Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

And when I say ‘it’ I mean semen.

This guy is such an attention whore! He will say just about anything for publicity or to promote his upcoming reality show, Rock of Love Bus. Let’s just call it the Bang Bus!

This time Bret Michaels tells People magazine that he is still “in love” with Ambre Lake, the winner of Rock of Love 2.

“I still love her.  I’m not really over her yet. We still hang. She was just out with me a couple days ago and we were having a great time. She’s really got it. I think she’s great.”

Whoa, back up.  Bret loves his Ambre?  Since when?  Oh, whoops, I’m sorry, I guess that was his dick talking..!  My bad!

“The reason for destruction of all my relationships is that I’m passionate about being on the road and making music.  I have great relationships. But the women I date don’t realize that I spend between 6 and 8 months of my life on the road — touring or traveling or seeing family with my daughters.”

Ok, fine.  Then why the hell do you keep having these lame reality shows?  Oh yeah, because #1: His band sucks.  #2: He can score lots o’ trim. #3: He can score lots o’ trim.

But Bret keeps up the facade, pretending to be love starved.  He thinks his next reality show could possibly find him ‘the one,’ being as the girls will learn what it’s like to live with him on the road.

“Wait till they travel on a bus and are living in and out of a suitcase under the bay of the hotel,” he says. “You know they’re going to show up here with 14 suitcases when you can fit about one. I have two pairs of jeans … You learn to live like that. It’s a whole different life.”

Bret adds that he never leads the girls on or toys with their affections.  He only wants ‘the meat’ of the relationship.  Heh.

“I’m pretty honest with the girls.  I tell them, ‘Look, we’re dating. There’s no white picket fence.’ It’s not like all of a sudden the show’s over and the next day we’re married and that kind of thing.”

As for getting married, does he think it will happen someday?

“I don’t know,” he says. “I never really thought about it.”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

I was so confident that John Mayer had been the one to dump Jennifer Aniston, but apparently that was not the case.

The new rumor is that Jen got sick and tired of John’s wandering eye.

They say that Jen actually gave his the ‘three strikes, you’re out’ routine, and after the third strike, a groupie, she kicked him to the curb.

The first two were a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant. Cocktail waitresses are major hookers, man. Every major movie star has done one - or fifty!

A friend who is reportedly close to Aniston said,

“Jen who decided to move on. She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye.”

John is such a player. And to think he was this goofy, long haired not-so-hot guy when he first landed on the scene. Ok, maybe he was geeky hot. But he was also a bit more modest, and even claimed to have given up sex with grouies.

Remember that? Now he’s just like every other egotistical mofo in Hollywood. I’m so over him!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“I said, ‘Wow, this girl is angry.’ And then I said, ‘Oh man, I think it’s Alanis.’ I listened to the song over and over again, and I said, ‘I think I have really hurt this person.’

We saw each other and hung out for an entire day. And it was beautiful. It was one of those things where it was kind of like, ‘We’re good.’ “

- Dave Coulier says he and Alanis Morrisette have made up since the ugly breakup that fueled her song, You Outta Know.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

For once in my life I’m going to have to say that I agree with Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay ranted on her MySpace celebrity blog about certain gossip rags and bloggers who are saying that little Ali Lohan looks like she got a boob job.

She wrote:

ARE THEY REAL?????

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

I love the boob job rumors. I say that sarcastically because any bitch can wear a push-up bra, water bra, or wtf ever and look like they had a boob job.

How many times have bloggers asked, “Did Paris Hilton get a boob job?” No you dumb f**kers, you just have nothing better to write about!

Same goes for Ali. I mean, please. This girl is 14 years old and still developing. Why are you sick f**ks even looking at her tits? She’s a fricking kid, you assholes.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

This shoot is a couple years old, but I just love her..

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Although Jennifer Love Hewitt swears the photos taken of her last November while vacationing in Maui were not the reason she decided to lose some weight, I’m not buying it.

I’m also not buying that she lost 18 pounds!

She told us back in November that she was a tiny size 2. (Something my 5′8″ ass will never see..)

