Source: www.derekhail.com

Everyone’s thoughts when Blake Lively showed up to the Gossip Girl/Vitamin water function last weekend must have been “damn that frilly crap on her chest!” When you decide to wear a see-through white shirt, not only is it considerate not to wear a bra, but you can’t have gay crap covering everything like a tease. At least there is half a boob showing. Maybe if I use a magnifying glass, I can picture the rest.

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Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.derekhail.com

Blake Lively may think she’s clever wearing that partially see through dress, but she’s not fooling me.  I can see right through it.  It’s one of my superpowers, along with the power to ejaculate prematurely in any situation.  On a side note, what the hell is that on her arm.  It looks like someone left her dog in the dryer too long.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Looks like these new stars know the whole upskirt photography trick because Blake Lively came out of her cab prepared.  You know I never really thought Blake Lively was that attractive, but she’s kind of growing on me.  She looks pretty damn good here.  She actually looks a little like Kate Hudson with bigger boobs.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Her name is Blake Lively and she’s the chick on Gossip Girl, a show I’ve never watched but probably should, because ever 18 year old chick is watching it and it’s nice to keep up with what’s going on if you ever want to stick your dick in them

A couple of years ago when the OC first hit, I made a point of watching that shit every thursday night because I used to have a shitty TV and I got it on my one channel. Every time I’d go out to be the creepy old guy at the college party, I’d talk about what happened on the OC and chicks would open up to me and make out with me and all that shit and it was easy fucking research.

I know Gossip Girl is about some NYC socialite rich kid bullshit where everyone is fucking everyone and there’s all kinds of drama on the shit and it’s poisoning every young girl out there and raising the next generation of sluts to love designer clothes more than they already do…..

Here’s a couple episode breakdowns for you to use when out and trying to score young vagina.

Seventeen Candles

Blair is devastated by the current state of her relationship with Nate and the guilt from her recent indiscretion. But she manages to put on a happy face for her 17th birthday party and attempts to hide her feelings from her friends. Hoping to ease the tension between Serena and Vanessa, Dan takes Vanessa to Blair’s party so the girls can bond together, but this ends up making Serena more uncomfortable. Jenny brings her mother home as a surprise visit, but Rufus isn’t ready to forgive and forget. Finally, Nate’s parents ask him to make a huge sacrifice to save his father’s business as he faces charges of embezzlement and fraud.

Victor, Victrola

Serena and Dan finally accept that they are crazy about each other, despite that they come from polar opposite worlds. Chuck thinks of investing in a club trying to make his father Bart Bass proud of him. Nate confronts his father, about the drugs he found in his house but he denies having a problem. Jenny discovers a secret that her parents have been keeping from her. Finally, Blair is devastated by Nate’s actions when Jenny reveals that Nate kissed her by accident thinking she was Serena.

The Handmaiden’s Tale

Dan is torn between two girls when his childhood friend, Vanessa, returns home and declares her feelings for him, just as he and Serena are trying to figure out what they mean to each other. At the infamous masked ball, Blair sends Nate on a scavenger hunt, but Nate is ultimately still distracted by his feelings for Serena. Although Blair makes it perfectly clear that outsiders are not welcome, a disguised Jenny and Dan sneak into the ball. Finally, Lily asks Rufus to accompany her to an Eleanor Waldorf event in order to make Bart Bass jealous

That’s enough of that….This Blake Lively chick is the new Mischa Barton on the new OC and she plays the girl Serena and she’s in her school uniform and you like that. Now use this knowledge when you’re standing outside your local private schools looking for love and send me pics of the outcome….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I’ve been sitting on this whore post for a few days, because it involves maybe outing a celebrity, and I’m pretty sure Jesus’ legal team consists of himself and a homeless guy he dresses up in suit he stole from the Thrift Shop. So when we get to the juice, I’m gonna treat this as a Blind Item.

Last week me and Dutch friend went from bar to bar rubbing up against losers for drinks as they drooled over our tits, then we would split. We finally landed at a rooftop bar where these Spanish cunts were all to happy to foot the bill. I got the short one with a shaved head (free drinks, bottom line) who claimed he was an architect. Shaved Head kept pointing to this ridiculous building he worshipped, a glass eyesore i call ‘the place where cubicles go to die.’ Dutch friend got the hotter metrosexual.

The conversation rolled around to me talking about Cruise’s gay rumors, because fucking and celebrities are my life. If only I could combine the two… Suddenly Shaved Head gets coy, saying his fag-model friend blows some huge actor. He won’t tell. I move in closer, put my hand on his chest, make a guess. I press my body up against his, guess. I nibble his ear, guess. I teasingly kiss the side of his mouth, guess. I snake my hand down to his crotch, stroke it, guess. Shit I am FRUSTRATED. So I just lay one long, wild kiss on this bitch and graze his tonsels with my tongue. He spills it. Let’s just say this allegedly “likes being sucked off by gay Spanish models” actor got his start alongside very vocal fastfood and likes canines.

NOW, I think Shaved Head is a liar for the following reasons: 1) I checked every board and there’s never been a gay rumor about this actor, 2) I named every hot piece in Hollywood so Shaved Head had to think of someone after i raped his face, 3) guys will invent anything to plow your pussy, and 4) this actor is a womanizer and has dated many non-beard, hot actresses.

My take: who gives a shit anyway, a blow is a blow, it’s all just mouth and penis. And I worship this legend either way…. The night ends with the Spanish cunts dragging us to some bar they promise has sangria. We stop at traffic lights for heavy petting and sucking face. We get there and the bar is closed, but suspiciously near his apartment. Me and Dutch friend decline because they weren’t hot or fun enough to slam, and we weren’t getting anymore free drinks out of these bastards.

Now you know I love gossip, and i know you have naughty school girl fantasies. So here is Blake Lively (”…Traveling Pants”) and Taylor Momsen (?) looking oh-so Catholic school on the set of the new flick “Gossip Girls.” Based on these pics, I imagine their characters are pretty slutty. So you Canadians can beat off to both Taylor and Blake, since they are both of age in your country. Americans, you’re only allowed to pleasure yourself with Blake because she is the only one legal in this country. But that never stoped you with Hayden Panetierre.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

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