Source: www.derekhail.com

If I met a chick who looked like Ali Larter and found out she had superpowers, I’d do everything in my power to make her mine. Just that simple. I hear Ali’s about to be taken off the market (she’s engaged), but until then, I can fantasize about heading out to LA and sweeping her off her feet.

Hell, she could sweep me off my feet if it got me closer to her rack.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“I just remember sitting in my trailer hysterically crying from the embarrassment I felt about myself, about my body.”

- Ali Larter was devastated after producers for the show, Heroes, told her she needed to lose weight.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I know this Ali Larter bitch is pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but then again so are most of the people I post about, she is just less important than the rest. She’s not in any major movies and hasn’t really done much with herself since the Whip Cream Bikini scene in Varsity blues, but she has taken her little tits to a place where people care to take pictures of her going to lunch, stuffing her face and pretending to be excited to see her friends.

I never linked incorporating food into sex. I always thought it was disgusting and I am a fat man who on the surface looks like I love eating. Reality is that I just don’t like moving and I like drinking beer, but that’s not the point, the point is that when my wife was about 50 pounds lighter and she was just starting to emotionally eat and pack on more weight than her natural slow metabolism and 2 kids had already packed on, she decided to be kinky. I remember walking into my apartment drunk one night and all I could smell was peanut butter. Bitch had smeared shit all over her pussy and tits in hopes of getting me to lick it up. I told her that the peanut butter trick was for lonely ladies with pet dogs and that she stank so bad I was going to throw up. We threw her in the shower and that was the last time she tried to bring food into the bedroom for sex, that didn’t stop her from eating chocolate, chips, cookies, burgers, pizza, cake and anything she can get her greasy fat hands in bed, but it did stop her from intentionally putting it on her lady parts for me to eat off.

Either way, I don’t even know if Ali Larter was the whip cream bikini bitch, I just ran with it and here are some pictures of Ali Larter having lunch, because I haven’t eaten anything yet today and watching her show off that she eats makes me jealous of her budget to go to restaurants while she’s more useless of a person than me.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Ali Larter, now universally known from the hit TV Series, Heroes, has several personalities including: webcam stripper, a Hero with special abilities, a dark side called Jessica, and a good side called Niki. However, in an undisclosed late season twist, Ali Larter is currently learning how to become a stripper. Now, although we have no idea what the official word is on Ali Larter, I’m sure nobody cares.

There are countless people I have asked about Heroes, and the universal answer from every one of them is, “I change the channel when Ali Larter’s character comes on.” I personally hate both Niki and Jessica and don’t really give a damn about what her character is up to. To each is own. [source]