Source: www.yeeeah.com

Topless-dancer-turned-Hollywood-screenwriter Diablo Cody has inspired strippers nationwide with her big Oscar win Sunday night. According to Page Six

The topless talents at Rick’s Cabaret NY were so excited about Cody being up for Best Screenplay Sunday night, they stopped dancing and stayed glued to the big-screen TVs as the winner was announced. They burst into tears when they heard Cody’s name. “She proves that if you follow your dreams, anything can come true,” said a busty brunette. The girls even made a plaque that reads: “Dedicated to Diablo Cody, who has taken our calling to new levels.”

Then the manager clapped his hands together brusquely with a sharp “Hey, hey — ladies! These men aren’t going to dry-hump themselves for sixty bucks a pop! Stuff your dreams back in your g-strings and let’s see us some titties!” I’m sure it’s just a matter of time ’till they tear down Scores and erect a library in her honor.

P.S. Erect!

The Dr. Florence Sabin of our generation at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards Saturday:

Source: yeeeah.com

Surprise! It’s Britney Spears, looking like a used-up whore on the verge of a meltdown and a meth fix. For the 768th time this month. Our little media darling began shooting the video for her first single “Give Me More” in L.A. this past Wednesday, and News of the World had the following to say of the shoot:

Looking dead-eyed and disorientated, the pop babe lost it during the shambolic video shoot. At one point sad Britney… squatted in her torn fishnets, clutched her Yorkie puppy and stared vacantly into space. A source added: “She had a problem with the extras being about when she did the pole dance. She was shy or embarrassed or something and she really started struggling with the whole thing. You could see she was getting a bit wobbly but no one expected her to throw a complete fit. Suddenly she was in floods of tears and stormed off set. She eventually came back but was sobbing hysterically. All her make-up had run. By now it was nearly midnight and the director just called things to an end and sent people home. It was a total shambles. It was embarrassing.”

Well, at least she doesn’t look fat here. I mean, there’s that. Kinda like when the doctor told me, “At least it’s just the clap and genital warts, not HIV.” See, it’s all about perspective, people! My mom says I’ve always been a half-full kinda girl.

More of sad stripper Britney wrestling a pole after the jump

Pics by Alec Byrne courtesy of News of the World

Source: yeeeah.com

Josh Duhamel recently installed a stripper pole in his home. Feng shui be damned! According to Page Six

The hunk [has] just installed a stripper pole at home so live-in girlfriend Fergie can entertain him with a little bump and grind. “Fergie is taking lessons, but she won’t get on it until she knows what she’s doing, ’cause she doesn’t want to look stupid,” Duhamel tells next month’s Glamour.

Is it really a stripper pole, or just a giant metal bar he could wrench out of the ceiling in case he wakes up in the middle of the night with her standing over him? You’d want a big steel rod nearby with that she-beast lumbering around your house. Or at least a wooden cross or a pitchfork or a gun loaded with silver bullets. They say she never sleeps, you know.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So it turns out that Brooke Hogan got fake tits. I figured that was the next step for her and you can tell by the scar in the armpit and from the fact that her tits are bigger than they were before. I remember when this slut was just a small breasted fat chick with a dream and now she’s pretty much no better than the whores I dream about getting lap dances from in my local strip clubs. The reason I call them whores is because they let you grab their tits for money and if you don’t have money they really want nothing to do with you and that would piss me off if I was lookin for love, but I am not, so I can handle the fact that they walk off pissed off when I tell them I have no money after making them chat me up for an hour. It’s actually one of the only things I find joy in these days. Because if I was a stripper I wouldn’t be working the loser in the corner who has been nursing one beer for the last 5 hours while wearing joggin’ pants….but I guess strippers aren’t known to be geniuses at least not at the places I go to.

The one thing that drives me crazy about strippers these days is their stupid legwarmers. The only reason I am posting these pictures is because of her fucking stupid pants. I got issues with these things and I see them everywhere I go. I don’t find them hot, I don’t care that a bitch is walking around with her ass hanging out and her legs covered up, I like full nudity or half nudity, but not no nudity, just annoying glimpses at what could be, from behind of retarded pants that distract me from wanting to see her naked because I am too focused on wondering what the fuck bitch is wearing.

I don’t care that Brooke Hogan thinks being sexy is being a stripper, it’s a pretty general mentality. A lot of girls and strippers think being a stripper is sexy and they all take notes from each other, making all girls run the same tricks. I go to fucking strip clubs all the time so I guess I partially feel the same way, but I like to believe the real reason I go to strip clubs is to try to figure out what drove these whores into becoming whores. What kind of daddy issues, broken homes, poverty and addiction did they face to resort to making a lot more money than they would working the checkout counter at the supermarket an to see some naked chicks, but not to be seduced by stuidity.

Either way, Brooke Hogan has access to money, comes from a big house with big cars and a big father, but for some reason she’s following her whore mother’s footsteps and taking this shit to the stage, big fake titties and semi-nudity, the only problem is that cunt isn’t showing her cunt and that to me is a waste of a stripper or someone who is so obviously inspired by strippers but is too pussy to take it to the level needed making her nothing but a failure to me…at least SHE’S been consistent on her quest to the pole….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am fucking late on posting and didn’t do a stepLINKS yesterday, I blame vodka. I had to be somewhere at 7 pm and couldn’t get the links up, I got back home at 7 am wasted and couldn’t get anything up because I was spent. I heard the best way to cure a cold is with mass amounts of vodka because it kills the germs, I am too hung over to know whether I still have a cold or not but I do know that it was good fucking times.

I know the early bird catches the bird, but I was up at the crack of dawn, and it didn’t really bring any major opportunity my way. I am pretty much late on every story I am going to post today and I am starting with the Lohan stripping scene from some movie she is in where she plays a stripper…a part she was made for….

I don’t really know what to think about the videos because I was too fucking lazy to watch them. I go to the strip club at least 3 times a week and there was a time in my life that I went to the strip club 3 times a day. It was about 6 years ago and it was a solid way to spend my shitty paychecks. I was never really into the lap dances because grabbing tits for 10 dollars reminds me of the fifth grade….

Either way Lohan is slutting it out in a movie, playing a stripper and I just can’t be bothered watching her suck at it, or even turn my favorite pastime into some over glamorized Hollywood plastic piece of shit.

But since my responsibility is to bring the goods to you, that’s just what I am going to do….at least bitch is trained to hit the brass pole when her career comes crashing down, but I am pretty sure before hitting the local stages she’ll get into porn or have a drug overdose or someshit. I may not be able to predict the exact outcome, but I know bitch won’t have a lasting career making mainstream movies….1:45

To check out the official site GO

Source: www.derekhail.com

Ali Larter, now universally known from the hit TV Series, Heroes, has several personalities including: webcam stripper, a Hero with special abilities, a dark side called Jessica, and a good side called Niki. However, in an undisclosed late season twist, Ali Larter is currently learning how to become a stripper. Now, although we have no idea what the official word is on Ali Larter, I’m sure nobody cares.

There are countless people I have asked about Heroes, and the universal answer from every one of them is, “I change the channel when Ali Larter’s character comes on.” I personally hate both Niki and Jessica and don’t really give a damn about what her character is up to. To each is own. [source]

Source: www.derekhail.com

Brad Pitt, before he was famous, was the chauffeur / panty catcher of strippers who would regularly perform at various bachelor parties. During an interview conducted by Newsweek, Brad was asked what was his first, interesting job, and in response, according to MSNBC, he said, “I had a job driving strippers around.”

I’d pick them up, and at the gig I’d collect the money, play the bad Prince tapes and catch the girls’ clothes. It was not a wholesome atmosphere, and it got very depressing. After two months I went in to quit, and the guy said, “Listen, I’ve got this one last gig tonight.” So I did it, and this girl—I’d never met her before—was in an acting class taught by a man named Roy London [a famous acting coach]. I went and checked it out, and it really set me on the path to where I am now.

What an honor it must have been to be that guy who had to run around picking up clothing. Now, if we only knew who the stripper was, we would be set.

More Brad Pitt Gossip: 

Does Brad Pitt Pin-Hole Condoms?

Source: yeeeah.com

Here’s a couple of pictures of Lindsay Lohan leaving the set of her new movie “I Know Who Killed Me,” which, in case you didn’t know, is a biopic about a topless dancer. Yes. Now take a good look and tell me if you’d want to stuff a dollar into the g-string of someone as disgustingly unattractive as Lindsay here. There was this stripper down at Ken’s Gold Club who only charged half-price for a lapdance because she had a lazy eye and the DT’s, but she was still hotter than Lindsay. Even with the third nipple and inverted outer labia. Lindsay can’t even walk without falling down and breaking something every few weeks, so I’m sure she looks completely natural and effortless swinging around a fucking pole in platform heels. Worst. Casting. Ever.

More pasty Lohan after the jump.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Lindsay Lohan, in preparation of her new movie “I Know Who Killed Me,” has been taking lessons to learn how to dance on a stripper pole. However, after several bruises on her inner-thighs, she sent out a completely coherent email to her friends. According to Page Six, Lindsay wrote,

“They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark.

“I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the [c-word]s now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

Why would you call someone you have respect for a cunt? Is this a new term of endearment amongst late teens and early twenties women? All I know is, the last time I used the word cunt, I was smacked even though I desperately tried to explain myself. “Honey, I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about your sister.” Sarcasm off.

Side Note: We can be sure Lindsay doesn’t look this sexy

.

Source: yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan is preparing for her role as a topless dancer in the new movie “I Know Who Killed Me” by taking classes in the art of striptease. Page Six reports:

An e-mail [Lindsay] sent to pals last week has the subject title: “They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the [cunts] now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

Sure, sure. The inner thigh bruises are from the pole, not from somebody blindy attempting to punch you in the cooter. You know, in the hopes of scaring your horrible lippy baldness away from their penis. If I had a wiener, I can guarantee that’d be my response. Turning my head the other way while flailing my fist in your general “area.” On a less disgusting note, kudos on picking such an aptly titled movie. Some other good titles would be “I Dropped My Hair Dryer in the Tub While Bathing,” “Poison Hemlock and a Cyanide Chasher,” or maybe, “I Drove Off a Cliff and the Car Burst into Flames and Flipped Over Seventeen Times End to End and Landed on Its Roof and Then Got Hit By a Meteor Before a Fault Line Opened Up and Swallowed It Whole.” I could definitely cough up $7.50 to see that.

A few more pics of a “sober” Lindsay Lohan drinking “water” en route to Teddy’s Friday night after the jump.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Anna Nicole Smith, shortly after she buried her dead son, Daniel Smith, was issued a notice of eviction. The house where she was residing was bought by  G. Ben. Thompson for just under a million dollars as a favor to Anna so she had somewhere to live in the Bahamas. According to People,

Smith was then supposed to sign a mortgage to buy the house from him, he says, but she has refused to do so. “She said it was a gift,” Thompson tells PEOPLE. “I never said that. I don’t have that kind of money.”

Anna Nicole Smith expects handouts. Its much like she still thinks she is a stripper in Texas lapping for dollar bills, except shes asking for a million of them. However, she’s going to have to do a lot more than grind on G. Ben. for a free house. Obviously.