Bitch is only 5′2″! I promise you she did NOT lose 18 pounds! Me thinks they just found a bad picture and put it next to a new picture where she is majorly sucking it in, exercising good posture and turning to the side!

Anyhow, JLH says she worked out and ate good, blah, blah, blah… for 10 weeks.

She says, “I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up. The energy level and the way I feel now is great.”

Her trainer, Stevie Sant’Angelo, tries to convince us that it wasn’t the negative press that made her want to change.

“With her, it’s not, ‘I want to look good in that dress. She wanted to start moving around because she thought it would make her feel better. She told me, ‘They said some rude, mean things, but that’s not why I wanted to change.”

*Ahem* Bullsh*t! *Ahem*

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.derekhail.com

One of Dr. Phil’s fans tells guys, if you don’t go to his show to hear about fat people, pedophiles, and serial killers, at least show up for the women. Posted on Craigslist, the fan gives guys a few pointers about what goes down.

: “Before you go into the studio everyone hangs out in a staging area for about an hour, you have plenty of time to start something. I would recommend having something fun and very ‘L.A.’ to do after the show to offer the girls to go to. Then get into drinks.”

Aaah. There’s nothing like preying upon the emotionally wrecked women that makes daytime television possible. It makes you wonder if anyone would have as much success picking up a MILF down on Oprah’s set.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Sharon Stone is being sued by a construction worker for having a hidden death trap in her home. On August 25, 2006 the worker claims that while he was working, he fell over a bunch of plants that concealed a steep ditch. Since then, he’s been moaning and groaning over the physical and mental strain he’s been through.

While that particular job was memorable for Krause, a rep for the onetime Oscar nominee tells us that “[t]here’s no record of this individual being on the property and likewise there’s no record reporting this individual being injured on the property.

How utterly convenient. Who’s side is telling the truth? If someone as loud and obnoxious as this worker guy got injured, I’m sure someone would have found out about it, but then again? If he fell into a ditch and had to survive on eating bugs and snakes for three days until he was able to construct an escape route, then maybe I wouldn’t have a record on him too.

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Source: www.derekhail.com

Gary Glitter, old fart glam rocker and child molester, is scheduled to be released from prison in Vietnam and deported back to his hometown Great Britain. Glitter was sentenced three years in prison back in ‘06 after he got too “touchy feely” with a 10 and 11 year old Asian kid.

Kinh (his lawyer) said Glitter told him several months ago he did not want to go back to Great Britain, but Vietnamese law requires he be returned to his home country.

In a recent interview with the Cong An Nhan Dan (People’s Police) newspaper, Glitter said he intends to resume his singing career and might move to Singapore or Hong Kong.

This guy obviously can’t get enough of that Egg Foo Young, and he probably wouldn’t be in this mess if he knew what every other guy knew: go to Japan. Every high school girl looks 10 with their baby voices, school uniform, and awkward “V” sign. It’s too bad he didn’t find out about it sooner, but there’s a new vacation spot for you.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Tyra Banks spills the beans and lets us know that come this season of “America’s Next Top Model” everyone out there watching will get a chance to play “One of These Things is Not Like the Other” from their very own homes. Tyra has admitted to taking a transgender butterfly named Isis under her wing and on to her show. Everyone seems so excited:

“The inclusion of Isis on ‘America’s Next Top Model’ offers an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television. We applaud Tyra Banks and The CW for making this historic visibility of transgender people possible,” Neil G. Giuliano, GLAAD President told Access in statment.

Yes, thank you Tyra for paving the way for smoking hot girls-but-not-really-girls to be on television; you will be adding to the number of confused erections everywhere.

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Source: www.derekhail.com

Brooke Hogan wows the world on her myspace once again while flaunting just how disproportionate her brain mass is to her boobs with her take on why women shouldn’t be in the White House and voting:

“Notice how i said ‘I know IIIIII couldn’t do it cause I’d be pms-ing and freaking out all the time’ …Honestly I’d LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems….but thats not the point…but its true. LOL.”

“I’M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don’t wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that.”

Yes, Brooke. *pat pat* Let’s leave all the complicated stuff to the intellectuals and professionals. Now start jumping up and down for the man behind the camera as we douse you with a fire hose.

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