Source: www.derekhail.com

I have to admit, even though she’s not naked of scantily clad in the September Issue of Vogue, Keira Knightley at least shows you how somewhat versatile she can be when someone throws makeup and weird clothing at her. She still looks like an uptight little princess though.

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Source: agentbedhead.com

Keira Knightley has something in common with Balki Bartokomous of “Perfect Strangers” fame, although Keira would no doubt be loathe to acknowledge the comparison. The English sourpuss recently revealed that a reason exists for why she always looks so damn miserable in photographs:

“I’m not comfortable having to be myself or being photographed as myself. Australian Aborigines say that with every photo that is taken, a piece of your soul goes with it. And there are some days when I kind of believe that.”

Such a convenient excuse, Keira. Then again, this was also the belief of Balki, who hailed from Mypos, a wholly nonexistent Mediterranean island. If only he truly existed, then he and Keira, together, could celebrate their good fortune with the “Dance of Joy.”

Hit the next page for the dance…

Previously: I ♥ Samantha Morton, Who Doesn’t ♥ Keira Knightley

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Source: agentbedhead.com

Somehow, I was under the impression that if Keira Knightley were to actually smile, it would be like a thousand rays of sunshine dancing upon the soul of mankind. Then, Miss Keira would inexplicably grow fairy wings, and little yellow butterflies would burst forth from her magic wand. Finally, Pete Doherty, strumming his guitar, would waltz in while singing Lionel Richie’s “Hello” to a group of attentive cherubs.

Obviously, this is not the case.

On the Web: Elle.com

Source: agentbedhead.com

Oh, hell yes.

The very talented and stunningly English actress, Samantha Morton, has spoken up about actors who whine about their rough life and don’t appreciate the “privileged existence” of their reality:

The 30-year-old actress - who picked up a Golden Globe earlier this month for her role in TV drama Longford - is convinced Hollywood stars should be more realistic about their problems. And she’s especially scathing of those who resent wearing restricting costumes while working on period dramas.

She says, “They (actors) are moaning - but what for? They’ve got a job. It’s tough, the hours are tough, the corsets are tough. But try working in a factory for 16 hours or emptying the bins on Tottenham Court Road (in central London). Actors! They shouldn’t moan! How dare they!”

Yeah, you know exactly who she’s talking about, right? That would be the charming Keira Knightley, who is so bored with fame and whines about the “grueling schedule” of actors, yet she still manages to sign up for four period dramas in two years. Morton is spot-on, as always, with her comments, and I love it when actors each other out for legitimate bullshit.

On a more positive note, Samantha Morton gave birth to a baby girl just last week. This is her second child, and Morton and her fiancé, Harry Holm, are said to be, naturally, overjoyed.

P.S. Go read my review of Morvern Callar, starring the brilliant Miss Morton herself.

Source: agentbedhead.com

During a Manhattan press conference for Atonement, a masochistic fellow asked Keira Knightley if she would sign on for a fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean film series.

Knightley seemed to be ready for this question and had a very definitive answer. She quickly responded, with a tone of sadness and seriousness in her voice, “I can’t imagine doing another one. That was an amazing experience, really was, totally extraordinary, but I think three for me is probably enough.”

This probably means the producers of Pirates of the Caribbean won’t shell out higher salaries to entice the actors to return. Luckily for us, Keira will once again sequester herself within period dramas. Sadly, this means less Johnny Depp. Damn.

Images: Interview Magazine

Source: yeeeah.com

Keira Knightley takes off her top on the cover of next month’s Interview magazine, clad only in a pair of suspenders and black opera gloves. It’s not as hot as it sounds, because the inch and a half of fabric provided by the suspenders covers her entire breast. Not just the nipple, which gauging from this pic is about the size of a pencil eraser, but the whole freakin’ boob. She might as well be wearing a cable-knit sweater over a turtleneck. It’d be just as sexy. So would a picture of John Travolta bent over and giving the fruit-basket-turnover in a pair of assless chaps. Dream big? You bet I do, baby!

The rest of the spread:

Source: agentbedhead.com

Andrew McCarthy is all grows up from the preppy character, Blaine, he played in Pretty In Pink. McCarthy was snapped at an Atonement screening in New York City. Also in attendance were the crotchety Keira Knightley and the strikingly handsome Jason Lewis. Miss Keira, who would rather have been anywhere else than promoting her film, has admitted that her sex scenes with co-star James McAvoy were choreographed in great detail. That poor fellow.

Source

Source: www.derekhail.com

Keira Knightley recently revealed to Elle Magazine that she absolutely hates the newspapers and her friends have since banned her from reading the paper. According to the Post Chronicle,

“I’m a moody b*****d, to be honest. I’ve been banned from reading newspapers because the way they’re written angers me so much. If I want an opinion, I’ll read the opinion part of the newspaper. I do not want it when I’m trying to get the facts.

“I get incredibly angry. It really f**ks me off. See, I have to calm down about it even now!”

Anger management anyone? It’s a newspaper. Calm down. In addition, she revealed to Elle Magazine,

“God, I hate my mobile phone. It rings and then I realise that I don’t want to talk to anyone. So I always press ignore. One time I threw it into the sea, but then went, ‘Oh my God, I want to be eco-friendly but I’ve chucked a BlackBerry into the sea!’

“So I went diving into the water, which I hadn’t actually been in, because there were meant to be barracudas or something, and I sort of fished around but couldn’t find it anywhere, so I had to leave it.”

I actually totally understand Keira Knightley in this situation. I usually find myself looking for an excuse to jump into the sea filled with barracudas. You know, to show off my manliness and what not. I’m told women love a man with fish bites all over his body, so why not?

Update: I decided to move this to the top because I found the Elle Magazine scans.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Gah! The above illustrated cover of the November 2007 issue of Radar Magazine is, of course, a parody of the February 2006 (Tom Ford’s Hollywood) issue of Vanity Fair. As you can see, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have replaced Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson as the nude starlets de jour, and Rudy Giuliani has duly stepped into the ear-nibbling role that Tom Ford portrayed with such zeal.

As a result, I guess many of us won’t be having sex this weekend.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Keira Knightley is pictured at the “Atonement” premiere at the Toronto Film Festival and she still appears anorexic. While I have no idea what this “Atonement” movie is about, based on the pictures I’m inclined to think it’s a gaggle of anorexic women trying to find ways to hide food from their parents. The best part is, they never succeed.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Keira Knightley has admitted she is shocked by celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears parading arounnd like drunken sluts everyday of the week. While at the Venice Film Festival, shortly after “Atonement” received “critical acclaim” Keira Knightley revealed,

“I’m not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people

I’m not saying I don’t do that in private, but I try not to… They’re real people proving they’re sluttier than everybody else because they don’t even wear knickers.”

Of course Keira knows how to party in private. Basically, if you get Keira Knightley drunk in the privacy of her home, she’ll be running around naked with a lightsaber trying to cut you.

Source: yeeeah.com

Keira Knightley arrived at the 64th Venice International Film Festival yesterday the very picture of radiant health and vitality. It’s like staring down the human embodiment of the Fertile Crescent here. The Fertile Crescent in too-dark lipstick with greasy hair and all jutting bones and sinews and sallow skin caked with powder. On second thought, maybe not the Fertile Crescent. Maybe the alley behind the makeshift abortion stand in Kuala Lampur where all those prostitutes with leprosy died. Yeah, that sounds about right.

More of Keira not attacking Castle Grayskull after the jump