Source: www.yeeeah.com

If you thought Ashton Kutcher’s crappy new show “Pop Fiction” couldn’t get any lamer, allow me to present Exhibit D. As in D-list and D-Bags. Adnan “Fifteen Minutes Long Since Over” Ghalib and comedianne Kathy Griffin, panty-shopping together! Egad! In case you don’t know, the show’s premise involves celebrities setting up the paparazzi, like Paris Hilton and her personal shaman or Audrina Partridge and her meaningless tattoo. And in case you didn’t care, you could get the same quality celebrity fishing turds out of the shitter at Hyde or wringing out Lindsay Lohan’s t-back. Well-played, Kelso! Well-played.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Your days of seeing Britney Spears’ beaver are numbered, thanks to dad Jamie Spears’ daily panty checks. Welcome to the seventh circle of hell, daddy! According to Showbiz Spy

Jamie is fed up with the Toxic star’s revealing clothing and wants to ensure her pantyless flashing days are behind her. A source said: “Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out.” The singer’s assistant, Brett, also reportedly reminds the pop wreck to wear underwear and a bra. The source added to the National Enquirer: “Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top.”

I don’t know which is worse — being the guy that cleans up the slaughtered pig viscera in a meatpacking house, or being the guy that has to check his 26-year old daughter’s undercarriage for visible cave bacon. Either one would probably put you off pork for a while.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

These are obviously some old pictures of Alena Seredova because she had a kid less than a month ago and no one, no matter how fast her C-Section Tummy Tuck combo heals bounces back this fast, especially when you’re eastern European and your medical facilities involve a Windmill, 3 drunken Military Men, a Nuclear Reactor, a black and white TV and a circus bear that balances on a basketball while eating sausage and drinking cheap rationed communist beer.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I do know that I like looking up this bitch’s Eastern European, knocked up by an Italian Football player’s, log legged skirt, because I am international like that, but not as international as the pervert with the camera phone because I never leave my couch. Cuddles.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

You can’t hate on Britney for having her period because according to science most women get their periods until they get old and dry up. What you can do is think it’s kinda gross because periods are pretty fucking unnatural and disgusting even if science tries to trick us into thinking they are normal. Seeing a grown woman with rape-scene stained underwear just makes me think she doesn’t keep her junk as clean as she should and although slip ups may happen to the best of us, the amount of blood on this shit is more a question of hygiene because this kinda shit is only acceptable when the bitch is 10 years old and sitting in the back of the class in a pair of white pants.

I guess this is all part of the fall from the top, because when you’re crazy, it’s normal to forget to shove a tampon in or to think flashing your bloody panties will prove some kind of point and this is one step closer to her smearing feces all over hers naked body then lighting her hair on fire and running into traffic, which is what I’m lookin forward for but that’s just because I love poo.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Serial Attention Whore Bai Ling was caught showing off some panty and some meaty nipple in pictures which isn’t a huge surprise because every picture ever taken of this bitch has shots of her nipples or her panties in it. That would be like being shocked that a hooker will actually let you fuck her for money because she has a vagina and historically no amount of money would convince anyone to give you their vagina, that’s only because you were wasting time on the wrong crowd. I have no where to go with this post because let’s face it, there’s nothing inspiring from these pictures but I’ll post it anyway because I’m really not out to impress you.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Whenever I see these panty upskirt shots of girls getting out of a car, I am reminded of a better time, where I’d spend my days hanging out at the bottom of the escalators at the mall in hopes of looking up a girls skirt, now I only do that on weekends. I find that whole unsuspecting thing where a girl has no idea she’s showing off her underwear, but I totally know that I am looking at her underwear that may only last for a couple of seconds, but stamps my brain with memories for at least a couple of weeks. It gets really exciting when the girl isn’t wearing underwear and I see her lady parts that I am sure she had no intention of showing me, but destiny and my crafty positioning brought us together.

I realized that I am a pervert today because I was standing outside smoking a cigar and some girl in a short skirt walked out of the building I was next too. She was looking for a taxi or was waiting to cross the street or some shit I didn’t bother paying attention to because a gust of wind blew her skirt up showing me her thonged ass. I was considering walking away prior to this happening, but the second I got a first glimpse of ass cheek, I was hooked and I made it my duty to wait it out to see if it would happen again. It didn’t. I just got busted by her boyfriend and had to pretend that I was staring at her short skirt covered ass for a reason other than it being a good way to pass the time.

