Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

David Hasselhoff drunk in London – Nice pants.

David Hasselhoff’s drunken behavior just keeps getting him in the papers, this time, in London.

Hoff was there for Simon Cowell’s birthday party, but Hoff’s party lasted days.

For starters, a source told The Sun that he was so drunk during his stay that he pissed his hotel bed. They added:

“David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive.”

Maria Weston, 44, a witness to Hoff’s behavior and a guest of the hotel, said the Baywatch star wa foul mouthed and sloppy.

“He was abusing all the staff, shouting at everyone. We were shocked – you’d think he was just some drunk, not a big star.”

After days of him drinking, Hasselhoff’s assistant became worried about him and called a doctor. Staff at the five-star St. Martins Lane Hotel had to contain David in the basement of the hotel because he was so out of control. The doctor who responded to the call, Dr. Paul Ettlinger, ended up getting hit in the face by Hasselhoff who was thrashing and acting out wildly. The incident left a bruise on Ettlinger’s forehead.

From there, the doctor then called an ambulance. Hoff was taken to Capio Nightingale Hospital to dry out. He stayed two nights in a private suite and was released yesterday.

Sad. He just cannot stop. Once he gets rolling the party is ON. And it doesn’t stop until he is physically unable to drink more. If he doesn’t stop soon he is going to die. Don’t be shocked if he does because there is only so much a body can take. Hoff needs some serious help, but he needs to help himself first.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

David Hasselhoff drunk in 2007

David Hasselhoff was admitted to a hospital Sunday night after becoming extremely drunk.

Apparently his daughter was upset by how intoxicated he was and phoned her mom. 911 was then called and David was taken to the hospital. You know, the same old routine in the Hasselhoff household.

Back in 2007 Hasselhoff’s daughter filmed him in a drunken stupor, eating food from a plate on the floor. He has been in and out of rehab numerous times.

C’mon David, get it together. At least while your daughter is living under your roof. It’s very stressfull for children of alcoholics to watch their parents in such a state. A few years back, Hayley, then 14, was hospitalized after cutting herself. It’s obvious that her father’s alcoholism has affected her deeply. A sad situation.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Just like last year, Hugh Hefner celebrated his 82nd Birthday at The Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. However, things were of a decidedly different aura this year. No attempted make-out sessions with to be found with either Paris Hilton or The Hoff. Perhaps more importantly, the Hef did not get jiggy with it either. Instead, the Hef, surrounded by his bitches, just sat on his ass.

Previously: Hugh Hefner Gets Down With His Bad Self, Hugh Hefner Is Kind Of A Dick, What A Difference Two Decades Make (The Beastie Boys)

Source: agentbedhead.com

The Daily Mail is running some excerpts from The Little Red Riders Book, listing the backstage demands of various talented or at least well-known performers. It’s pretty entertaining stuff, in spots. (Maybe not quite as entertaining as the infamous Iggy Pop concert rider, but few people can aspire to that level of greatness.) You have to skip over the stars whose requests were almost irritatingly reasonable (The Police—organic food, cough mixture; Nirvana—macaroni and cheese) to find the real gems:

• Lily Allen (presumably before she cleaned up her act) required “A bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Four bottles of champagne. Twelve packets of Monster Munch (pickled onion flavour). A puppy (for the night only)”;
• Sammy Davis, Jr., upheld the honor of the Rat Pack by insisting on “an assortment of groovy chicks”;
• Jennifer Lopez tops the ridiculous diva list by demanding the following: “White flowers. White tablecloths. White curtains. White candles. White couches. Lowwatt lightbulbs. Coffee to be stirred counter-clockwise. Skittles.” The “coffee stirred counter-clockwise” demand puts her narrowly ahead of Mariah Carey’s request for a personal attendant to dispose of her chewing gum.

The rest of the list is well worth checking out. And, to answer the inevitable question: Yes, the Hoff does require that a lifesize cardboard cutout of himself be present in his dressing room.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“When you are sick you go to the doctor. I went to the doctor. I got better. It was a short time thing and I’m feeling great!”

