Source: yeeeah.com

Boy, I don’t know about you, but I suddenly have a hankerin’ for cassava melons. And beef tips. Big, pink, puffy beef tips. Maybe it’s just one of those “sympathy” cravings that you catch from being around pregnant people. That totally explains all the uncontrollable gas and mood swings today!

More of Lindsay Lohan flexing the ol’ “acting muscle” (re: boob) on the set of Labor Pains:

Source: agentbedhead.com

Just like last year, Hugh Hefner celebrated his 82nd Birthday at The Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. However, things were of a decidedly different aura this year. No attempted make-out sessions with to be found with either Paris Hilton or The Hoff. Perhaps more importantly, the Hef did not get jiggy with it either. Instead, the Hef, surrounded by his bitches, just sat on his ass.

Previously: Hugh Hefner Gets Down With His Bad Self, Hugh Hefner Is Kind Of A Dick, What A Difference Two Decades Make (The Beastie Boys)

Source: agentbedhead.com

According to agency legend, Victoria Beckham, mistress of impersonal communications, was given instructions to head to the warming room and wait for the target. To our dismay, Agent Posh actually mistook these orders and drove to the nearest Target™ store for some shopping. Agent Posh, with casuals at every turn, never realized that her identity was quite possibly compromised, especially in regard to her notoriously fake assets.

The pattern of Agent Posh was highly erratic and included standing in the hair products aisle in search of FINESSE whilst asking male casuals if they would fancy a swallow. Later, Agent Posh openly asked a staff member how to locate the aisle for stuffed moles and rabbits, and during this inquiry, one of her concealment devices veered to the left due to its embarrassing manufacturing defect.

As luck would have it, Agent Posh’s clandestine operations were never officially compromised, for the watcher team took her for mere window dressing.

Next boob time, same boob channel. Previous episodes follow . . .

• Posh and Her Boobies Take Paris
• Posh Embarks On Operation Unilateral Covert Boobies
• Victoria Beckham and Her Nipples Will Destroy Us All
• Posh Busts Into America
• Victoria Beckham’s Boobs On Schedule To Demolish United States

Images: Celebutopia

Source: agentbedhead.com

Agent Provocateur certainly doesn’t believe in long-term relationships. After loving and leaving the likes of Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kate Moss, and Kylie Minogue (slightly NSFW video), Agent Provocateur has settled upon Lily Allen and signed the cheeky singer for a six-figure sum. This move by AP must certainly be a result of the Gyllenhaal backlash, and the lingerie company has certainly gone for the direct opposite to model their goods.

Of course, Lily has recently gone from a plus-sized 14 to a more desirable 8, an accomplishment for which she partially credits the effects of hypnosis. She does look great overall, but c’mon . . . check out these calves:

Maybe AP will stray away from their usual format of long-legged photo spreads. To her credit, Lily brings her bona fide third nipple to the mix, so perhaps all is not lost.

Video of Lily’s aforementioned third nipple below the fold:

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Source: agentbedhead.com

Gah! The above illustrated cover of the November 2007 issue of Radar Magazine is, of course, a parody of the February 2006 (Tom Ford’s Hollywood) issue of Vanity Fair. As you can see, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have replaced Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson as the nude starlets de jour, and Rudy Giuliani has duly stepped into the ear-nibbling role that Tom Ford portrayed with such zeal.

As a result, I guess many of us won’t be having sex this weekend.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Forget the Louvre and Eiffel Tower. Victoria Beckham is now the official tourist attraction of Paris, France.

Just. Once. Smile. Find the appropriate backing track here.

Images From Hollywood Tuna

Source: agentbedhead.com

After catching sight of this new poster over at Cinematical, I’m puzzled as to its ultimate purpose: (a) promotion for Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman’s upcoming film, The Other Boleyn Girl, or (b) celebrity endorsement for push-up bras. Perhaps tweaking this poster would be an amusing endeavor, but it’s just not worth it when my copy of Photoshop is otherwise occupied. Yeah, don’t ask.

Source: agentbedhead.com

London’s Sketch nightclub was home to a party hosted by Playboy magazine, and the C-listers turned out in full slut regalia. The ensemble of Kimberly Stewart caused her boobs — particularly, the right one — to look pretty damn painful. Although the daughter of Rod Stewart has had her breast implants taken out (and famously gifted them to Jack Osbourne), a push-up bra is definitely in use here. Ouch.

On the other hand, Lindsay Lohan’s ex, Calum Best, finally looks like he’s found his comfort zone in a crappy tee shirt, well-worn jeans, and a Playboy bunny sandwich.

Source

See also Hugh Hefner Gets Down With His Bad Self

Source: agentbedhead.com

Things look kinda funky at the moment . . . we’re doing a wordpress upgrade presently, and I still gotta change some theme code.

Now, aren’t y’all glad that I’m using AB as the proverbial guinea pig, rather than anyone else’s blog?

UPDATE: Methinks we’re fixed . . . except for the fact that I filed this post under “boobies.” My apologies to MacStansbury.

To anyone else wanting to upgrade your Wordpress to Version 2.3, I would recommend waiting until the next incremental release or until some specific upgrade documentation is published. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and like using curse words, just consider yourself forewarned. Fortunately, about half of my vocabulary is made up of curse words, so we’re rolling.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Katie “Jordan” Price, that nitwit British lad mag model whose cup size falls somewhere in the part of the alphabet she hasn’t learned yet, is getting bored with life as a wife and mommy. The 29-year-old mother of three misses her old partying lifestyle, and the usual anonymous source says she’s worried about losing whatever sex appeal she once had. So Katie, who once shopped details of her husband’s willy to the Sun, is trying to force herself back into the public eye the only way she knows how—the desperate, classless, tone-deaf way.

According to Katie, she’s really just a simple, old fashioned girl when it comes to sex. It’s her husband Peter (who must be getting awfully tired of seeing tabloid stories about his unit and his sexual preferences) who’s into wild, kinky stuff:

Pete is the sicko, not me. I’m an extremist. Have you seen the film Hostel? Our sex life is like that.

Does this woman even know what “extremist” means? More to the point, did she ever see Hostel? It was a disgusting movie about psychotic surgical mutilation and torture, not naughty S&M games. Of course, maybe Peter really does get off on surgery in the bedroom. If so, there’s always hope that one night he might replace her implants with something a little less preposterous in the gazonga department.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Men don’t want to look at underwear ads of naked men. That’s the premise of the “shocking” JBS Underwear advert campaign:

Thanx also to Kevin Longrie.

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Source: agentbedhead.com

Well, it seems that Jodie Marsh really married herself off on that damn reality show of hers. Not surprisingly, Jodie is now dishing all the requisite nastiness she can muster up about her and husband Matt Peackock’s wild sex escapades:

‘We’re like wild animals,’ Jodie tells the Daily Mirror, ‘I feel sorry for anyone who stays in a room next to us because we’re so noisy.’

The 28-year-old is getting more and more adventurous between the sheets.

‘Right now we’re experimenting with violence and asphyxiation,’ she admits.

Considering that the marriage has just begun, I suppose by their first anniversary, they’ll probably have killed each other. V. interesting.