Source: agentbedhead.com

While Liam Gallagher’s been getting freshly waxed, Noel might be preparing to wax you.
The Gallaghers are in Los Angeles with the rest of the band to record their first album of new material since 2005, and they’ve been adapting with frightening ease to the West
Coast lifestyle. This involves less body hair than its UK equivalent, but a lot more firearms. So, while Liam hangs out at the Four Seasons beauty spa, getting his bikini area tweezed or whatever the hell is next on his makeover agenda, Noel’s been assembling an arsenal:

Noel sent me a text about going shooting in America, and about how scared he was of shooting himself. He was going to get some guns and rifles I think. It was supposed to be a leisurely day out or hobby to get stuck into.

I suppose this means Noel is becoming Britain’s answer to Ted Nugent. Although, when you throw in the beauty treatments and the Gallagher brothers’ conspicuous lack of Ted Nugent’s boyish charm, the Gallaghers sound more like a twenty-first century version of the Krays.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Gone are the old-fashioned days when chucking furniture from a hotel suite’s balcony was the customary measure for angst-ridden musicians to liberate themselves from the clutches of society’s rules. These days, a trip to the spa will easily bring out the inner Matthew McConaughey even in the most wasted of English rockers.

The boys of Oasis have jumped across the pond and are currently recording their seventh record in, of all places, Los Angeles. The band’s lead wanker, Liam Gallagher, has been staying at the Four Seasons hotel in Los Angeles, and during his stay, he has allegedly received a thorough waxing of his chest and eyebrows:

Gallagher is rumoured to have used the massage, reflexology and waxing facilities at the hotel’s spa.

“Liam enjoyed some swimming in the morning and checked into the beauty spa area before lunch,” said a source.

“And as well as the usual back massage and pedicure, he was also treated to some reflexology and waxing.

“Liam spent just over seven hours there as he’d been working in the studio all night. It was just what he needed.”

After seven hours, I would say that he most definitely also ordered up a happy ending. Isn’t that what “reflexology” means? Of course, no pictures of this alleged incident exist, so I totally put Liam’s head on McConaughey. Those motherfucking hands were just too good to pass up.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Back in the Nineties, when people actually paid attention to the Gallagher brothers and Oasis, the band’s feud with rival group Blur was good for gallons of ink and gazillions of pixels from the British tabloid press. Some of us hoped the two bands might settle matters with a head-to-head playoff, preferably on a cruise ship that plowed into an iceberg made of frozen nitroglycerine at the height of the festivities. But passions cooled down, and now both groups are more than a little passé.

But not completely dead. Rumor has it that Blur and Oasis might rehash their feud on a special episode of The Weakest Link (don’t hold your breath). More interestingly, it’s possible that the Gallaghers might team up with Blur members Alex James and Damon Albarn to leave the music behind and make beautiful cheese together. In the memorable words of Alex James, “[cheese] was the glue that held Blur together for so long,” and supposedly Liam and Noel share his passion for the moldy stuff. The four are talking about creating a high-potency Stilton that could make its debut at the Brit music awards, hopefully as an alternative dessert course. Some think this story is too ridiculous to believe, but the truth is that Alex really is a dairy farmer and a serious cheesehead, who believes cheesemaking can redeem even the likes of the Gallagher brothers. According to the source: “He had the masterplan of creating something constructive through the medium of cheese, which would mark their maturity.” And about damn time.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Question: What do Liam Gallagher and Brad Pitt have in common?

Answer: Nothing but a few good stories about their past drug use . . .

missus writes: “The worst gak I ever shared was from Dave from Blur and Liam Gallagher. Remember when Liam got let off that possession charge? There was so little coke in his coke. Liam wrote his dealer a thank-you letter. Haha. Bless.”

At least he bothered to write a thank-you note, which is more than one expects from one of the Gallagher brothers.

JB writes: “I was a runner for a film that Brad Pitt was starring in. I was told to collect him and co-star Harrison Ford and take them on set. I open the door to Pitt’s trailer and stick my head in, calling out ‘Mr. Pitt?’. I get about two steps in and I see Brad Pitt smoking a HUGE joint.

“He asks me if I want to finish the joint with him and passes it to me, warning me to go easy as it’s strong. 21 year-old me tries to be cool so sucks down some giant lungfuls. Four minutes later I can’t even move. Brad eventually asks if I’m OK. I have to say I’m not. Brad tells me not to worry, to chill out in the trailer for a while, and that he’ll take my little buggy and collect Harrison Ford. He’ll just say on set that he sent me off to do an errand for him. It took me about half an hour before I could even pretend to be normal. I stagger back to the set. Nobody bats an eyelid.”

That film in reference must have been The Devil’s Own (1997), but it does brings to mind a certain scene in True Romance that awaits after the jump.