-David Hasselhoff on his recent relapse

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Hasselhoff in 1979

David Hasselhoff has been hospitalized after suffering a relapse.

Hoff’s publicist confirmed the news and says he is doing fine. She said,

“David had a brief relapse and immediately recognized the importance of addressing it with the assistance of his doctors. He is doing fine and will be back home in the morning.”

Source

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Other Hasselhole News:

Hasselhoff hassels the snake (CM)

Michael Knight rides again (MG)

Hasselhoff’s ex held over car crash (TPA)

Source: agentbedhead.com

John Stamos just cannot shut his damn mouth, and it’s obvious that his inner jerk would just love to burst out of the chronic “Full House” persona. In a recorded newspaper interview, Stamos talks about taking the Broadway Cabaret gig “[T]o kinda show people that I can do, ya know, more than just that guy.” Stamos then unwittingly illustrated this point by stumbling through the interview, and the next morning, he appeared on an Aussie talk show in a similar degraded state and proceeded to make rather inappropriate sexual remarks. In an attempt to explain away his behavior, Stamos has issued a statement:

“I was not drinking. I did not drink either morning. I do not have an alcohol problem. I am not David Hasselhoff. This is not a pattern.”

“Now I know that Ambien is an eight-hour sleeping pill so if you take it, you better get eight hours sleep. Do not take it at 5 in the morning. I do not take it every night, only when traveling.”

Oh sure, Stamos blames it on the Ambien that he mistakenly took at 5am, when he could have very easily taken it at 10pm, but, you see, he was busy until 5am. He was out drinking at a strip club. Bringing David Hasselhoff into this discussion seems like a real dick move. When Hasselhoff experienced his recent moment of alcohol-related controversy, he didn’t use the excuse of, “I am not Mel Gibson,” although it would have been nice to hear the Hoff use the term “Sugar Tits” in a sentence. Yet I digress.

John Stamos should have just admitted that he was out enjoying the local ladies, and yes, he was tired. Any potential awkwardness could have slipped away quite easily if Stamos had chosen to exchange defensiveness for candor sprinkled with a bit of humour. Instead, now he gives us the opportunity to watch a clip of his Cabaret performance as the highly sexualized Emcee and wonder whether this was mere typecasting:

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I know Entertainment Tonight is on in about 30 mins where I live because I only have one channel and it is usually on in the background while my fat wife eats her chips, but this video is of David Hasselhoff wasted being filmed by his daughter and it is pretty fucking funny. I just spent the day at the casino because all my friends got their welfare checks and thought they would win big so that they wouldn’t have to be on welfare anymore. I guss their investment and money making ways is the reason they are on welfare to begin with, but I never turn down a good time. I only had 15 dollars and I lost it in about 5 minutes but it was still nice to see where all of society’s retired trash end up on a thursday afternoon. It was like a fucking old folks home field trip and I tried to seduce a couple of them into giving me some money to play with in exchange for oral sex, but they weren’t having it. In the end I got kicked out for stealing an old man who was asleep at his slot machine’s bucket of quarters, but I didn’t get arrested.

Either way, watch Hasslehoff in drunken action with his daughter, at least he isn’t touching her inappropriately like you would be. Sicko.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Those of us—of you, rather; “you” is the word I was looking for—who are dateless this Valentine’s Day can take some small consolation in knowing there’s someone out there who’s even less popular. In an online poll of 5000 Australians asked to pick their fantasy partner for a romantic Valentine’s getaway, David Hasselhoff placed dead last. The top choice of the Aussies (who seem to be a pretty faithful bunch) was “my partner,? but Eva Longoria, Maria Sharapova, and Johnny Depp were all pretty popular. Considerably less popular were David Koch and Andrew O’Keefe (Australian TV hosts), not to mention “that guy on the train in the morning,? who each got one percent of the vote. That’s not much, but it’s definitely better than the Hoff’s total vote count of zero.

