Source: yeeeah.com

Natural beauty Christina Aguilera apparently put on quite a skank show at LAX nightclub last weekend. The Daily Mail says

[Aguilera] and her [female] companion put on a sexy show by dancing close to each other. 26-year-old Christina even grabbed her friend’s head and rubbed her face into her breast as their racy dancing continued.

Some new moms join their local chapter of Stroller Strides; some join little play groups that meet for story time at the library; some get wasted and shove their girlfriends’ faces in their tits like college freshmen whose daddies didn’t show them enough attention growing up. Those are the kind of mommies that have martinis for breakfast and fuck their kids’ soccer coaches and demand full custody for extra child support paychecks. Or, as I like to call them, “the cool moms” at whose houses the Stroller Stride kids are going to want to spend the night in fifteen years.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan is bound and determined to flex the ol’ acting muscle with her latest movie role. According to The Sun

Lindz has reportedly sealed a deal to strip naked in a new movie called Florence. Star magazine claim the 21-year-old will be paid just £37,500 for the opportunity to play a sex mad waitress. A source tells the magazine: “She just wants to remind people she can act and she’s worth hiring.”

Surely such a stretch will be worthy of Academy gold! She should consider other equally challenging roles like “washed-up former child star turned coke addict” or “penis-gobbing scourge of L.A.” I can almost smell the Oscars from here!

Lindsay leaving Nicole Richie’s house on Monday:

Source: yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan is bound and determined to flex the ol’ acting muscle with her latest movie role. According to The Sun

Lindz has reportedly sealed a deal to strip naked in a new movie called Florence. Star magazine claim the 21-year-old will be paid just £37,500 for the opportunity to play a sex mad waitress. A source tells the magazine: “She just wants to remind people she can act and she’s worth hiring.”

Surely such a stretch will be worthy of Academy gold! She should consider other equally challenging roles like “washed-up former child star turned coke addict” or “penis-gobbing scourge of L.A.” I can almost smell the Oscars from here!

Lindsay leaving Nicole Richie’s house on Monday:

Source: yeeeah.com

You already know that Lindsay Lohan gets drilled more often than the Alaskan coastline in the late nineteen-eighties. But what happens when Lindsay doesn’t get her daily requirement of wiener? Rush and Molloy say

Lindsay Lohan was working her charms as she fluttered back and forth between Adrian Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio Tuesday night at a West Hollywood club. LiLo at first gravitated to Grenier, pulling off her red leather jacket and pulling him onto the dance floor. But when the girl he came with reclaimed the “Entourage” star, Lohan made her way over to the table where Leo was partying with Kevin Connolly and Lukas Haas. “She was very flirty with Leo,” says our spy. “But he wasn’t saying much to her.” DiCaprio and Grenier and their posses exited around 2 a.m., leaving Lohan [penis-less].

Then the sound of fabric ripping echoed through the club as Lindsay lumbered to the center of the floor with a vagina bulging three times its normal size. She frantically scoured the room and bellowed “Ho-han horny! Ho-han smash!” before ripping the top from a table so she could mount its base, alternating between angry snarls and whimpers of delight. Unfortunately, by that time most everyone had already run screaming from the building, so nobody got pictures. But they weren’t kidding when they said you don’t want to make Lindsay Lohan horny! Trust me — you wouldn’t like her when she’s horny.

The Bill Bixby Lindsay at a Fendi celebration on Wednesday:

Source: yeeeah.com

Well, I’m back, boys and girls! Thanks for all the kind words and concerned emails during my absence. And also the liter bottles of gin on my doorstep. I don’t know how the hell you found out where I live, and though terrifying, I appreciate the gesture nonetheless. You guys are the best!

And now, without further ado — Jamie Lynn Spears is a trailer trash whorebag! God, it feels good to be back! According to Star magazine

The Zoey 101 star has often cheated on Casey, the 18-year-old she has identified as the father of her child. “I know for a fact that Casey was not the first guy she slept with — or the last,” says one fellow teen in Kentwood, La. “There were at least two others. I know that 110 percent.”

Just days before announcing her pregnancy in December, Jamie Lynn shocked a boy at a party by asking him for sex. “It’s cool, I’m pregnant,” she said. “I can’t get pregnant again!”

That’s quite possibly the skankiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. And that’s a real feat, considering all the COPS and Springer reruns I watch when I’m supposed to be out looking for a job. In a distant second and third: “I already spit out all the other dude’s cum” and “You can’t get pregnant from doin’ it in the butt.”

Jamie still being a pregnant tramp last week:

Source: www.yeeeah.com

You already know that Lindsay Lohan gets drilled more often than the Alaskan coastline in the late nineteen-eighties. But what happens when Lindsay doesn’t get her daily requirement of wiener? Rush and Molloy say

Lindsay Lohan was working her charms as she fluttered back and forth between Adrian Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio Tuesday night at a West Hollywood club. LiLo at first gravitated to Grenier, pulling off her red leather jacket and pulling him onto the dance floor. But when the girl he came with reclaimed the “Entourage” star, Lohan made her way over to the table where Leo was partying with Kevin Connolly and Lukas Haas. “She was very flirty with Leo,” says our spy. “But he wasn’t saying much to her.” DiCaprio and Grenier and their posses exited around 2 a.m., leaving Lohan [penis-less].

Then the sound of fabric ripping echoed through the club as Lindsay lumbered to the center of the floor with a vagina bulging three times its normal size. She frantically scoured the room and bellowed “Ho-han horny! Ho-han smash!” before ripping the top from a table so she could mount its base, alternating between angry snarls and whimpers of delight. Unfortunately, by that time most everyone had already run screaming from the building, so nobody got pictures. But they weren’t kidding when they said you don’t want to make Lindsay Lohan horny! Trust me — you wouldn’t like her when she’s horny.

The Bill Bixby Lindsay at a Fendi celebration on Wednesday:

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This is Eva Longoria in some kind of blast from the past ad campaign for Bebe. I am pretty sure they are recent and not pictures that launched her career a decade ago but they remind me of posters I used to decorate my ratty ass apartment with in the early 90s when everyone went to the music store as a daily activity to check out CDs and they all had racks of cheesy as fuck posters that everyone would buy because the babe ones were always on sale for 99 cents and that was the kind of decor I could afford…..

I am talking about bitches in g-strings shot from behind with naval hats on with the caption saying “Rear admiral” or the one with the hot chick in the red bikini sprawled on an exotic car that had the caption saying “Drive” and then there was another one of chick in tight racing leather riding a racing motorcycle and it said something like “Riding Into the Sunset” or even the classic Justification for Higher Education that I used to inspire me while drinking everyday while sitting on the floor drinking when I should have been getting an education….

Either way, these cheesy as fuck ads are expected from a cheesy as fuck celebrity who is nothing more than a soap opera star who is lucky enough to go to the night time Emmy Awards instead of the less prestigious Daytime Emmy Awards…because of good management and a lack of Mexican actresses to choose from…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here are some pictures of Lohan with some kind of botched tan job. Now I don’t spend as much time as I should at the tanning salon, because it’s the one place I know that I will see strippers, porn sluts and trash outside of their element and that is exciting to my useless life, so I don’t know if her fucked up tan line is from passing out in the tanning bed with a dick she was suckin’ across her chin or if it’s just a bad spray tan done by the same asshole who wrote “CUNT” across my forehead in sunscreen the last time I was on the beach….but I have a feeling that I was the guy who wrote CUNT across some drunk dude’s face and it wasn’t in sunscreen, it was in piss because I think pissing on passed out people is funny, at least I did 10 years ago when it happened…

Either way, I guess this white splotch on her face is a lot less messy than the white splotches she’s used to having on her face, but a little more socially acceptable, because when she normally walks out of her house with cum dripping off her chin, people usually avoid her, now they just laugh at her….

