Actress Brittany Murphy’s incessant demands are starting to become a problem on the set of her new movie “Across the Hall.â€? According to Page Six
Murphy has been making outrageous demands while acting “like a diva,â€? said one insider. “She’s extremely difficult. She’s so hot and cold, you never know.â€? Murphy insists on having diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts removed… “every hour. It’s painstaking – her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one.â€?
I also knew a guy who regularly demanded his sandwiches be cut at 45 degree angles with the crusts removed. A real tyrant, that guy. He also insisted we only watch The Wiggles during prime time and would scream like a banshee if you tried to check the scores between “Farmer Brownâ€? and “Romp Bomp A Stomp.â€? Needless to say, we sold him to to a band of wandering gypsies for donkey and a bag of magical beans. Not that you could get that much for Brittany Murphy. Maybe if you threw in the donkey.
Brittany as Stevie Nicks leaving the Max Azria after party Feb 4th:
So Charlize Theron won a Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year award from Harvard Theatre troupe and she seems to have drank a little too much at the ceremony and is acting a fool and I find it hot. I guess what it all comes down to is that I never went to the circus growing up and have always felt like I messed up so I have a fetish for girls who don’t take themselves too seriously and dress like clowns. It’s like the time I was all about the girl who spray painted herself gold and stood still all day on the street corner pretending to be a statue who would break into juggle every time someone would throw change in her bucket…..
I think the amazing thing in all this is that Harvard has enough power to honor someone with an award and have them actually show up to accept because if I set up an award system on this site I can guarantee that none of the winners would come to the ceremony to accept the award. I guess that has something to do with not being Harvard but may also have to do with having the ceremony in my bathroom while taking a shower, but that’s just because it’s the only place I get alone time in my shitty one room apartment. It’s really where all the magic happens. My naked fat body on my imaginary stage talking to the mirror…I should set up a webcam in that shit and let you in on the fun. Homo.
So maybe saying that Britney isn’t crazy and just a typical hormonal girl on her period having a hard time because the court took her kids and is playing it up for the media for the last year because it’s more entertaining than sitting on her couch watching movies and laying by the pool bored, was a little pre-mature because it turns out that Britney Spears has been committed by her manager and parents at the request of her psychiatrist who claims she hasn’t slept since Saturday, which I don’t think is a big deal, provided she was on crystal meth and listening to dance music, because that shit is called a rave. They shouldn’t have committed Britney, they should have just given her a pacifiers, some glow sticks and Vicks Vaporub. I guess that’s why she was spending so much time at the dance studio.
Either way, there’s no reports that she tried to kill herself, there’s no reports of how long she’s in the tank for, the only thing I know is that I need more friends like Britney because the crazy people i know just scream insanities at me about how the communists are coming to get us and how they are building a lead suit to protect themselves from the radiation as they wrap aluminum foil around their heads and that kind of paranoid crazy is pretty fucking boring because it’s not as upbeat as a a bipolar person in a manic phase that feels like one big party until they crash and that’s when you find someone else to hang out with because no one wants to hangout with a downer who sleeps all day and wants to die. It’s one of those “call me when you’re manic again” situations….
I am sick as fuck with some kind of flu and spend that last 3 nights curled up in a ball trying to break the fucking fever. My brain is fucked and just posting this is painful enough for me. But I guess I have no choice but to do it, so if it sucks harder than I usually do, blame my flu.
I have been avoiding Britney Spears stories as much as I can because everyone is playing her out with all her emotional issues, mental issues, baby issues and her ex-husband issues and I really don’t give a fuck about any of that. What I do give a fuck about is seeing her living out this wreck of a life in as little clothes as possible because that’s kinda what I am into. I don’t care if a bitch is crazy or not, I just care whether she’s naked or not. So I’ve decided to end the Britney boycott and bring the goods because she’s making all the right moves as far as I’m concerned.
Here are pictures of Britney in a bra and I figure that’s newsworthy enough to post because I pride myself on bringing really newsworthy stories by always posting irrelevant shit and Britney is usually never wearing a bra and usually shows off her saggy tits with her nipples aiming to the ground so this could be the beginning of the end with some kind of reformed Britney by putting her bra back on….next thing you know she’ll be in the park playing with her babies like a normal family and that’s where all the fun ends for us.s
BONUS – Britney Flashing Her Tits at the Dance Studio in Some Stalker Video
Here are some playful Britney pics, because I like to think of crazy people as playful because in their insanity they are always smiling and having a good time while laughing hysterically, when the assholes I see on the street who are late for work and seemingly normal on the surface with their shitty standard suburban lives are always pissed off at the world and hate their lives as much as they hate their wives because the only happy they know is when their paycheck roles in and they express that joy by pretending to be excited when talking to their clients with fake happy business talk like you learn when you’re a telemarketer, which you probably are, because that’s all I expect out of you.