I don’t know about the rest of you losers, but that makes me feel a lot better. Tonight I’m going to go home and sit alone in the dark, watching Knight Rider episodes and laughing my ass off.

(Via Oh No They Didn’t.)

Source: agentbedhead.com

Teenage boys interested in exploring the mysteries of Teutonic nookie would be well advised to steer clear of the Hoff’s 16-year-old daughter Taylor Ann. When the girl began dating an older boy, her alpha-cheesemeister dad took the boy aside and gave him one simple rule: “If you hurt my daughter in any way, I will take you outside and I will cut your thing off. I will have no problem spending the rest of my life in prison.?

The Hoff also told the interviewer that he sometimes “disguises” himself by wearing goofy hats, including… well, a Goofy hat. From Disney World. With floppy ears. I really hope he was wearing that hat when he talked to his daughter’s boyfriend, because when you’re telling a guy that you’re crazy enough to chop off his dick, the Goofy hat is a fashion statement that tells the world that’s exactly how crazy you are.

Side note from phineas g. : Teh Hoff has signed on to play the flamboyant homosexual Roger DeBris in The Producers with will be playing in Vegas! Can this be happening? Really, it’s almost like a comedic dream come true. If I were to, um, dream about teh Hoff. Anyhoo, with the Hoff’s new leading role and his keenness of fondling other people’s penises its no wonder we might start to question his sexuality.

If evidence surfaces that he wants to spend the rest of his time on this spinning ball of mud in prison because he thinks the “love” scenes in Oz are hot, well there won’t be any questioning about his homoerotic fantasies now will there?

Source: agentbedhead.com

The Hoff is getting hassled more than usual lately. His divorce from Pamela Bach is turning increasingly nasty, and last week the battle went nuclear when Bach presented the court with documents stating that Hasselhoff had a history of drunken violent rages. Twisting the knife, The Hoff’s ex also claimed that when drunk he had a tendency to lose control of his sphincters. Meanwhile, Hasselhoff has also backed out of co-hosting the MTV European Video Music Awards on grounds that the show seemed excesively tacky. To be perfectly accurate, having a judge on America’s Got Talent tell you that your award show is tacky is not so much “The Hoff getting hassled? as “The Hoff delivering a majestically brutal smackdown.?

These two problems might have a single solution. Steve-O of Jackass fame, who’s walking proof that the theory of evolution is basically just wishful thinking, makes a habit of hosing down the red carpet whenever he goes to the Academy Awards. I can’t think of any awards show that deserves a warm golden shower of respect and affection more than the MTV Awards, and The Hoff might be just the man to deliver it. Considering some of the acts that have performed the last few years, a pissfest probably would class up the evening. (Warning: the “hosing down? link includes a picture of Steve-O flashing his unit that shouldn’t be viewed if you’re planning to eat this week.)

Source: agentbedhead.com

For all his cheesiness, it seems unlikely that David Hasselhoff is as much of an utter douche in the area of child support as some celebrity deadbeat dads. Still, the Hoff’s ex Pamela Bach feels he could do better. According to TMZ, she’s asking the courts to replace their current informal arrangement, under which the Hoff pays her living expenses, with a firm agreement that her ex will pony up $31,546 dollars a month in child support. That’s in addition to $45,463 in monthly spousal support.

Perhaps this sounds excessive. But Bach claims the Hoff has tried to weasel out of support by pleading poverty (a charge Hasselhoff’s representatives deny). Moreover, she claims that during their marriage Hasselhoff was running up $100,000 a month in credit card expenses without feeling the pinch. In fact, Hasselhoff once bragged to People magazine: “I could fly to the Eiffel Tower for lunch, have a croissant and come back and not worry about the price.? Which, admittedly, sounds pretty obnoxious. But it really wouldn’t take more than the above photo of the Hoff palling around with Scarlett Johansson (I’m told there’s another female in the photo, although I hadn’t really noticed) to make his ex-wife a little bitter. Not to mention arousing the hatred of every hetero male in the northern hemisphere.