So here’s to Lohan’s failed attempt to be Lionel Richie for the day. This counts as black history month content because white folk trying to be mo’ black makes them honorary or some shit.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s are some pictures of Alex Curran in some fuck me boots, even though she’s already been fucked and has 2 kids with her ‘footballin’ husband. It turns out that she’s another one of those UK bitches called WAGS who lands a footballer to marry because I guess football husbands are the closest thing to royalty, with blue collars and not blue blood bullshit cuz blue collar love blonds with fake tits as trophy wives while blue blood just like them to fuck and make disappear so they don’t cause a scandal with the media.

I also learned that Alex, writes a weekly column for the Daily Mirror about Shopping, which should probably be called how to seduce and get knocked up by rich men athletes so that you can buy designer clothes, attend all the right events and never ever work again.

Either way, I feel like a better person for looking up this girl today instead of just writing that I have no idea who the bitch is, so thanks wikipedia for being my teacher, because with you in my life, who really needs to know anything,

The highlight of these pictures is that they call Lays chips something different over there and that’s good news because it gives me something to talk to my wife about, we really only connect when we’re talking about food. but that’s just because it’s all she knows, I mean besides knowing how to be lazy as fuck.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am not sure who told these girls that blonde hair, fake tits, fake tans, tacky short dresses and jacked up lips was beautiful or sexy and I am not sure what kind of fucked up insecurities these bitches had where they felt they had to be blonde hair, fake tits, fake tans, tacky short dresses and jacked up lips to have any self worth.

I kinda like it because when I see it, I know it’s a stamp of approval from the porn and stripping industry and that usually means that despite the bitch’s attitude that she’s some kind of celebrity or more important than me, I know she’s nothing by a worthless dirtbag who gets naked for money and whenever a bitch gets naked for money, that means she’ll get naked for you for money, now all I need is money.

Either way, Chantelle Houghton is a standard slut from Big Brother UK having the typical blonde hair, fake tits, fake tan, tacky short dresses and jack up lips upskirt and I don’t know when these pictures were taken or why I am posting them, but I am.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Facebook and Myspace and Paris Hilton, Lohan and company have turned a generation of girls into sluts who think partying hard and filming sex tapes is the way to fuckin’ get ahead in life. They are dressing like sluts, having sex with multiple partners wherever they can get it and often times in public and they’ve probably only had their periods for a year.

I was talking to a girl in Starbucks the other day who told me about some after party she went to where these two 15 year old girls were walking around naked. There was blood smeared all over the couch from one of them who had lost her virginity that night before letting every single guy in the place stick their dicks inside them both vaginally and anally.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I was 15, I don’t even think I sucked on a pair of tits yet, and it wasn’t really by choice, the girls I knew weren’t into getting with the weird mexican kid who spoke broken english, but that’s not the point, the point is that I was born in the wrong fucking era.

Here is a picture of Miley Cyrus posing in a hot tub in a bikini that she took herself, that reminds me of so many young girls in bikinis I come across online, so I guess this shit is just normal and I can’t help but be bitter that when I was 15 girls weren’t even shaving their pussies and rocked one-piece bathing suits to the waterpark like they were on the fuckin’ swim team and not like a girl who wants us to see her junk.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Addicted

This video was sent into me to review and I normally don’t review music videos but I do like to draw any attention to sluts in the mainstream. I’ve never heard of this band called Saving Abel or their song Addicted, so I guess they aren’t that mainstream, but since they do have some kind of blondie with implants in lingerie crawling around between the sheets it made the cut. I am easy like that.

Now if they wanted to make this video a little better, there would be a lot more of the chick in her underwear and a lot less of the song. This is the reason why silent music videos should exist, but I guess that’s what the MUTE button is for.