Source: www.yeeeah.com

It’s a day ending in “y,” so by my calculations, it’s time for Sienna Miller to show us her snatch/tits again! And in case you missed her boobs the first time she pulled her bikini top down (photo left), then check out the tit-tastic view when she pulls her top up (photo right). And then down again (thumbnail 4)! And now back up again (thumbnail 2)! And then check out the view when she circles them with magic marker and puts flashing police lights on either side of them and has a little midget in a rhinestone jumpsuit scream “SIENNA MILLER TITTIES” out of a megaphone while blasting an airhorn and throwing confetti! I’m not one hundred percent sure here, but I think she might want us to check out her boobies. Of course, that’s just an educated guess. Don’t quote me on that.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I know that I pick up Complex for the articles (about me) but it turns out they’ve gone out and done a photoshoot with Olivia Munn so maybe you should pick it up for the pictures.

This is an ego post because I was mentioned on Olivia Munn’s show “Attack of the Show” and I was mentioned in Complex Magazine as the one of the Men of Next Year . Now neither have made me any fucking money or landed me more traffic but I figured that Olivia Munn are being brought together by destiny.

The funny thing about destiny is that it doesn’t exist, it is just a good tool to trick girls into thinking you are a romantic and they’ll either accept a date with you or call the police and issue a restraining order. The good news is that girls are romantics so they usually accept the date after you claim that you are connected at the soul and were lovers in a past life and tell her how good it is so good to finally come together again, even though that shit would creep me the fuck out if the tables were turned….

So once you are in the same room as a bitch you need to get her pregnant by association. That means throwing cum at her and hoping some of it sticks in the right places, because she may not have all that much of a career but she’s richer than me and despite the homeless fecal artist down the street being richer than me at least Olivia Munn has a house and hotter body and I am superficial like that. Plus moving into the homeless fecal artist’s home under the overpass wouldn’t be so good in the winter and her always smells like shit…

So Olivia Munn, If you’re out there….We are connected at the soul. Let’s do lunch and rekindle our love. So Much has happened since I saw you 4 lives ago….but give me a couple week’s notice because i need to start milking myself like the lactating woman, otherwise my plan to K-Fed you will never work….since I’m kinda impotent

Check Out The Olivia Munn Interview and Pictures at Complex
GO

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Keeley Hazell is some naturally big breasted 21 year old who has made a living doing lame photoshoots because people want to fuck her. She is also the star of her very own sex tape that was leaked in January of last year where you could watch people actually fuck her.

These pictures of Keeley are from a photoshoot she did promoting Lynx bodyspray, which is an affordable way to shower when you don’t have a home with a bathroom because it is a lot less expensive than getting a place with a bathroom. I guess it’s also a good way for people to whore shower themselves on days they just don’t feel like washing, which is every day for me, but that’s just because I am a lazy slob and feel comfortable in my own stink…and if I was so inclined to whore shower myself, I’d just walk to the drug store and spray myself with actual designer cologne pretending I was trying to decide between the Burberry and the Jean Paul Gauthier before leaving empty handed but smelling glorious and luxurious like I was a designer human…..or some shit….

Speaking of shit, Keely’s bikini is brown, I wonder what kind of stains her drippy ass is covering up. Yeah, I probably should have left that last line out, it was pretty fucking weak, but so am I…hold me.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I bet at least one of you has been sitting in your sweat covered folding chair in front of your computer in your messy basement amongst cut outs of random pictures of girls in bikinis and cum covered kleenex and t-shirts sprawled around your room waiting for day two of Coleen McLoughlin pictures to hit because you are creepy and have nothing better to do and she’s your fucking favorite.

I know that I definitely wasn’t that guy, but that’s just because I’ve never heard of this bitch and I can’t afford folding chairs or Kleenex, I’m more into using junk mail flyers for all my personal hygiene needs if I am not too lazy.

Either way, here are day two bikini pictures of this bitch and it turns out that I answer dreams, even if it’s just for one dude who no one talks to because he smells. That makes me feel like a modern day Princess Diana amongst Aids babies or some shit….only I’m not dead….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This is Eva Longoria in some kind of blast from the past ad campaign for Bebe. I am pretty sure they are recent and not pictures that launched her career a decade ago but they remind me of posters I used to decorate my ratty ass apartment with in the early 90s when everyone went to the music store as a daily activity to check out CDs and they all had racks of cheesy as fuck posters that everyone would buy because the babe ones were always on sale for 99 cents and that was the kind of decor I could afford…..

