Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Britney Spears was in Las Vegas Labor Day weekend to help launch club LAX.

Spears was hanging out with her rumored love interest, Criss Angel. The couple were seen all over Sin City even hitting McDonald’s after partying at LAX. They still insist they are not a couple but onlookers say they were getting pretty hot and heavy while cutting a rug on the dance floor.

Britney had what appeared to be a large diamond ring on her wedding finger. A lot of people are speculating that she may be engaged, but I doubt it’s true. She’ll do anything for attention.

Other celebrities to show up to the LAX grand opening were Nicky Hilton (who looked amazing), Dave Navarro and Nicole Bennett, Wilmer Valderrama, Brody Jenner, DJ AM, boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr., Josh Henderson and plastic surgery nightmare Carrot Top.

*Licensed photos provided to Celebrity Smack by © Chris Hatcher/ PR Photos*

Source: yeeeah.com

I find it astounding that someone as unattractive and fucking lame (have you seen his MTV show?) as Wilmer Valderrama ever dated the lovely Mandy Moore. Despite publicly announcing that he had deflowered her on the Howard Stern show earlier this year, Mandy was seen dining with the-actor-forever-known-as-Fez just this week. Page Six reveals:

… [Moore and Valderrrama] were spotted having a cozy dinner with her parents at Stanton Social. They left separately so the paparazzi waiting outside wouldn’t snap them together. We are assured the pair are just friends.

I just don’t get it. Yeah, let me stop you right there — everyone’s heard tell of Fez’ giant wang. So fucking what? Your giant weiner better speak four languages and make a killer creme brulee if it’s attached to someone as ugly as this. Something about Fez kind of reminds me of the witch from Bugs Bunny. I can’t quite put my finger on it. And I definitely wouldn’t put my vagina on it. Mandy Moore can keep all that horrible “brown hornet” for herself.

More pics of the lovely Mandy at the Cartier opening in Short Hills after the jump.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Let’s ease into the holiday, shall we? To kill your appetite before tomorrow’s gorgefest gets underway, Hollywood Rag presents The Superficial Friends. In this week’s episode: See Paris, Nicole, Lindsay, and the Olsen twins battle Wilmer Valderrama’s mutant crotch cooties! Watch Nicole filling the tank of the bulimia-powered Brittle Bonemobile! (Not completely timely, since we know now that Paris could fuel up a Barfmobile unassisted). The cartoon is fairly safe for work, as long as your workplace doesn’t have some draconian anti-grossness policy. Enjoy.

See also Wilmer Valderrama v. James Blunt

Source: yeeeah.com

Wilmer: Jessica, you have to have sex with me because you’re Hispanic like me. That’s the law.
Jessica: Oh, I don’t want to break the law.
Wilmer: Then let me introduce you to my Latin love rocket.

More pics after the jump.

Jessica: Sorry Cash, but I have to have sex with Fez. I don’t want to go to jail.

Source: yeeeah.com

Are Scarlett Johansson and Wilmer Valderrama an item? The former sitcom star had already been seen cavorting in the Hamptons with the 21-year-old actress at his side earlier this month and now they’ve been spotted downing kamikaze shots with P. Diddy at Marquee until 4:30 a.m. Scarlett is still officially linked with Josh Hartnett, and she recently said she’s very happy in her current relationship.

If Scarlett was really happy in her relationship, she wouldn’t spend most of her free time partying with a man who had sex with every major starlet in Hollywood. I’m sure she already took a rollercoaster ride on his 8-inch Latin love rocket.

Source: yeeeah.com

Serial fucker Wilmer Valderrama probably had more fun than anyone over the July Fourth weekend, according to Page Six.

The Latino heartthrob arrived in East Hampton in a helicopter chartered by Stereo nightclub co-owner Barry Mullineaux and was greeted at the club’s summer house by 10 models lounging by the pool, plus Scarlett Johansson, who arrived with two gorgeous girlfriends, and Michelle Rodriguez, who was drinking only water after going to jail on drunken driving charges. Rodriguez – who doesn’t make a move without consulting her new Svengali, designer Anand Jon – played nurse to Skanda, the baby tiger being used to promote conservation, and took the cat for moonlit swims in the pool. Scarlett kept her Chihuahua locked up all weekend fearing it could become cat food. Valderrama, while not flirting with all the pretty young things, barbecued for them.

Wilmer just barbecued for all these girls because he doesn’t have to flirt with them anymore. I mean, he already had sex with all of them. Yeah, even the Chihuahua and the baby tiger already tasted his 8-inch Latin love rocket. Wilmer’s penis owns Hollywood. It needs some rest.

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Source: yeeeah.com

Life before “That ’70s Show” wasn’t always easy for Wilmer Valderrama and his 8-inch Latin love rocket. Before having sex with basically every starlet in Hollywood, including Lindsay Lohan and Mandy Moore, the actor developed his skills in a farm. He tells Maxim:

“When I was 10 years old, we’d pick out a cow and boom! They’d hit it in the head with a hammer, lift it up by the back legs, and skin it in front of us. Then I’d take the head home and make soup”

Then he used to have sex with Kelly, Dolly, Pamela and every other goat out there. It should be noted that Dolly was a virgin.

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Source: yeeeah.com

Mandy Moore has hit back at actor Wilmer Valderrama, who claimed on Howard Stern’s radio show he took her virginity, in addition to having sex with every major starlet in Hollywood. Moore blasted the actor, who has no prospects on the horizon right now other than to play Ponch in a movie remake of the TV series CHiPS. She says:

“I am so saddened that people stretch as far as they do in attempting to spread gossip that, at the end of the day, is just downright hurtful. I know rumors and falsities will continue to exist and its the world we live in…but c’mon people.. If you’re gonna spread trash and gossip, there should be a line drawn on issues that you just don’t go near! Regardless, I’m not going to respond anymore publicly than here on my own website as it would probably make the originators of this ridiculousness happy and fuel their little fire.”

Moore is not the first celebrity to come out about Valderrama’s claims. Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt called Wilmer a liar. But it seems their memory is short. Here’s what Moore told Newsweek on April 24th:

“He was my first boyfriend. I started quite the trend, didn’t I? Ladies love them some Wilmer. He’s a good guy. I actually still keep in touch with him. I think people make him out to be this crazy ladies’ man, but he’s such a gentleman. My parents loved him.”

So who’s lying now? I bet all those starlets tasted some of Wilmer’s Mexican seafood.

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Source: yeeeah.com

Some years ago, Wilmer Valderrama came to Hollywood on a mission: to have sex with as many female celebrities his penis could afford to. And he just did it. Yesterday, he spilled all regarding his Hollywood conquests during an interview with Howard Stern that aired on Sirius Satellite Network:

Among his revelations were that Lindsay Lohan was one of the best girls he’s ever had slept with, Ashlee Simpson was loud in bed and he rated Jennifer Love Hewitt an “eight” out of ten when it came to sex. The actor talked about his sexual prowess in detail, claiming that he has been with two women at once and also engaged in anal sex with a famous actress, who he refused to name. The star discussed dating singer/actress Mandy Moore, whom he met when she guest starred on his hit show, saying they were each other’s “first loves”. Valderrama claims he is “blessed” when it comes to penis size, clocking in at “slightly bigger” than eight inches (20 centimetres). He also revealed that he has videotaped his sexual escapades on numerous occasions, but erased the tapes to keep them from being linked on the internet.

Some will say he’s a man whore, but he’s just doing what any pirate would do in his position: drink, fuck and forget.

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