Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Mary-Kate Olsen and her publicist are staunchly denying that the pint sized star is pregnant.

“Mary-Kate is absolutely not pregnant.”

I knew it couldn’t be true. The only thing The Enquirer had to go on was that Mary-Kate had (supposedly) gained a little weight. Well then she MUST be knocked up, right?!

Bitch, please.

Women, we all know that gaining a little weight does not equal a freaking baby bump. Thank gawd.

Not that they would tell us if the little party troll was expecting anyway. I mean, omg, Nicole Richie actually got pregnant and we never thought that would happen – who knew it was even physically possible!

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According to the New York Post, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen wouldn’t let anyone talk to them, wouldn’t answer any questions, and wouldn’t sign anything but their new book.

And even then, they could only sign one copy per person. They also asked that there be absolutely no fan photography.

What a couple of trolls.

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Speaking of wackness, what the hell is Mary-Kate Olsen wearing?

It’s nothing new, she’s always wearing bizarre combinations of clothing but those shoes with that dress? Someone tell that troll to go back under her bridge!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

OK! magazine is reporting that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have a secret to obtaining their trollish smiles.

A source, who the magazine claims is close with the twins, dished, “Every time they pose and smile, they say the word “prune.”

A different source, also close to the girls, couldn’t confirm the prune story but says the twins’ smiles are important to them. “It could be true (that they say prune) but unfortunately I can’t say — they like to keep their personal lives personal. They do care about their smiles though. Mary-Kate has slightly thinner lips and more of a playful grin, while Ashley tends to go for a full-on pout. It has been the obv(ious) way to tell them apart for years.”

Source: yeeeah.com

Video footage of Mary-Kate Olsen being carried to her car and then tumbling out of the backseat after partying in L.A. Thursday night has sparked rumors than The Thinspiration will be taking another sabbatical in rehab. (I searched high and low this morning for the footage, but it’s all mysteriously been yanked after making the rounds late Friday afternoon.) According to Full Disclosure

Olsen went to rehab in Utah in 2004 for an eating disorder amid rumors that she was also being treated for substance abuse. Now friends say she is out of control again.

“She refused to talk to Elle magazine about her involvement with Heath Ledger [and it] has brought the whole thing up in the press again and she has been depressed all over,” one pal tells us.

Boy, I wish I could make a living out of drinking my body weight and passing out on the street. Of course, for Mary-Kate, drinking her body weight translates to three Bacardi Breezers and a buttery nipple if she’s retaining water, but still. I’d be fucking Fortune 500 by now instead of just part-time in your mom’s pants. Oh, that’s right — buuurrn, mothafuckas!

At the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala last month with her sister:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Mary-Kate Olsen debuted the latest in Mrs. Roper’s goiter-concealing evening wear line at a children’s charity event last night in New York. Later on that same evening, she lead the crowd in a series of motivational exercises to chart-toppers from the fifties and sixties and encouraged them all to say “Farewell to Fat!”

One more of Roper/Simmons sexing it up after the jump

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

The Olsen twins attended the wedding ceremony of stylist Estee Stanley this Saturday night in Los Angeles where Ashley Olsen was also a bridesmaid.

Mary-Kate and Ashley decided on wearing stark white masks to hide their identity from photographers.

Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, Tobey Maguire and wife, Eva Mendes, Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, and Rashida Jones also attended the nuptials but all were obviously overshadowed by the two monkeys running around in masks.

I love how they claim to want to be left alone but the attention they attract is tenfold when doing something ridiculous such as this.

It’s like the celebs who go to the convenience store and bring a big ass posse with them, or when they go anywhere for that matter. They raise such a stink about themselves, then are up in arms as to why everyone is hounding them.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Kirsten Dunst, 1995

These cute little gals seemed so sweet and innocent way back when!

Lindsay Lohan – 1999, Jamie Lynn Spears – 2002, Alyssa Milano – 1986, Hilary Duff – 2002, Kimberly Stewart – 1997, Keri Russell – 1994 and the Olsen twins – 1998.

Getty Images

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Sometimes you see things in black and white because the very nature of an absolute truth leaves no room for a middle ground. Other times you see things in black and white because you’re an pretentious idiot in a pair of gigantic bifocal sunglasses. See if you can guess which one Mary-Kate Olsen is.

Source: yeeeah.com

Heath Ledger was reportedly dating actress Mary-Kate Olsen in the months before he died. People magazine says

Both the New York Post and Daily News reported this week that Ledger and the Olsen twin were dating. “Mary-Kate and Heath were casually dating for three months before Heath’s death,” a source [said]. “They were hooking up, but neither were particularly interested in making it exclusive. They had a bond that was based on partying, and they had the same tastes in partying … like, in terms of where they liked to hang out in New York, what time they would want to go out.”

Which still doesn’t explain the four calls the masseuse made to Mary-Kate the day of his death, three of them before she ever even called the 911. According to Us Weekly

The masseuse who discovered Heath Ledger’s body Tuesday spent nine minutes making three phone calls to Mary-Kate Olsen before she called 911. She then called Olsen a fourth time after paramedics arrived.

A timeline:

2:45 p.m. Wolozin shows up for Ledger’s massage appointment and knocks on his door.

3 p.m. She calls his cell phone to wake him up.

3:17 p.m. She calls Olsen. The conversation lasts 49 seconds.

3:20 p.m. She calls Olsen again. The conversation lasts one minute and 39 seconds.

3:24 p.m. She calls Olsen a third time. The conversation lasts 21 seconds.

3:26 p.m. She calls 911.

3:33 p.m. Paramedics arrive and go up in the elevator to the apartment with Olsen’s security guards.

3:34 p.m. Wolozin calls Olsen a fourth time. The length of that conversation is unknown.

3:36 p.m. Ledger is declared dead.

I know if I’m staring down at the body of an unconscious guy who’s not breathing, the first person I’m calling is Mary-Kate Olsen. If nobody picked up at Movie Phone or 1-800-CUM-SLUTZ first, I mean. And if Ashley were out shopping. Definitely Mary-Kate Olsen. Then maybe the cops if I remembered.

Mary-Kate Olsen in this month’s issue of Nylon magazine