I am talking about bitches in g-strings shot from behind with naval hats on with the caption saying “Rear admiral” or the one with the hot chick in the red bikini sprawled on an exotic car that had the caption saying “Drive” and then there was another one of chick in tight racing leather riding a racing motorcycle and it said something like “Riding Into the Sunset” or even the classic Justification for Higher Education that I used to inspire me while drinking everyday while sitting on the floor drinking when I should have been getting an education….

Either way, these cheesy as fuck ads are expected from a cheesy as fuck celebrity who is nothing more than a soap opera star who is lucky enough to go to the night time Emmy Awards instead of the less prestigious Daytime Emmy Awards…because of good management and a lack of Mexican actresses to choose from…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This is a UK singer named Natasha Bedingfield swimming with Dolphins for some Bahamas resort called Atlantis that you’ve probably already heard of and who probably won’t be giving me a free trip for shouting them out on the site, because no one reads this site, but if they did, they’d probably hate it as much as me.

I guess the whole point of hiring this Natasha Bedingfield bitch to take pictures with their Dolphins was in hopes of increasing UK travelers to their resort even though people from the UK don’t know how to swim are pasty as fuck because they are scared of the sun and the only thing they are good at is griping while drinking pints and eating sausage, but who I am to tell some resort that they’d be better off hiring someone a little more local for their marketing campaign and that there money would be better spent elsewhere and that maybe they should lay off the beastiality because this bitch kissing a dolphin only makes me wonder how far they got after the cameras turned off….It’s like Atlantis Resort’s very own 2 Girls 1 Cup….only instead of it being 2 girls, some shit and puke, it’s just one famous girl with a big dolphin dick cumming in her mouth after taking her up the ass…..

The funny thing is that these pictures have the same impact on me as the time I walked in on a chick jerking off her dog and eating his cum, now that may sound sicker than it is, because it was and the story goes like this. This little fuckin’ lap dog was humping the shit out of this hot girl’s her hand in a coffee shop for about a minute before she pulled up a hand full of dog cum and licked it to make her friends laugh. I thought about going up to her and asking her to do it again so that I could make it my marketing program for the site, but I was too busy gagging and not the kind of gagging you get off to…pervert.

BONUS – Some Pictures of Her in a Bikini Top Because Bikini Tops are Better than Wet Suits…Unfortunately There’s No Beastiality in These Pics….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I hate Victoria Silvstedt and it’s not because she’s Swedish. That’s probably the one thing I actually like about her and it’s not because Swedes are known to being blond and big breasted, but it is because they invented Ikea and as a poor man, I can appreciate a quality piece of furniture at a low price, even though I got all my shit on the side of the street on moving day and it all still smells like piss a decade later, but I blame my wife’s over-productive sweat glands for that and none of that means I don’t have taste except for maybe in women….

Either way, I hate this bitch because she is the only celebrity that as tried to sue me since I started this shit and she’s not even a real fucking celebrity. Most of the other sites I talk to have given up on posting her shit because she’s a fucking vulture and doesn’t like that we laugh at her for only being famous for her tits and she’s not even that famous with those doing the working for her….

If you’re wondering why I got sued, it’s because she was getting eaten out by a married greek midget shipping tycoon who may or may not be related to Stavros, and she didn’t like us laughing at them. So here’s to the memory of me thinking someone important cared enough about me to bring me down before realizing that if she sued me not a single media outlet would pick up the story, not even her local town paper because they are ashamed of her too and I wouldn’t have made it to Perez level who is rumored to have made 500,000 dollars last month alone and that’s probably enought o get me through at least 5 years living large by my standards. Make it happen people…..

So… These are her tits at a Baby Phat event during New York fashion week.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I remember a time when Heather Graham was showing off her huge bush in movies, now all she’s doing is showing off her huge tits in a stupid see-through shirt with a bra on in an outfit that reminds me of the flea market in 1992.

If you don’t understand that reference, you obviously didn’t work at the same flea market as me, where I was forced to help some asshole set-up his booth selling army surplus shit and I’d get paid 50 dollars a day. His booth was positioned between a crazy hippie bitch who sold those weird asian pictures of waterfalls that light up and the closest thing to the local sex shop at a time before sex shops.

This booth was designed for biker wives and truck driving wives and pretty much any bitch who looked like Christina Aguilera with her fake tits, fake hair and pounds of make-up. Most of them were either strippers who shouldn’t be strippers if they were in the city but since it was all they knew they were allowed to work and the ones who weren’t strippers just looked like they were.