When I worked in an office for about a minute before being fired for drinking on the job, I would always go out on my breaks for smokes with crazed homeless people to get some taste of reality. I remember one immaciated guy who was always fucking drunk who would try to sell people dieting tips for a dollar, for those fat women who paid him for his secret, he’d just tell them to stop eating because they were fat and run off with their money to buy booze. It’s that kind of honesty that I respect
A “scantily clad” Britney Spears parked outside a Beverly Hills elementary school last week — chain-smoking and talking to herself — and told a fellow parent she was there to pick up her children. No, wait — somebody else’s children. Uh, her lawyer’s children. She then of course left with no children. It’s Britney, bitch! The parent told Us Weekly
“She was just rambling and confused. She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’ All I could think was, Who in their right mind would let her pick up their kids? [Before she drove off without any children, she told me] ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”
You half-expect a passel of stray cats to come crawling out from the center consul and underneath the seats and while she’s talking to you. Maybe a couple peering out from the folds of her muumuu and two or three eyeballing you from the headrests. She’d call them all “my preciouses” and let them lick her teeth while she’s talking and her eyes would be all unfocused and she’d screech a lot at nothing and wring her hands and moan, like a real-life version of the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons. Only with saggier tits and a fake British accent.
In case you missed it in the quickies, Britney at Petco yesterday:
Here is Britney Spears Covering All That She Wants by Ace of Bass and I think she’s just fuckin’ with all of us and all this crazy is just a big practical joke to get back at us for ruining her marriage and she’s not really crazy.
I have a thing for crazy girls and I really don’t think Britney is half as bad as the girls I’ve met in my life. She’s not screaming at her reflection in the window or jumping in front of traffic or convulsing on the street with her crackwhore vagina exposed while choking on her overdosing tongue, she’s only half that nuts so that makes her pretty tame. People just think she’s insane because people live boring fucking lives. Sure she’s a little dirty and inconsistent and incoherent, maybe a little emotionally unstable.
She’s really got nothing better to do with her time, her career peaked at the age of 20, she has a ton of money and her kids were taken away from her….so she’s pretty much retired at 25 with an empty nest and what she’s into seems a lot more fun than waking up at 6 am, making muffins for the Mrs Jones the widow down the street with MS from your craft group, then taking a nap, waking up to play bridge with her bridge club with other retirees, having dinner at 5:30 then falling asleep at 9 after watching Murder She Wrote re-runs, because they just don’t make TV like they used to.
If anything, K-Fed is the psychopath opportunist who ruined her for his own benefit. He was in it for the money, he may care about the kids a lot than she does but that’s just because they are his meal ticket.
I don’t understand the shit Britney’s doing, but at least she’s a go-getter and realizes that since she lost those 2 first kids she just has to make new ones. They were just practice babies, like the time I lost my virginity to a chick in a wheel chair and kept going back for more because i figured the skills learnt would come in handy for a vagina that counts and for the record she never knew that I was fuckin her ass most of the time, because she couldn’t feel anything!
Here are some bonus pics of her shopping yesterday with her dirty shirt and dirty paparazzi boyfriend who also probably feels like he won the lottery….
Another Bonus - K-Fed on One Tree Hill, a Show I Will Never Watch Because I have a Penis That Likes Vagina
It seems the new British accentBritney Spears has been sporting belongs to “British Girl,” one of the many personalties setting up shop inside her mind. Cheerio! According to TMZ
Britney has multiple personalities, including, as people in her life call it, “the British girl.” We’re told when Spears loses the British personality, she absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality. Brit has a number of other identities — “the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl,” and on and on. Sources say Britney had become the British girl the day she didn’t show for her deposition and has no recollection of it.
Lucky for her, 200 photographers caught every damn second of what happened the day of the hearing, so maybe Weepy Girl can browse some of those photos online and watch just how British Girl wiped her ass with the rights to her children and then went out for a late lunch. Also, someone might want to tell Incoherent Girl that British Girl started her period (NSFW) last night, and the toilet paper wadded up inside her pantyhose isn’t quite doing the trick. Now, if I remember what happens at the end of “Sybil,” we just wait for Retarded Girl and Meth Rage Girl to get into fistfight after Drunk Girl mistakes a bottle of nitroglycerin for vodka and then let science do its stuff. It’s what writers call a “classic denouement,” from the French for “wear a poncho.”
The Church of Scientology is going on the legal offensive after video of Tom Cruise ranting about saving the world through Scientology made its way online, claiming the footage was stolen from their website and threatening to sue anybody who posts it (see the letter they sent Gawker Media after the jump). I personally give it about two hours before they pull the above footage of him talking to and saluting L. Ron Hubbard’s portrait, because this new footage sure isn’t going to help Tommy in his attempts to resurrect what’s left of his career and marketability. The Daily Mail says
[Cruise] has had trouble sleeping and been tearful at times [because he] is entrenched in a crisis… spearheaded by this week’s leaked internet video, on top of the stress caused by the publication of a scandal-drenched biography and his continually misfiring career.