Pages: 1 2

Source: agentbedhead.com

Well, hell. One would think that the established star power of Live Earth would have been impossible for us underlings to resist. After all, it’s really hard to pass up an opportunity to be lectured to by Cameron Diaz, Oasis, and Madonna when these celebrities cannot even sign their own pledge. This little oversight matters not, for the larger picture is that Live Earth didn’t draw nearly as much interest as expected. Popbitch provides the brutal yet highly relevant data:

Live Earth’s BBC1 audience peaked at 3.1m. This year’s Eurovision got 10.9m.

Certainly, the presence of the Serebro babes didn’t hurt the Eurovision ratings. However, methinks that the allure of a certain Ukranian drag queen was vastly underestimated.

More on Verka Serducha, the Ukranian Cinderella:

• Worst Eurovision Ever
• We ♥ You Verka!

Source: agentbedhead.com

When Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher isn’t recording albums of Beatles do-overs, he keeps himself amused and in the press by pissing all over Robbie Williams, Green Day, Elton John, Bono, his brother Liam, and pretty much anyone else in his general vicinity. Noel is what our UK readers would call an arsehole. (And yes, I sometimes agree with his obnoxious comments, but that’s beside the point. Let’s keep the focus here on Noel.) Now that Noel’s pushing forty, he’s looking for a wider stage on which to exercise his talent for grandstanding loudmouthery, and politics is the obvious choice. So Noel is thinking about running for Prime Minister. Actually, I think to become PM you have to a) be a member of Parliament, and b) lead the party with the majority of seats, or at least with a majority coalition. Just “running for Prime Minister? isn’t really an option. But Noel isn’t interested in petty details. He wants to turn Britain around, and to do that he’ll have to hang some people. Lots of them:

I’d definitely bring back hanging – that’s for starters. All these violent offenders – you get convicted three times by three separate juries then you’re going to the gallows.
If by any off-chance some evidence comes up that you might have been innocent and could prove it beyond reasonable doubt, then your next of kin gets £500,000. Vote for me.

If Noel would just hang the various wankers on his personal shit list and then conclude his term in office with a final, climactic hanging of the Gallagher brothers, he’d get my vote. Granted, I’m an American, but Noel doesn’t get hung up on details like that. He’s more of a big-picture guy.

Source: agentbedhead.com

A love-hate relationship has bloomed between Pete Doherty and Noel Gallagher, the guitarist of Oasis. Pete wavers between talking smack about Noel’s band and wanting to open a pub together so that they can get drunk for free. Or something like that. Yet I digress.

Noel confirmed his mostly positive feelings about doherty in a recent interview:

Pete’s always been an absolute gentleman to me and my missus. He’s incredibly well-read and he’s got a good soul. I tell you what, he needs to wash his hands more, but that’s about it.

Can you feel the love? Please rest assured that Noel is still pretty much a complete prick, as some excerpts from the interview will prove:

• On Oasis: “We just believe we’re the best band in the world. We’re not arrogant, that’s just a fact.”
• On himself: “I’m not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I’m John Lennon.”
• On the possibility of life on other planets: “If I saw an alien, I’d tell it to fuck right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn’t have the Beatles or any decent fucking music… I ain’t going nowhere with them.”
• On booze: “I know I’ve got Irish blood because I wake up every day with a fuckin’ hangover.”
• On Kylie: “Kylie Minogue is just a demonic little idiot as far as I’m concerned. She gets cool dance producers to work with her for some bizarre reason, I don’t know why. She doesn’t even have a good name. It’s a stupid name, Kylie, I just don’t get it.”

Something tells me that Noel Gallagher probably once hit on Kylie Minogue, and she most likely laughed her ass off at his obvious boozy impotence.

Source: The Independent

Source: agentbedhead.com

Pete Doherty is talking smack on Babyshambles new tracks, which are soon to be released on “The Blinding” EP. Dirty Doherty says the songs are just so bloody fucking good. He even asserts that “The Sedative” will puts Manchester-bred Oasis to shame:

“It’s a dangerous tune, a bad tune, a bad, bad tune. Makes Oasis look like The Smurfs.”

Stop talking out your arse, Pete. In other vaguely homoerotic news, Pete’s old bandmate Carl Barat has confessed that being a member of The Libertines almost saw the death of him.

“Finishing off The Libertines almost killed me. Going around honouring commitments and trying to give every song what it deserved – it wasn’t easy. I should have worn a suit of armour. I was doing it for Pete. I’ll be a Libertine until the day I die.”

On the contrary, I would think that when Pete disappeared into rehab, Carl would have felt free to actually be a musician instead of pulling Pete’s head out of the toilet. That crazy rock n’ roll rubbish!

Source: MTV UK and NME