Source: www.derekhail.com

Jennifer Love Hewitt is no longer camera shy since she’s lost a couple of pounds. After ridicule from…well pretty much everybody…for having the nerve to prance around in a bikini with a gut, Jennifer shaped up, but not before telling every fat person to dress like a skanky whore.

Several Web sites posted shots of Hewitt, with a bit of cellulite, on a Hawaii beach with her then brand-new fiance, Scottish actor Ross McCall, along with some less-than-complimentary comments. TMZ.com, for example, said, “We know what you ate this summer, Love — everything!”

It’s nice to know that even though we can’t achieve world peace, at least we can all come together to make a human garbage disposal self conscious. This is it, America! We are one step closer to achieving a thing I like to call “a sexy utopia.”

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Source: www.derekhail.com

…And, ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your right you will find Magda Gomez stripping for the television show “Markette.” I’m not entirely sure what is going on with her bra, but that is only a minor setback…like her face. But whatever she’s doing, it sure is working. Kids these days do anything to be on television. Thank God.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Anna Faris bares all in Playboy’s September issue, except what you expect from this type of magazine. While there are no nude pictures to pass along, Anna comes to admit one thing: she was a complete wierdo growing up.

In high school, “I felt unattractive, short and self-conscious about my body, and I would purposely emphasize that by doing odd things,” Faris, 31, tells Playboy. “I wore glasses, braces, odd hairdos and dumpy clothes. I was clumsy and awkward. When I was a freshman I wore a Christmas tree skirt as a cape. I couldn’t get any dates until senior year.”

Well rest assured Anna, even though you still have a couple of kinks to work out, you can sleep soundly tonight knowing there’s going to be a dude tomorrow jizzing over your centerfold.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Kate Winslet tells all about her experience filming sex scenes with Leonardo DiCaprio in a new movie entitled “Revolutionary Road.” What’s more, it’s her husband, Sam Mendes, directing it.

“I just kept saying, `This is too … weird,”’ Winslet tells Entertainment Weekly magazine. “And Leo was like, `Oh, get over it.’ And I’m going, `Yeah, a little reminder: You’re my best friend. He’s my husband. This is a bit weird.”’

Don’t worry Kate, you’ll get over it. I have this notion that you’re going to be doing this a lot more often now that your husband is discovering the wonderful perverted powers he has over you. Take my advice however, if he comes into the bedroom one evening with a bucket full of live salmon and tells you to strip down to nothing, do not take the bait. I repeat, DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT.

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Source: www.derekhail.com

For all those out there who are devastated over the rumors going around that the Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion is closing for business, I’m here to tell you the good news: it ain’t.

“Absolutely false,” Playboy’s PR director tells E! News of the rumor. “We’re having a huge Halloween party, a New Year’s Eve party…it’s full steam ahead.”

So you know what that means. There is more than enough time to whore yourself into the mansion and live out every jealous guy’s fantasy. You are one bad ass wrinkly guy, Hugh Hefner, you definitely are.

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