Source: agentbedhead.com

To illustrate the worsening situation, here is a video of Britney dancing to one of the tracks on her upcoming album.

Many women actually lose weight dramatically after they have a child, due to the increased energy production that breastfeeding requires and all the extra work involved in taking care of another human being. In terms of caloric intake, Miss Spears must be going beyond the call of motherly duty. According to various sources, Brit’s eating has functioned as a coping mechanism for being married to the world’s biggest moocher, who also reportedly makes pig noises when she eats. What a prick. She should just divorce him, since the prenup only guarantees him a millionish or so.

Source: www.derekhail.com

[tag]Britney Spears[/tag] needs help. Psychiatric help? No, help from her mother Lynne Spears. After the traumatic event of [tag]Sean Preston[/tag] diving off of his high chair into the ground, Britney needs help. She needs support from her mother. A source told Britains Daily Star, “Britney needs her mum more than ever. The events of the week have really scared her.”

What I don’t understand is, if it was so scarring how come you waited nearly a week to take him to the hospital? More importantly, are you sure Sean didn’t jump off the high chair willingly? Maybe he was running for your car keys Britney after you taught him how to drive. He wanted to go pick up some beer.

Source

Source: www.derekhail.com

Above is a collage of Britney Spears at her worst that we created. If you think you’ve got a better caption for any of the photos, drop us a comment. Click on the image to view the enlarged version.

[tag]Britney Spears[/tag] has fallen off. The one time pop princess was once rated #1 in 2004. Now she isn’t even in the top 100. Editor for Britain’s FHM, Ross Brown, was quoted as saying,

A couple of years ago FHM readers couldn’t get enough of Britney, and they unanimously agreed that she was by far the sexiest woman on the planet.

Britney’s sex appeal has fallen faster than a broken elevator. Spears needs an extra 20,000 votes just to break into the top 100. Brown went on to say,

I can only guess that a raft of less-than-flattering photographs and her general disappearance from our TVs and radios have left readers under the impression that Britney’s lost her sex appeal.

Britain should be so lucky. We see her all the time. She is usually shopping for [tag]K-fed[/tag], eating, teaching her child to drive, or stepping on needles.

Continue Reading… Derek Hail.com

Source , Picture Sources: WWTDD, DLISTED

Source: agentbedhead.com

Thomas Dolby be pissed off at Kevin Federline fo samplin’ da dope hook from tha dude’s 1983 hit, “Tha byatch Blinded Me With Science,” without tha dude’s express permission via license.

“I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy. You can’t just take a very well-known piece of music and add your own vitriolic rap over the top of it and get away with it,” Dolby told MTV News on Wednesday (April 5). “If anybody’s going to sing nasty lyrics over my music, it’s going to be me.”

Now that’s somethin’ I’d like to hear, man. At any rate, KFed used Dolby’s anthem to forge tha dude’s own crappy derivative work fo profit n’ shit. Naw fair use exception can be pulled out of dis booty-rhythm monstrosity, know what I’m sayin’? KFed’s transformations didn’t renda da song into a satiric rap or even a lame attempt at parody, know what I’m sayin’? Instead, dis wuz pure white trash, money-grubbin’ gangsta.

Federline’s management (read: Britney Spears) had naw comment on Dolby’s statements, but da song has mysteriously disppeared from KFed’s MySpace page, know what I’m sayin’?

See, Debbie Schlussel? That’s a copyright violation n’ shit. This be not.

UPDATE: Yo man. Thomas Dolby has a blog, and it’s da shiznit. Yips to Homeslice Stev-o.

Source: yeeeah.com

You probably heard of the pro-life sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth that sparked controversy amongst pro-life supporters who say it’s degrading for their movement. Because I couldn’t care less and because I like to upset people (remember I’m a pirate), I decided to post the backside picture you didn’t really want to see.

Britney Spears Giving Birth - Backside Picture

Source: www.derekhail.com

[tag]Britney Spears[/tag] is set to make a comeback sometime this decade. After deciding to flush her career down the toilet by marrying [tag]Kevin Federline[/tag] and producing offspring, the Pop Princess is eager to make a return to the music world. She was quoted as saying,

I belong out there. There’s a huge lull.

I can’t wait till her Cd comes out. There is something special about them. The way they make your desk perfectly leveled, fantastic.

