common denominator is pretty much the key to all successful comedy. Whoopie cushions and pies in the face are good, too, but I’m not really a prop comic per se. I’m more of a comedic purist. I’ll do my own farts, thank you very much! It’s kind of an integrity thing.
Here’s Ellen and Portia on the way to Merv Griffin’s funeral last month:
