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Heidi Montag Miss Universe VIDEO!

Heidi Montag performs at the Miss Universe 2009 competition VIDEO

Heidi Montag, for reasons unknown, was asked to perform at the Miss Universe 2009 competition.

She lip-synched of course, because we all know what she sounds like when her voice hasn’t been put through the ringer. Her dancing was mediocre at best, and she seemed to be trying to mimic Britney Spears. A Britney you will never be, sweetheart.

I can’t believe that big ol’ stage hook didn’t come out and pull her off the stage. I am also shocked that the audience didn’t boo her. I’m sure they were told not to. Heh.

No, Heidi Montag is NOT a celebrity, get that horse-faced bitch outta here!

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I know, I know… Paris Hilton is a waste of my time, and The Kidd really shouldn’t even bother writing about anything that has to do with her. I couldn’t agree with you more. However, I just wanted to let you know who to blame and where to point the finger, when al-Qaeda tries to rally against America again.

Paris Hilton is a danger to our national security and must be stopped, or locked in Guantanamo… forever… without food, water, or panties (since she doesn’t need those under normal circumstances anyway). She is jeopardizing our safety and is responsible for the hatred many in the Arab world feel towards the West.

According to the Mirror:

TV producers had banned the airhead heiress from wearing a bikini while she is in Dubai shooting the third series of My New BFF.
But within hours she was posing for photos in a skimpy twopiece.
Brilliant. Our source says: “Paris had made a big public speech, saying how much she loved the Middle East and respected its culture. But the following day she was prancing around on the beach in her bikini and posing provocatively. Bosses warned her Western tourists have been jailed for flouting the rules.”

So, we are risking an international incident, because Paris Hilton wants to head around the world to shoot a reality show for MTV? She isn’t even respectful enough to roam around in the beekeeper’s suit. These people don’t hate us for our freedom. They hate us for Paris Hilton. And I don’t blame them… I hate us for Paris Hilton.

Hmmm… do you think they’d accept her as some kind of truce? I didn’t think they would either. I’m just throwing ideas out there. I am a humanitarian first and foremost. That’s why my first initial thought was to try trading a giant ball of herpes for world peace. I know it seems like a lowball offer, but it’s just a jumping-off point to get the ball rolling.

What’s that, Osama…? You’ll take Paris, but we have to throw in Speidi, too…? DEAL!!!

Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

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Al Roker spoke about the Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt (Speidi) interview and hit back at Heidi’s accusations that he “attacked” her.

This morning on the Today Show Roker defended himself and his aggressive interview with the infamous reality couple.

Meredith Vieirna asked Roker, “Are YOU proud?”

You see, Al had asked Heidi Montag the same thing yesterday. He had asked her if she was proud of her and Spencer’s actions while on the reality show, “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!”

Roker, as Montag, replied that he was.

He added, “I asked what a lot of people wanted to know. And if he [Spencer] had tried to come across, I would have dumped him like a bag of dirt.”

As for Heidi saying women should beware of Roaker lest he attack them, Roker says it’s ridiculous and his reputation speaks for itself.

“I  mean c’mon. I have interviewed hundreds of women on this program. Never had a complaint and you know, look, they are so unused to people actually asking them a real question, that they didn’t know how to handle it.”

(You might want to forward to 4:20 in the above video if you want to get past all the Jon & Kate B.S.)

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Al Roaker interviewed Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on the Today Show this morning, launching a scathing attack against the couple in a not-so-subtle way.

WATCH VIDEO BELOW!

Al was really fired up! It’s like he spent the weekend getting psyched for the interview and when he finally plopped down in front of Heidi & Spencer he could barely contain himself!

Al is obviously not a fan of Heidi & Spencer, and he made no qualms about squishing their little egos into the sand!

Throughout the interview Heidi can be seen looking at Al with an uncomfortable smile. She later told Ryan Seacrest that she was extremely upset after the taping and cried after being humiliated.

She said:

“I was shocked at how rude he was – I was crying afterwards because I couldn’t believe I felt personally attacked. I wanted to say to him, do you feel proud of how you’re talking to me right now? I’m just a young woman and you’re coming at me so aggressively and meanly [sic] and mean-spirited.

“I just wanted to talk about the show and my experience there and how fun it was, and he just made it a very uncomfortable and awful experience. I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all.”

Ok, so I am no fan of Heidi and Spencer, but Al did seem to take it a little far. He came across as being bitter and mean. Which is fine if you’re a blogger (heh), but when you’re an anchor on NBC it’s a bit unprofessional.

Al also insisted that the couple told the world that NBC “tortured” them. Umm, no they didn’t, Al! That would have been Spencer’s sister who said that. But Al wasn’t having it.

After the interview Al still had more sh*t talking to do. He later Twittered: “Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for…being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we’re at minute 11 of their 15.”

After watching Speidi on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! I have come to the conclusion that Heidi isn’t mean spirited, Spencer just rubs off on her. He’s the douche. But I do have to admit, he did pretty good up against Al. He held his own and his composure made Al look like the dick.

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Now maybe we know where Heidi Montag gets the whole attention whore thing from.

Her mother.

Anytime a parent pulls a Michael Lohan (a.k.a. goes running to the media about their kid’s problems) I get suspicious. The latest parent to do so is Heidi’s mother, Darlene Egelhoff, 46.

One good thing about this woman – she can’t stand Spencer Pratt either.

She says,

“He’s manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi. I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged.”

Ok, now who’s doing the drugs, lady? Let’s not get carried away here, these two are like peas in a pod.

Anyhow, she continues, “Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I’ve been honest with Heidi, and it’s caused our relationship to decline. I’m more devastated about that than the marriage, because I’m confident the marriage won’t work out.”

Momma goes on to say that before good ol’ Spenc came into their lives she and Heidi were inseperable.

“She was my Velcro, always attached to me. I want the best for my daughter – and he’s definitely not it.”

Yeah, when kids grow up they usually don’t hang out with their parents very much. Sounds like mom is jealous. Maybe because Heidi was her meal ticket – or maybe because she just hates Spencer that much.

She doesn’t stop there with her Spencer bashing. “I think Spencer wants to possess Heidi more than marry her. God says love your enemies, but I never expected it to be my son-in-law.”

When asked how long she expects the marriage to last she says bluntly, “Six months. I think it’s the biggest mistake Heidi’s ever made.”

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So as it turns out, the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt wedding wasn’t as spontaneous as they would have liked us to believe.

Duh!

Cameras were in tow as the couple eloped in Cabo San Lucas, and also have been following them during their honeymoon.

Executive producer Liz Gately confirms, “MTV is currently filming Heidi and Spencer in Mexico, as we were expecting to capture them on vacation. Fans will be able to see the exclusive footage from the ceremony in an upcoming episode, and we will continue to follow the newlywed’s relationship as it plays out in real life.”

Anything and everything is marketable to these two. If they ever have a kid, that child will be pimped out to the media, not to mention the actual birth being recorded and sold on DVD.

But let’s not think about them procreating. Because if ever there were an evil spawn..

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Heidi Montag and longtime boyfriend Spencer Pratt eloped in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on November 20th.

I’m sure you’re elated..

What Spencer said to Heidi as they exchanged vows,

“Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.”

He sure lays it on thick. That boy is whipped. He knows without her he would be a big fat nothing – and there would be no more Us Weekly covers..

[Us]

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag doing what they do best, dishing diarrhea, at Taco Bell’s ‘Reality Check Challenge’ on Global Hunger.

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Stumble it!

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“That’s a bold statement for someone who only decided to try and be Brody’s father after Brody got famous. He should focus more on trying to be a father and worry less about Brody’s influences. Brody’s doing just fine.”

- Spencer Pratt responds to Bruce Jenner saying he is a bad influence on his son, Brody Jenner

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Heidi Montag and self important boyfriend Spencer Pratt treated themselves to a nice dinner with a couple of friends at a Los Angeles restaurant Saturday night…camera crew in tow, no doubt.

Their bill came to a total of $783. Included on the tab was 12 shots of Platinum Patron which runs $60 a shot! Spencer, being the man that he is, flipped the bill, but only left $800. That means a mere $17 tip for the lucky waitress who was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of waiting on these morons.

Once filming had stopped, the waitress went to the producer of the show and asked about the whopping 2% tip. He then forked out $60 of his own money, bringing the total tip to just under 10%. Not excellent tipping skills.

So waitstaff and bartenders in L.A. take note, and don’t do these two any favors.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

In the latest issue of Radar magazine, Spencer Pratt’s advice column ‘Yo, Spencer!’ gets a little dirty.

YO SPENCER! How long do you have to date someone before it’s appropriate to bring up the possibility of anal sex?

If you’re dating a guy, right away. If you’re dating girl, I think you’ll know pretty quick if she’s into that. If they’re not bringing it up, it’s not something on their agenda. That’s just realistic. My boxing coach Dirty Phi says, “If you stick your pinkie in there, and then another finger, and then another, and she responds happily, then it’s cool.”

Ok, this is almost too much. Spencer talking about anal is pretty raunch. But lo and behold, even when talking about something this foul, Spencer always finds a way to drop hints about how cool he is. “My boxing coach says…” In other words, “Hey everyone, I just started boxing this week, and I want everyone to know because it ups my hip factor.”

Poor Spencer, I don’t know if there is anyone out there who tries harder…