Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Malibu Mayor Pamela Ulich has asked Ken Starr (yes, that one) to draw up new city laws involving the paparazzi who work in the celebrity-filled city.

Her plan is to make “buffer zones” for photographers who follow celebs to the beach, she also wants to tax them. She is hoping that the cameramen will “think twice before shoving a camera in your face”.

There have been two situations this week where surfers chased the paparazzi off the beach where Matthew MCConaughey was surfing.

With the internet and paparazzi sites burning up the internet the problem has gotten progressively worse over the past few years.

Ulich hopes to help control the menacing problem.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

The Daily Mail has pictures of Mena Suvari frolicking in the surf in another cheek-baring bikini this week. It begs the question “Does an ass this marvelous have magical powers?” I’m sure her bottom could grant wishes and maybe cure cancer if you just knew how to harness its power. For the record, burying your face in the crack and motorboating like you’re demon-possessed does not unlock its supernatural potential. Nor does getting a good running start with your spanking hand outstretched or putting her in a headlock and attempting to “play the bongos” while she thrashes around like a bluefish in a trolling net. Unless your one true wish happens to be a black eye and a restraining order, in which case, have at it, Slappy.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Don’t be afraid, dear readers — that babushka in the big glasses doesn’t want to make a hearty stew of your children. That’s because the crone pictured above is none other than actress Kate Hudson on vacation in Miami. Now, I know what you’re thinking: how do I know that’s not really a Yugoslavian fishwife disguised as Kate Hudson? It sure looks like a Yugoslavian fishwife. The trick here is the ass. If the ass looks like it belongs under a rainbow nestled on a cushion of rose petals surrounded by doe-eyed forest creatures, it’s Kate Hudson. If it looks like sourdough starter that’s been pounded with a meat tenderizer and stretched a good city block, then it’s an Eastern Bloc ogress. Feel free to write this down to keep in your wallet for reference in emergencies.

More ass-tastic Kate yesterday:

Source: yeeeah.com

Usually with this kind of embarrassing picture, I’d black bar the face and do a “Name That Celebrity” kind of post so you could guess whose back fat this was. However, the gigantic ass looming there beneath the bra sausage instantly gives it away, so there’s no sense in doing that. Really, the only was it could be any more obvious that it’s Kim Kardashian is if the picture were flanked by a couple of big black penises and they were all taking turns urinating on it. Because she’s a slut who likes getting peed on by black guys, you see.

Sausage Links shopping on Robertson Boulevard on Tuesday:

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I don’t know why seeing the Black Eyed Peas performing together reminds me of some tired reunion tour I accidently stumbled in on at some dive bar after a night of drinking rubbing alcohol and juice just to see if it made me go blind…but it does. I feel like they all aged 20 years in the last year of doing their solo careers and that these almost 40 year old motherfuckers are up on stage trying to be down, for their audience of 40 year olds reliving the glory days.

I guess none of that matters, because Fergie has been stickin to the gym and is showing her ass on stage and that never gets old, even if she does. I am talking about expecting to see a 65 year old Fergie in about 5 years on stage pissing herself like she was in her heyday only I’m hoping she’ll be showing more pussy lips….because by then she’ll probably have gone through with the full surgery and it won’t just be the empty scrotum that it is today. That was a Fergie is a Man joke that probably didn’t work. Just in case you were wondering.

Bonus: Some Fergie Upskirt Pictures from The Superbowl showing us that she Probably Doesn’t Have a Penis…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I bet at least one of you has been sitting in your sweat covered folding chair in front of your computer in your messy basement amongst cut outs of random pictures of girls in bikinis and cum covered kleenex and t-shirts sprawled around your room waiting for day two of Coleen McLoughlin pictures to hit because you are creepy and have nothing better to do and she’s your fucking favorite.

I know that I definitely wasn’t that guy, but that’s just because I’ve never heard of this bitch and I can’t afford folding chairs or Kleenex, I’m more into using junk mail flyers for all my personal hygiene needs if I am not too lazy.

Either way, here are day two bikini pictures of this bitch and it turns out that I answer dreams, even if it’s just for one dude who no one talks to because he smells. That makes me feel like a modern day Princess Diana amongst Aids babies or some shit….only I’m not dead….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s a clip from some piece of shit TV show that I suggest you never watch and I am not even going to bother finding out what it’s called because it looks that bad, I just know that Carmen is talking about how she doesn’t take care of her junk and needed a bidet to hose that shit down. I guess after fucking people like Dennis Rodman and all the other dirty cock that’s come her way….the toilet paper just irritates the ass and pussy scabs…and spraying water on it is a hell of a lot abrasive.

Then again, this could just be a bad joke with the hot girl talking about wiping her shitty asshole badly because it’s so unexpected so everyone laughs because you assume hot chicks are perfect and that you could eat dinner off her perfect anus so hearing her say she doesn’t wipe shocks us all into uncontrollable giggles or some shit…..except for maybe the perverts who are into scat and are too busy jerking off to the thought of her stinky dirty poo covered ass.

Nothing like shitty acting, shitty jokes and shit covered Carmen Electras to start my day.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I figured that a good way to start the day is with some Footballer’s wife who you’ve never heard of in a bikini. I really don’t have much to say about her, other than if I was a footballer, she’d probably be one of the girls who I bring to my hotel room while on the road for a quick fuck, while the wife is back at home breast feeding our kids, and not make her into my wife. The reason for that is simple, she’s not very hot. She’s one of those girls who is good enough to fuck, because let’s face it, anyone with a vagina is good enough to fuck when nobody is looking and it would probably be a lot less expensive than financing her vacation where these pictures were taken….

I guess if I was a footballer, I probably wouldn’t be getting these high pressure induced nose bleeds, but I’d also have a different slag in every city ranked by how good they sucked me off, because you only live once and why sin all over your belly while god is watching when you can do it all over some willing chick’s face. Because in the eyes of god, you’re not cheating if you’re wife doesn’t know about it. At least that’s the story I heard.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s a little Marisa Miller supermodel at some superbowl shit because I am not tired of supermodels and any events,

We’ve already made it past superbowl monday’s traffic surge because it’s the biggest internet traffic day of the year according to my web hosting company and we’ve made it past super tuesday that I haven’t been watching the news because I am not American, live in Canada and hate politics and voting because my vote doesn’t matter. So I don’t know who won your event but I can assume that the republicans are doing pretty good because no white man wants to see a woman or a black dude in power and no woman really wants to see a woman in power because deep down inside they want to be the first female president because it was a childhood dream…and no black dude wants to see a black dude in office because they don’t even trust their own mother’s enough to not try to rip them off. So the democrats who all want Bush out but look at their options and realize another 4 more years of war really, recession and cowboy patriotic bullshit about freedom, isn’t as bad as having a woman or a black dude ruin what the country has worked so hard against the since the inception of the president’s job description….

I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know a mode when I see one, actually I don’t, I just ask every girl I meet if she’s a model because it tricks them into thinking that I think they are hot enough to make a living off their looks, and that’s usually enough of a glaze over their eyes to get them happy enough to show me their vaginas…..and this is Marisa Miller from Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret and her big breasts in a black dress that you could have probably figured out on your own, provided you aren’t blind, which I think is a safe assumption since you’re making a conscious effort to not read this and not actually not reading it because the whole world is night all the time for you…..

I think that was called rambling on. I’ll stop now…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Every virgin who already posted these pictures seems to think it’s amazing that Leonardo DiCaprio is slamming this bitch after years of slamming Gisele and I think that it’s really not that impressive. I may not be gay enough to determine whether dude is good looking, but every woman I’ve ever come across thinks he is and that doesn’t even touch on the fact that he is famous and has a boat load of money. So the reality is that I am surprised that dude’s slamming this bitch and not having orgies with bitches who look like Bar Rafaeli and who are more famous than this Israeli I’ve only heard of because of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Either way, the good news is that Bar Rafaeli hasn’t been suicide bombed by the arabs in her home country and is frolicking around in a bikini so you fools can just her imperfections to make the fat pig you’ve been banging a little easier to stomach, and by stomach I mean hiding your dick in her belly folds, it’s a sex move that was created with the national obesity rate going up. True story.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Kelly Rowland ends my morning Black History Month coverage that may or may not continue, depending on what the famous blacks get themselves into over the next month. I guess proven by these pictures, the famous blacks don’t need to be all that famous, they just have to be in bikinis because last time I checked my Destiny’s Child calendar, they broke up 3 years ago and I’ve been broken up on the inside ever since, but I still post one of them half naked.

I guess none of that really matters, what does matter is that you white fuckers don’t have a history month of your own. Losers. Sure you can argue that every day is White History Day, but I don’t see it on my Destiny’s Child Calendar, but it’s also 3 years old so maybe that’s why. Reality is that you white folk don’t have your own Entertainment Channel, either. But I don’t think the blacks are the real issue, they are harmless, unless you just bought a new bike, so let them learn about other blacks and how they magically appeared here from dancing around a fire and running from cheetah’s in Africa to pick white cotton in chains in the American south because the real threat is the Gays because they could be anyone well-dressed amongst us and one night after having one too many drinks they could even end up being you when you wake up and your dick is being sucked by one of your drunken buddies.

I don’t know what I am talking about, just look at the bikini pics…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Christina Milian is still alive and she’s dipping it low on the dance floor in New York for fashion week and she’s doing it in a pair of tight shiny pants that I can see my face in….but not because they are shiny but because I am a pervert and imagine living in every girl I see’s panties like it was some kind of warm magical place that smelled like an old fish shop I used to work at. Those were the best years of my life.

I don’t really know why I am posting these, but I can only assume it’s an excuse to post the old nipples pictures of her that I saw yesterday for the first time, because I am more into nipples than I am into tight pants, but that’s just because my mother never breast fed me.

BONUS - SOME OLD PICTURES OF HER BIG NIPPLES IN A SEE THROUGH TOP.