In regards to the pop music of today, Spears had this to say,

I haven’t seen anybody out there who has had a performance where I’m like, ‘That’s f*****g awesome!’

She’s right. I haven’t seen anything in the pop world that has NASCAR, incest, or midgets.

Source

Source: agentbedhead.com

Hey y’all! I just want to clear up some of those false tabloid stories. AGAIN. Like it’s all about me being preggers again. I just wanna say that in the first place, in order to get pregnant, a married couple has to be having that sexual intercourse stuff. Secondly, would a pregnant Southern lady such as myself really be drinking Cosmos if she was in a delicate state?

Okay, so maybe I just let the cat outta the bag that me and that BIG FUCKING LOSER Kevin are havin’ some troubles. Maybe those false tabloids aren’t so false about that little detail. But I’m HAPPY, you hear that, Kevin? I’ve never been happier, and now I got me a baby boy who’s gonna love me forevah no matter what. No matter if I get fat, or if I whine, or if I call him a BIG POT-SMOKING LOSER, Sean Preston will always love his momma no matter what.

I really do look awfully happy in this picture, don’t I? Brad Pitt makes me all hott and stuff kinda like that it used to be with that one Justin guy whose real name I HAVE FORGOTTEN. Seriously y’all, I’m just SO happy to be SO BUSY with getting my singing career started again and with MY BABY who looks JUST LIKE ME THANK GOD. I’m just so happy finally being me and what they say about child stars is SO true that we never really get to develop our own identity and stuff and that’s what I’m doing and that’s like really hard, y’all. Isn’t that great?

So I don’t know about me and Brad Pitt. Do we make a cute couple, y’all? If I divorce THAT BIG STUPID KEVIN then maybe Brad would adopt my little orphan and my THIRD marriage would be happy. I just wanna be happy is that so much to ask? CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME BRAD PITT PLEASE!

Source: yeeeah.com

Page Six reports that Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline love little people:

At Federline’s birthday last week at Tao in Las Vegas, Spears had two female midgets carry in his birthday cake. One night later, the couple was back at Tao for a special performance arranged by Spears. A Cher impersonator sang “If I Could Turn Back Time” before “she” was joined by a midget Sonny Bono impersonator, and they both sang “I Got You Babe.” The lovebirds “partied into the wee hours of the morning with Cristal, Jack Daniel’s, etc.,” said our spy.

It looks like a scene from “Willow” to me. The sorcerer who bewitched Britney and made her fall in love with such an idiot must be very powerful.

Source

Source: agentbedhead.com

Kevin Federline has chopped off his greasy cornrows and donated them to cancer patients. Little does he know that much of what gets donated to charity gets scrapped for its poor quality, and I’m thinking that his nasty tendrils fit the no-quality bill. Ahem.

Moving on to more KFed news, he’s released another EXCLUSIVE KFED TRACK, which you really should listen to just for entertainment’s sake. Just because I’m the adventurous type, Agent Bedhead has taken the sooper seekrit plunge into KFed hell just to excerpt these lyrics for my lurkers:

“This is the real shit.
I throw you a curveball, fool.
Y’all mother fuckers are strikin out right now.

Insert indesciperable homeboy whitey lyrics.

You magazine motherfuckers too can all go kiss a dick.
US Weekly. I’ll shout every one of you bitches out.
All your shit is fake.
I love my kids, motherfuckers.
I love my wife too.
You know what you can do?
Heh heh.
Grab your socks.
HA HA HA!”

Please notice that he absolutely subjected Thomas Dolby’s She Blinded Me With Science! to death by sampling. No longer does that song remain sweet poetry in motion. Damn you, KFed!

Source: yeeeah.com

Is that the Fat Women’s Trailer Park Club or the Pregnant Women’s Cheetos Support Group? Only time will tell…

A belly pic after the jump.

Source: yeeeah.com

Britney Spears tries to use voodoo magic to prevent hubby Kevin Federline from releasing his shitty rap album. I’m afraid it’s too late, Britney.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Don’t buy it because it’s good, because I’m sure that it will be just horrendous. Instead, make that purchase to avoid certain pictorial hell when he launches his alternate career as a stripper.

As such, our favourite unwashed freak has been doing double duty career prep. Mistah DaSchnizzle insists that in addition to daily rapping sessions at the recording studio, he’s been working out two hours per day at the gym. It shows, right?