But it is perhaps even harder for him to live down the humiliation of being dumped from a producing deal with Paramount by media mogul Sumner Redstone - because women, including Redstone’s wife, Paula, found him creepy. “He turned off all women and a lot of men,” Redstone said. “Paula and women everywhere had come to hate him.”
If I understand this correctly — and I’m pretty sure I do — you could have a Nazi Klansman child pornographer and Tom Cruise vying for the same role in a movie and there’s 99% chance that the studio would go with the Jew-hating pedophile in Grand Wizard costume. I mean, you can at least relate to that kind of crazy. It’s been around for a couple thousand years. But volcanoes full of hydrogen bombs and operating thetans and past lives and secret levels, well, that doesn’t make any goddamned sense. I’m pretty sure that’s why they invented electroshock therapy and straight jackets in the first place.
Katie arriving at The Late Show With David Letterman, plus some vintage crazy Tom Cruise and after the jump:
The Church of Scientology is going on the legal offensive after video of Tom Cruise ranting about saving the world through Scientology made its way online, claiming the footage was stolen from their website and threatening to sue anybody who posts it (see the letter they sent Gawker Media after the jump). I personally give it about two hours before they pull the above footage of him talking to and saluting L. Ron Hubbard’s portrait, because this new footage sure isn’t going to help Tommy in his attempts to resurrect what’s left of his career and marketability. The Daily Mail says
[Cruise] has had trouble sleeping and been tearful at times [because he] is entrenched in a crisis… spearheaded by this week’s leaked internet video, on top of the stress caused by the publication of a scandal-drenched biography and his continually misfiring career.
But it is perhaps even harder for him to live down the humiliation of being dumped from a producing deal with Paramount by media mogul Sumner Redstone - because women, including Redstone’s wife, Paula, found him creepy. “He turned off all women and a lot of men,” Redstone said. “Paula and women everywhere had come to hate him.”
If I understand this correctly — and I’m pretty sure I do — you could have a Nazi Klansman child pornographer and Tom Cruise vying for the same role in a movie and there’s 99% chance that the studio would go with the Jew-hating pedophile in Grand Wizard costume. I mean, you can at least relate to that kind of crazy. It’s been around for a couple thousand years. But volcanoes full of hydrogen bombs and operating thetans and past lives and secret levels, well, that doesn’t make any goddamned sense. I’m pretty sure that’s why they invented electroshock therapy and straight jackets in the first place.
Katie arriving at The Late Show With David Letterman, plus some vintage crazy Tom Cruise and after the jump:
I haven’t been following the Britney Spears story at all because I honestly don’t give a fuck. I am too self absorbed and I find the shit pretty fucking boring because it’s got nothin to do with me. I don’t really care that she’s completely insane or that she’s lost her kids and has been skipping court dates. I guess it’s sad that she’s probably goin to end up killing herself or institutionalized and that someone like her isn’t really safe to have on the streets and that her life is so fucking chaotic and intense when it could have been so relaxed and retired by 23 because she fucked the wrong dude who took her for a ride and ruined her making it like a scene from a really bad movie, all while I sit at my computer in my soiled underwear eating a muffin.
Either way, I heard she’s banging a paparazzi and I am jealous of him, because I’d want to be on the front lines of this shit but that’s just because I think my life is dull and I think it’d be fun. I always had a thing for vulnerable girls, they are easy to win over and K-Fed again and it seems like homie may have already hooked that up, because she was seen out buying a pregnancy test.
I like the way she thinks, if the motherfuckers won’t let her have her babies, she’ll just make herself some more.They can’t stop her tattered womb from doing what it’s supposed to do and that’s the kind of ambition you need to become a success. You don’t take no for an answer, you keep going back to the studio til you find that hit, even if it means fucking an immigrant with a camera to make it happen.
It reminds me of the time girl refused to go on a date with me, so I just climbed her fire escape, crawled into her room and stole all her dirty panties…because let’s face it, that’s all I really wanted her for…and I just wouldn’t take no for an answer….so in a Lot of ways I am like Britney Spears and that’s pretty exciting. Want to see me dance?
Tom Cruise’s acceptance speech for the Scientologist IAS Freedom Medal of Valor in 2006 has made its way online, and is of course being yanked as fast as it’s put up, probably because the highlights include him saying:
A Scientologist… has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions.
Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident… you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.
We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions.
We can rehabilitate criminals.
I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and woolly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast.
Coincidentally, more details are being leaked from Andrew Morton’s unauthorized biography that somehow make Tom sound even more fucking insane than he does in the above video clip. Like this little tidbit, via Us Weekly
Before his whirlwind romance with Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise tried wooing Jennifer Garner. In Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star’s voice mail in 2004 asking “if she knew what freedom was,” but his advances were rebuffed.
What the hell kind of pickup line is that? That’s goddamn terrifying. He might as well have left a message saying “I once killed a drifter to get an erection” or “I like to see how close I can swing a fireplace poker to your head without bashing your skull in while you’re sleeping.” That kind of talk usually doesn’t get you anything but a trip to police station and a restraining order.
