The man that Britney Spears married in a Las Vegas chapel is sitting in a jail cell at this very moment.

As part of his punishment for a DUI back in 2006, Jason Alexander, 27, was ordered by the courts to attend an alcohol education class and visit a county morgue.

He ended up blowing off the morgue appointment - twice - and finally the judge threw the book at him.

Alexander was detained and is being held in a Van Nuys jail until December 9th.

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No, I am not going to gush over it, I am tired of covering Britney and her ‘Circus’ album.

Even though this is the first time I have seen it I feel like I’ve watched it already.

I am Spears’d out, y’all!

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Kevin Federline was doomed to be picked apart once he hooked up with the most famous pop star in the world.

The wife-beaters, smoking weed while on set, his horrible single, “Popozao,” he made it easy, almost second nature, to make him the butt of a joke.

Awhh, the good ol’ days…before there were 10 million freaking gossip blogs out there. *sigh*

But a few years have gone by and well, K-Fed doesn’t seem like such a douche anymore.

He’s on the cover of this week’s People magazine with the age-old tabloid headline, “My Side of the Story”. Inside he tells of his marriage to Britney, how it ended and raising two children together.

Do you remember when you first met Britney?

I met her at a club in Hollywood, Joseph’s. Our eyes met and that was it. We just hit it off right away. I learned real fast how much of a whirlwind the press and everything was.

What are your happiest memories of the marriage?

Well, getting married. I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question.

What went wrong?

It’s hard enough to be in a marriage, and then have a kid, then kids, it changes everything. For me, I’d become more concerned with my children. Not that I ignored Britney, but my kids are always most important … I mean, we were having complications. I didn’t give her an ultimatum, but I was trying to work stuff out with her, and she didn’t even talk to me or anything and went behind my back and filed [for divorce]. [I was] completely blindsided.

A lot of people assumed you fought for custody of the kids because of money.

My first question to [my lawyer] was, “Am I ever going to be able to see my children?” I told him that I would spend every last dime that I had to make sure that my children are okay. That’s all that mattered. I didn’t know how much power Britney had. That really scared me.

How did you react in January when Britney locked herself in the bathroom with Jayden and was later taken to the hospital on a gurney?

That whole night is a blur. You want to talk about one of my lowest points of depression, that was probably one of them. I was very, very worried for her ’cause I care about her. That’s the mother of my children. Just because I’m not in love with her doesn’t mean that I don’t love her. I’m definitely rooting for her. There’s nothing more that I want than for her to be in the best health and doing what she loves to do.

Are things getting better?

Oh, man, it’s totally turning around. It works out that [the kids] get to see her. There’s structure over there, there’s structure at my house. We’re trying to keep the same type of schedule. It doesn’t have to be completely perfect, but the foundation is there.

Below: Just for fun. It’s Peanut Butter Federline, bitches!

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After an extremely long day of performing on Good Morning America, promoting her new album and lighting the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, Britney was ready to unwind and celebrate her 27th birthday.

She celebrated her biggest birthday yet at Club Tenjune in New York.

Brit wore a posh low-cut pewter colored cocktail dress, but struggled to keep her bosom in check. The singer was frequently adjusting straps and tugging at the dress to keep the “twins” covered.

But still, a nipple did manage to slip out.

Britney’s funbags have minds of their own - and ‘lefty’ decided to catch a glimpse of all the excitement at one point.

Despite the wardrobe malfunction, Britney looked damn good. She ditched her usual ratty extensions and opted for a swept up hairstyle which framed her face and accented her flawless makeup.

See the nip slip below.

Below: Britney warms up in a winter coat at the Christmas tree lighting.

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