Either way, here’s Audrina Partridge from The Hills getting out of a car and showing us a little panty that was captured on camera so that split second can last us as long as we want it to.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere showing off a pair of yellow underwear as she gets out of a car. I always loved the concept of yellow underwear, not because it’s hot, but it’s practical and the same reason a girl on her period should wear red period pants. It’s called preventative measures…like quitting smoking because you know shit will give you cancer.

I am not posting these because I think Hayden is hot, I can only assume that no one thinks she’s hot, except for a bunch of gay dudes who run the media, because she reminds them of their first experimental blowjob when they were 16 with the awkard lookin’ exchange student from Russia who had no friends and were lookin’ for acceptance.

The reality is that I am posting these because I know you are into fetish shit….and Hayden Panettiere reminds me of the caricatures people get done of themselves at the carnival so much that when Hayden gets her caricature done, the picture comes back lookin’ like a normal person. I guess seeing her underwear is one step closer to seeing whether her vagina has the looks like a bobble-head toy too.

I am just waking up, and the last thing I want to be doing is writing this site. I hate you.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am all about washed up models wearing stupid costumes to 80s parties with other washed up models only because shit reminds me of every hipster party I’ve ever been too, where motherfuckers rape thrift shops and American Apparel only to act like everyday is Halloween. The difference is that Naomi Campbell is rich and doesn’t have to hide her cocaine from her other hipster friends for fear that they are going to want a bump that will bite into her stash that she won’t be able to replenish until her dad wires her the weekly stipend he has set up for her to go to University, because she’s a rich kid.

I am also all about the fact that bitch is insane and insane girls get me excited, except for this insane girl I once banged who was emotionally unstable. I used a condom even though I am anti condom because I didn’t know what gutter she crawled out of, but she smelled like it wasn’t a very clean one and half way into it, she was begging me to take off the condom and cum inside her because she wanted to feel what it’s like to have my baby….

That scared me enough to finish up fast and run to the bathroom to flush the condom because I didn’t want her to turn it inside out and try to knock herself up. In retrospect, I should have let her have my baby, she would have made a decent mother and has been the only woman to ever ask me to get her pregnant on the first date.

Bonus – Some Slag Named Jenny Frost I’ve Never Heard of at the Same Party

Another Bonus – Kate Moss and her Boyfriend at the Party

Source: www.derekhail.com

Here is Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car flashing black panties to the paparazzo’s camera, which ultimately means one thing. Lindsay is now rehabilitated, but is still starving for attention. After spending a majority of her time in Utah, I can’t say that I’m surprised. “The Utah Statesmen” doesn’t cover news like this. The local church would have been more likely to perform an exorcism before Lindsay made the front page for an upskirt. So Lindsay was smart and waited for the opportune moment, and here she is.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

What can’t this girl do? She’s acting and she’s singing and running her stupid business and making all kind of money at least she knows that showing off her ass and panties while performing is good for business and leads to a lot more money that she probably doesn’t need, but who cares, because you get to jerk off to her.

We all like sluts and the only thing better than banging a slut is banging a slut with a boyfriend because a single slut could be out trying to live the empowered woman Sex in the City lifestyle and meaningless sex makes her feel like she’s got it going on, but a slut with a boyfriend, isn’t supposed to be a slut because she’s supposed to be hooked to her boyfriend, and making her break that code, proves that she’s got no self-control and under the bullshit lie that is her relationship is really a slut and making that happen is even more exciting than seeing a girl flashing her junk.

Point of all this is to say, that it’s nice to see that Hilary Duff showing the world that despite being cursed with a busted up horse face you can still make it, because she’s like the Phantom of the Opera and all it took was a slutty dress and a pair of black underwear to make it happen.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am not sure who Minka Kelly is but I was told she was in Friday Night Lights, and I don’t know what that is but I can only assume it’s on TV or a Movie and it doesn’t really matter because she’s been caught flashing her panties for the paparazzi, which is the beauty of wearing dresses. I remember spending days in the mall at the bottom of the escalator lookin’ up to see as many panties as possible, security caught onto me after a few months, but it was a good time while it lasted. I just never understood how the girls never knew everyone could see their junk, I used to like believe that they did know but would pretend they didn’t because knowing the world can see their mound would make everyone think they were sluts.

