Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Shia LeBeouf doesn’t need to go out on the town looking for poon. That’s for amateurs. Instead he just shows up on TODAY to promote something, anything, and they just hand him over some desperate fan that will satisfy his every desire… hope she’s familiar with Two Girls, One Cup…

After a brief segment where the big fan Samantha asks Matt Lauer if Shia can come outside, The Beouf sat down with Meredith Viera to promote his latest movie TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. However, the talk quickly turned to Samantha, who The Beouf said he liked a lot and thought was a real special person. The host of WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE not named Regis then arranged for the girl to bring coffee to the set and deliver it to her dreamboat.

The Beouf then started to work his slick Hollywood moves, telling her she looked great. “I’ve been planning this all week! I bought this… I can’t believe this!” They arranged for the girl to take a seat and even allowed her to ask LeBeouf a question – “What kind of girls are you interested in?”

“All kinds… seriously, being honest with you… I don’t have a specific.”

Then clearly following the journalistic integrity of TODAY’s hosts, she asked the follow-up, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” pointed out The Beouf. “What’re you doing the rest of the day? My day is boring.”

Samantha revealed that she was there with her four friends, and Shia wanted them to “round up the troops already,” and Samantha’s dream orgy with The Beouf was born.

I’m not saying that the girl was ugly… she was definitely cute, and with some serious alcohol consumption, she might have looked like a blurry Megan Fox… okay, that’s a stretch. Probably more like a blurry girl that you’d look up for a booty call when no one else will answer your calls. But, hey… beggars can’t be choosers, and, when the chance to nail five fans at the same time occurs, you should take advantage of it.

High-fives all around from me, Shia… no, wait… I hate high-fives. Handshakes and terrorist fist jabs instead then, as you used your fame for the powers of good, to screw a handful of your average-looking fans… ain’t nothing wrong with that. I understand completely where you’re coming from. You use someone else’s TV… I use a blog… we should totally hang out sometime and trade secrets. And, ladies, you know how to reach me.

Source: yeeeah.com

Because the last name ‘LeBouef’ is a only few letters shy of “Little Bunny Foo-Foo” and closer still to “LeFuckface,” “Transformers” star Shia LeBouef found himself in police custody yesterday morning after refusing to leave a Chicago-area Walgreen’s. According to Us Weekly

Shia LaBeouf was arrested for trespassing [at Walgreen’s] early Sunday morning. The actor, 21, reportedly ignored repeated requests from a security guard to leave the store and was taken to the city’s Near North police district around 2:25 a.m. (The Walgreen’s guard also filed a complaint against the actor.) A source [says] that LaBeouf was partying with friends at Chicago hot spot The Underground shortly before his arrest. LaBeouf was cited on a misdemeanor count of trespassing… and is due in court November 28.

Pregnant ladies, Shia here is reason enough to carefully reconsider what you’re planning on naming your unborn child. Charles “Chas” Whitfield Wellington the Third might sound nice on paper, but attach it to a kid and youngsters everywhere are instantly overwhelmed with the urge to stuff his stupid smarmy face in the cafeteria trashcan and then pour glue in his hair. Suffice it to say you might as well name your baby “Fagonious McQueerpuff” or “Punchmeinthekidneys Smith.” What you want to do when choosing a name is go with as few syllables as possible. A lot of hard consonants, too. You want the name to name to be the spoken language equivalent of a punch in the face. Tex McGruff, for example. Bam bam. See how that works? Rock Strongbottom. Flex Toughman. Rick Rude. In comparison, the name “Shia LeBeouf” is the spoken word equivalent of being pelted with a marshmallow by some string-beany looking guy arguing with a drugstore rent-a-cop. Besides, everybody knows “beouf” is just another word for “getting tagged in the butt” anyway. Don’t make the same mistake his mother did!

The whole mug shot, plus ‘Transformers’ co-star Megan Fox at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week: