Source: www.derekhail.com

Britney Spears continues to show us how hot she is in this blindingly bright pink bikini. She and a friend got some R&R in  the pool. Two ladies, in bikinis, splashing around in the pool. Daddy is really loosening that leash, isn’t he? And I thank him for it I can’t imagine being one of the guys hanging out by the pool that afternoon.

But Brit, you don’t need the hat. Or, really, the bikini.

Photos by Fame Pictures

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Source: www.derekhail.com

Phoebe Price flaunts her Ed Hardy bikini (and all the curves that fill out that bikini) at a Malibu beach. She even brought along a friend to mug in a few of the shots. I didn’t know Ed Hardy designed bikinis, but I guess if chicks have to wear anything to the beach (why can’t we  be more European?) than I guess Ed is as good as any. And Phoebe certainly has the goods to flaunt.

Photos by Fame Pictures

Source: www.derekhail.com

Sienna Miller apparently had to get away after doing humiliating herself all the press for that mess of a movie, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, so she fled to Ibiza with her new boyfriend. So it looks like she’s kicked Balthazar Getty to the curb. After he left his wife and four kids and was fired as a regular (supposedly he’ll be on occasionally) on Brothers and Sisters.

Sure, this chick isn’t someone you’d kick out of bed, but is riding her worth a wife, four kids, and a job? I don’t know about that.

Photos by Bauer Griffin

Source: www.derekhail.com

Elisabetta Canalis is an Italian model and TV presenter and apparently she’s in movies.  She must be up for an award because we all know that the big stars always appear in skimpy bathing suits.  I don’t know where I was going with this.  I’ll just let you look at the pictures because let’s face it, you’ve probably skipped right over this shit, and if you didn’t then you’ve learned a valuable lesson.  Reading is for chumps.

Source: www.derekhail.com

This hot vixen is Italian TV personality Elisabetta Canalis.  She spent the 4th of July on the beaches of Miami making all the other women jealous. Some of you may say that Elisabetta is too thin but I think she’s just right.  You can take her out to eat and you won’t have to worry about her picking off all your fries.  Try doing that with Vida Guerra.  That hungry beast will start chewing on your arm.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Caroline D’Amore took her bony ass to get waxed recently because that swimsuit is awfully small around the crotchal region if you know what I mean.  Who the hell is Caroline D’Amore?  She’s one of those chicks who live in LA that don’t do anything because their dads have loads of money.  She also enjoys waxng herself and showing a little “toe” on the beach.

Source: www.derekhail.com

When you think about skinny chicks with amazing bodies, who do you think of?  Marisa Miller?  Alessandra Ambrosio?  Those are good choices but you should probably start putting Melissa Satta up there because this woman’s body is nuts.  You know what else you should think about?  Not wearing socks with sandals.  What’s up with that shit?  Did you change your mind about wearing shoes after you put your socks on and were too lazy to take them off, or did you do that on purpose?

Source: www.derekhail.com

Adele Silva and her less attractive friend can be laughing about one of these 4 options.  Let’s see if you can figure out which one.

1. A funny 18th Century Haiku which highlights the tragic fall of the historic Roman Civilization.
2. One of them farted in the water and it made bubbles
3. The fact that you or I will never have the opportunity to have sex with them.  Ever.
4. The excitement over the pillow fight they are going to have in their panties later.

Think you guessed right?  Well who cares.  I’m still pissed about option 3.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Pornstars are fun because they act like whores and don’t wear alot of clothes.  Then they act all crazy and sexy because they crave the attention.  The best part is that you can always see then doing the nasty whenever you like.  Imagine if you could do that with any woman you meet.  I don’t know how many women I could date if they’ve all had “loads dropped” on them.  Anyway, here’s the skeezers!

BONUS POINTS: If you recognize at least 3 of these women by name, you are a perv.  (I knew 4 of them)

Source: www.derekhail.com

Mya really hasn’t been relevant for a while.  So of course with all her free time, why not hit the beach in Barbados.  Why is it Barbados the place to be if you’re a singer.  Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Mya, they all go there.  It’s weird because you don’t see Michael Bolton hanging on the beaches of Barbados. I forgot where I was going with this but it probably involved an idiotic joke.  I’ll spare you.

Source: www.derekhail.com

One of the best parts about bikini season is the bevy of big breasted bimbos that flock to the beaches to try and get noticed.  They hope this can launch them into an illustrious acting career, but in reality they end up filming a porno in the back of a van.  Since Natalia Bush is from Italy, she has no knowledge of this “van sex”.  Van Sex Ahoy!

Source: www.derekhail.com

I’m assuming Elisabetta Gregoraci is Italian because of her name.  I dont know what the deal is but I’ve been seeing alot of hot Italian women in bikinis lately and it’s making me wonder what the hell is going on over there.  Maybe the Derek Hail staff needs to take a trip over there and do some research.  By that of course I mean put my penis in many Italian women.  You know, for scientific purposes only of course.