I think the reason girls don’t mind showing off their underwear is because of the bathing suits they grew up wearing. From a young age they’d be running around the pool or beach in something that is more exposing than a pair of underwear, so as long as it’s cover up it aint a thing. I’d rather the shit not be covered up, because panties limit my view of the labia, but I guess what it comes down to is that girls don’t like doing things for me. But my readers do, this is an email I got about the threatening Splash News shit I posted yesterday:

HEY JESUS

I LOVE YOUR SITE AM A BIG FAN

JUST WANTED TO PASS ALONG SOMETHING FUNNY.
I WAS ON YOUR SITE YESTERDAY WHILE I WAS AT WORK
AND SAW HOW SPLASH NEWS MADE YOU TAKE DOWN
THE HILARY DUFF PICTURES.
WELL YOU HAD THE E-MAIL UP FOR SPLASH AND I DECIDED TO SEND HIM
A NICE E-MAIL SHORT AND SWEET THAT JUST SAID
“FUCK YOU, GET OVER YOURSELF ASSHOLE”
WELL LO AND BEHOLD THIS GUY WITH A BRITISH ACCENT CALLED MY WORK
LOOKING FOR ME WONDERING WHY I E-MAILED THIS TO HIM, AND HE WANTED
MY HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT HE WAS MAKING A BIG STINK.
NOW I WAS ALREADY GONE FOR THE DAY SO NOW I’M WORRIED
THIS PRICK IS GONNA START TROUBLE FOR ME.
HE ALSO E-MAILED ME SAYING I’M NICE AND POLITE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO.

And the follow-up

HEY JESUS
THANKS FOR THE REPLY

WELL HE CALLED BACK
BUT WE GOT HIM GOOD.
I AM CLOSE WITH THE RECEPTIONIST HERE WHO BY THE WAY
IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD, BELEIVE ME AND I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY.
SO ANYWAY SHE KNEW THAT IF SOMEONE WITH A BRITISH ACCENT CALLED
ASKING FOR HUMAN RESOURCES SHE WOULD PUT HIM THROUGH TO ME.
ANYWAY HE STARTED GOING ON HOW I SHOULD NOT BE SENDING E-MAILS
TO THEM LIKE THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH.
HE ALSO THOUGHT THAT I AM PROBABLY NOT AN IDEAL EMPLOYEE IF
I AM SENDING STUFF LIKE THAT FROM WORK.
SO I LET HIM FINISH AND THEN RESPONDED WITH THESE ARE MY QUOTES.
“ARE YOU DONE, WELL NOW LISTEN TO ME, WE ARE THE LARGEST SEAFOOD COMPANY IN THE WORLD
AND MARK IS OUR TOP SALES REP IN THE COUNTRY,SO HE CAN PRETTY MUCH DO WHAT HE WANTS
INCLUDING FUCKING MY WIFE IF HE SO PLEASES, AND BY THE WAY EVERYBODY IN THIS COMPANY
WICH IS ABOUT 2,000 EMPLOYEES ALL LIKE THE DRUNKEN STEPFATHER SITE AND WE HAVE HEARD
OF THIS SPLASH OR WET WEBSITE WHATEVER YOU CALL IT, SO FUCK YOU AND GET OVER YOURSELF ASSHOLE”
AND THEN CLICK PHONE IS DEAD LOL LOL
KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING BROTHER, LOVE YA.

P.S.
YES THERE WAS SOME EXAGGERATION OVER MY POSITION WITH THE COMPANY LOL

These paparazzi are fucking predators trying to ruin everyone they can, I like predators when they come in the form of animal print panties, so here’s Minka Kelly with her stupid name and her shitty upskirt.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Kate Middleton was linked to one of Diana’s Princes, which is a pretty good relationship to be in had she kept dude happy enough to keep him around. The paparazzi killed his mom and they are just as hooked on him and she’d have an have to deal with being followed everywhere she went, but he’s some prime pussy because dude’s probably richer than most people and sometimes that’s a good trade off, especially considering that the paparazzi still follows her around and she’s not even capitalizing on him…..

Here are some pictures of Kate Middleton having a panty upskirt which is totally unacceptable behavior for a bitch who dated royalty. If I was the Prince I would demand my sluts never wear underwear even after we broke up because vagina flashes are cooler than panty shots. I’d make the bitch sign a contract and if she strayed from the rules I’d have my people chop off her head, or send the paparazzi to run her off the road or whatever Royalty do. If I was a Prince I’d probably do a lot of other really stupid shit but only because I would get away with it because I was a Prince. Like I’d randomly walk into people’s houses kick them out and turn it into a fort while playing with the wive’s panties or some shit….There are just so many options…..

I once knew a dude with a ton of money who thought fucking with whores was the funniest thing he could do with his money. So he’d call them out and get them to do random shit like hug him for an hour or read him bed time stories, or watch him wash the dishes, or try on his expensive suits. He’d drop 500 dollars an hour sometimes because it was worth it to him, he was like the king of his own castle he just used his power in a way that made me uncomfortable, even though I laughed.

Here are those pics.