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Hookers galore!

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A couple months ago I told you about Courtenay Semel’s drunken altercation with a security guard in Las Vegas that ended up with her arrest.

(In case you’ve already forgotten, Semel is the daughter of former Yahoo! CEO, Terry Semel, and currently the girlfriend of Tila Tequila.)

Back in August, Semel was arrested after smacking Pure nightclub security guard, Jaroslaw Jarczok, in the back of the head while exiting the club. It was around 4 a.m. and according to Jarczok she was “quite intoxicated due to alcohol and/or chemical or other substances.”

He eventually detained her with handcuffs, which only led to a foul mouthed tirade against him. In the midst of it all, Courtenay had to remind him of who he was dealing with. She screamed at him,

“Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot? Google me, you dumb f**k.”

In a lawsuit filed yesterday in L.A. County Court, Jarczok claims he’s been humiliated and “anxious about receiving harassing comments by friends.”

Oh yeah? Well wait til they catch wind of you suing her! Then you’re really going to be butt of all your friends jokes, you dumbass. C’mon dude, we all know you make $9 an hour to bounce at a club and the extra cash would sure be fun to spend, wouldn’t it?

Gawd, I hate people who are sue happy. I hope his friends are making this
big, dumb bastard’s life hell.

Jarcozk is requesting unspecified damages…which means he will settle out of court for a lump sum.

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Here’s a TMZ video of a bunch of paparazzi stupidly falling all over themselves to get a shot at Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson.

One of them asks Lindsay about Courtenay Semel and she insists, “It’s not true.”

Meanwhile, the folks over at Buzznet are saying that Courtenay’s supposed new love interest, Tila Tequila, and her aren’t really together, they’re just putting a show on for publicity.

The 60 photos and accompanying video reveal a lot of skin, a bit of lover’s playfulness and a complete lack of spur-of-the-moment authenticity. It’s as if stunted self-promoters Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt had been transformed into a pair of bikini-clad women who aren’t really that into one another.

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Now that everyone knows about Courtenay Semel and Lindsay Lohan being lovers, for some reason we care about what this butterfaced lesbian is doing.

Last night in Vegas, Courtenay, who is now Tila Tequila’s main squeeze, got a little out of hand.

She apparently got wasted and had it out for a security guard at Pure nightclub, inside Caesar’s Palace. On her way out of the club (and I am not sure if she left voluntarily or was asked to leave) she smacked him in the back of the head. That was a big ol’ Vegas no-no, and the bitch was detained by security officers who called the police. But unfortunately for Semel, the cops had more important things to do and didn’t get there for another four hours! I’m sure she was nothing but sweet and kind during all that time. Heh.

Finally, when the police arrived they issued her a citation for battery. But she’s a rich bitch (thanks to daddy) and I’m sure it ain’t no thang.

I wonder if Courtenay will be the next crazy Lindsay or something. Coked out, pantyless and crashing cars.. All the crazy party girls in Tinseltown have mellowed. We need some new trainwrecks to poke sticks at!

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Is it just me, or does Courtenay Semel look like an odd Simpson’s character?

I think it’s her lack of a chin and the overbite that does it. I don’t get why all the young Hollywood lesbians want to sink their teeth into that, but, eh, whatever.

Oh, STOP THE PRESSES! Forget the Simpson’s character bit, it just clicked. I know who it is she reminds me of now – HA! Jen from The Dark Crystal! (And yes, I had to look up the character’s name.)

Kourtney Kardashian, who I think is much cuter than her big assed sister, Kim, usually looks fab, but I’m not diggin’ on this getup. All the attention is at her waist and it makes her look bloated. But bitch’s extensions are flawless and I would kill for that handbag..

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News of the World is reporting that Tila Tequila’s new girlfriend, Courtenay Semel, is actually the ex-lover of Lindsay Lohan.

Apparently Courtenay is miffed that Samantha won out in a lesbian love triangle that involved Lohan.  She is bitter because of all the media attention that Sam and Lindsay get. When she was with the actress Lohan insisted on keeping the relationship quiet.

Courtenay, 25, apparently told a friend,

“Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart.  At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies.  But then Samantha came on to the scene and I was dropped.”

The friend also says that Courtenay told her that Lindsay slept with a ton of guys to hide her lesbian tendencies, and did lots of drugs to help her cope with the pressures of her identity crisis.  She and Courtenay would do lines of coke all night long then head home and have sex.

But once Lindsay met Samantha in January ‘07, the relationship between Courtenay and Lindsay withered.

The friend explained, “Back then Samantha and Lindsay didn’t have a physical relationship. She once said, ‘Samantha’s the father I never had’  Apparently Samantha acted in a ‘paternal’ way towards her, giving her advice and cuddles.”

While Lindsay was in rehab both women visited her.

“By now Lindsay was sending ‘I love you’ notes to Samantha and signing them ‘Lindsay Ronson’ but telling Courtenay she loved her too.”

Courtenay and Lindsay rented house together in Beverly Hills but the couple’s relationship continued to deteriorate.

“Lindsay brought men back,” the friend explained. “Courtenay would throw fits of rage, writing her hundreds of angry e-mails from another room in the house.  The sexual attraction between them was electric though and they’d still kiss and make up.”

Eventually Courtenay moved out, tired of competing with the men Lindsay was bringing home.  Even though she is now involved with MySpace quasi-celeb, Tila Tequila, her friend adds that she is hurt by media reports of Linds and Sam.

“Courtenay still can’t understand how Lindsay is now so open with Samantha.  Every time she sees a picture of them together it kills her.”