Either way, they’d load up on the dumbest shit that I never found hot because of the girls who were wearing it. I’m talking spandex pants that looked like jeans and jeans that were so tight they’d have zippers down the seam around the ankle so the bitch could fit her feet through. They had cut off shorts and panty hose and the original g-string, they had american flag bikinis and bodysuit tops that snapped in the crotch so that they looked tight as fuck on their flappy chain smoking bodies. They had sheer, they had mesh, they had leather and they always had a fucking line-up like it was a motorcycle convention and they were in line to meet Ozzy Osborne or AC/DC whoever the fuck these trashy bitches get soft-ons for.

I guess it doesn’t really matter, what does is that Heather Graham is leaving some G-Star fashion show because G-Star is a second rate brand and Heather Graham is a second rate celebrity in some 1992 second rate stripper outfit and I still think it’s worth posting, but that’s just because she’s standing all crooked and that makes me think she’s drunk enough to stuff into my drunk and drive her home to meet my rubber vagina collection..not that I have a car, but you get what I am saying…..a little too well….and that’s why I am scared of you.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am pretty sure that these pictures aren’t new, but since staying on top of plus-sized models has never been my thing, since getting on top of plus sized wives is my thing and not really by choice. It’s pretty much the same thing as being fed the same shitty meal every fucking day for the last 5 years then finally convincing your wife to take you out to a buffet and seeing that one of the options is the same shitty meal you’ve been eating the last 5 years on the restaurant version and deciding to stay as far the fuck away from that as possible because you’ve exhausted that shit. I don’t know if that makes sense, but to make it make sense, I’ll put it like this….I don’t like seeing fat chicks naked or clothed because I live with one and don’t even wnt to see her naked and clothed. If there’s something wrong with that, you can blame my wife for being so disgusting and ruining fat chicks for me forever, because I obviously haven’t always hated fat chicks if I made the fucking beautiful life commitment that is marriage to a fat chick…..

Either way, this is Mia Tyler, she is Steven Tyler’s daughter who looks like she’s been stealing his food for the last 25 years explaining why he’s so skinny and she’s so fat…and now you can die knowing what her big tits look like and you can thank cake and emotional eating from growing up without a daddy who sent check from his concerts on the road but never sent hugs when that’s all she really wanted, for making all this possible.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Every virgin who already posted these pictures seems to think it’s amazing that Leonardo DiCaprio is slamming this bitch after years of slamming Gisele and I think that it’s really not that impressive. I may not be gay enough to determine whether dude is good looking, but every woman I’ve ever come across thinks he is and that doesn’t even touch on the fact that he is famous and has a boat load of money. So the reality is that I am surprised that dude’s slamming this bitch and not having orgies with bitches who look like Bar Rafaeli and who are more famous than this Israeli I’ve only heard of because of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Either way, the good news is that Bar Rafaeli hasn’t been suicide bombed by the arabs in her home country and is frolicking around in a bikini so you fools can just her imperfections to make the fat pig you’ve been banging a little easier to stomach, and by stomach I mean hiding your dick in her belly folds, it’s a sex move that was created with the national obesity rate going up. True story.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Kelly Rowland ends my morning Black History Month coverage that may or may not continue, depending on what the famous blacks get themselves into over the next month. I guess proven by these pictures, the famous blacks don’t need to be all that famous, they just have to be in bikinis because last time I checked my Destiny’s Child calendar, they broke up 3 years ago and I’ve been broken up on the inside ever since, but I still post one of them half naked.

I guess none of that really matters, what does matter is that you white fuckers don’t have a history month of your own. Losers. Sure you can argue that every day is White History Day, but I don’t see it on my Destiny’s Child Calendar, but it’s also 3 years old so maybe that’s why. Reality is that you white folk don’t have your own Entertainment Channel, either. But I don’t think the blacks are the real issue, they are harmless, unless you just bought a new bike, so let them learn about other blacks and how they magically appeared here from dancing around a fire and running from cheetah’s in Africa to pick white cotton in chains in the American south because the real threat is the Gays because they could be anyone well-dressed amongst us and one night after having one too many drinks they could even end up being you when you wake up and your dick is being sucked by one of your drunken buddies.

I don’t know what I am talking about, just look at the bikini pics…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Christina Milian is still alive and she’s dipping it low on the dance floor in New York for fashion week and she’s doing it in a pair of tight shiny pants that I can see my face in….but not because they are shiny but because I am a pervert and imagine living in every girl I see’s panties like it was some kind of warm magical place that smelled like an old fish shop I used to work at. Those were the best years of my life.

I don’t really know why I am posting these, but I can only assume it’s an excuse to post the old nipples pictures of her that I saw yesterday for the first time, because I am more into nipples than I am into tight pants, but that’s just because my mother never breast fed me.

BONUS – SOME OLD PICTURES OF HER BIG NIPPLES IN A SEE THROUGH TOP.