Source: yeeeah.com

Environmentalists everywhere voiced their concerns over the weekend regarding Kim Kardashian being allowed to lounge outdoors in only a bikini. Scientists believe her bottom could easily be mistaken for North America from an aerial perspective, confusing migratory birds and causing derivations from their usual route to the U.S. “Plus, bitch got one big fat ass,” one scientist was quoted as saying. “I mean, God dayum.” Sorry, but you can’t argue with science!

Upsetting fragile ecosystems with sister Kourtney over the weekend:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: yeeeah.com

Real girls eat meat. And — from the looks of Jessica Simpson here — also donuts and Hershey bars and double-potato fritattas. Saddle on up, fatty!

With Tony in LA:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

The brother of John Graziano reportedly called the family of Nick and Hulk Hogan and let his disgust for them be known.

A taped phone message from Frank Graziano to the Hogan family was played on air this morning by radio personality ‘Bubba the Love Sponge’, (what kind of effed up name is that?) who is a friend of the Hogans.

In the beginning of the call Frank says, “I’m going to have your son’s ass.” He went on, “I don’t give a f@ck who you know - or how much money you got, you piece of sh!t.” The Hogan women weren’t spared his wrath either. He calls Linda and Brooke, “Your whore daughter and your whore wife.”

Listen to the phone calls here.

There are two recordings, the second one being much easier to understand. In the second one he tells the Hulkster,

“I don’t know who the f@ck you think you are Terrence, but you ain’t nothing . . every Marine, every gangster, every lowlife, every crackhead and every scumbag is going to be looking for you and your little f@cking kid . .”

TMZ reports that the Clearwater Police Department has an “open investigation” into the calls.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Amy Winehouse better hold on to her money, because really folks, how much longer will people pay to see the junkie trainwreck perform half-assed shows?

In the meantime, Amy is still a hot commodity.

Russian billionaire, Roman Abramavich, offered Crackhouse a whopping $2 million to perform at the opening of his girlfriend’s art gallery in Moscow on Thursday.

Winehouse, who can use the cash, has been spending tons of dough on paying inmates to look after her Blake-Incarcerated. And of course, smack.

Amy flew from London to Moscow and when they landed Amy was a mess. Winehouse’s performance was scheduled for 10:30pm but was two hours late as people behind the scenes tried to sober her up enough to sing for the crowd.

When she emerged she walked down a red carpet lined with red lights. The NY Post described the runway as “guiding her like a damaged aircraft down a runway.” Heh.

As she performed she chain smoked, at one point hurling her lighter into the crowd, she was unsteady on her feet and her short dress revealed to some unlucky guests that she wasn’t wearing panties.

A source said, “I heard that her singing was a little sloppy But she still put on a terrific show.”

More like a freak show.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Kanye West’s middle-of-the-night show at the Bonnaroo Misc Festival in Tennessee was delayed nearly two hours causing the crowd to chant, “Kanye sucks!”

West was slated to hit the stage at 2:45am, but when that time approached concert goers were told there had been a slight delay and that he would be on stage at 3:15am. Then when that didn’t happen, they were told he’d be on at 3:30am. Once again it was pushed even further out, and the performer didn’t take the stage until nearly 4:30am. By that time the crowd was pretty worked up, and the chanting continued.

Initially it was reported that the delay was caused by problems with West’s extremely intricate stage props that included an “interplanetary landscape of a wavy black platform with a slanted floor in the middle and a video screen above.”

However, Ken Weinstein, a spokesman for the annual festival , said that it was the fact that Pearl Jam had played an hour over their scheduled time (until 1:15am) and it was just a matter of getting their gear offstage and Kanye’s on stage.

Halfway through Kanye’s show the sun began to rise and many concert goers headed to bed. Many fans were upset that Kanye had failed to mention anything about the delay.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: yeeeah.com

Billy Bob Thornton is speaking out on ex-wife Angelina Jolie’s relationship with Brad Pitt, and as you’d expect, it’s all very deep and insightful. Female First quotes him as saying

“She is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though.”

Well, when I woke up from that dream, it was right in the middle of the part where Brad was stroking my hair and running his mouth over my heaving bosom. Right before the part where he morphed into a snake with four heads and eagle claws and two little girls on tricycles started circling around me chanting in Latin. See, this is exactly why you never take a bunch of valium to come down off an acid trip. Better to do it the old-fashioned way and drink whiskey until you pass out. The more you know!

Vintage Jolie goodness:

Source: www.derekhail.com

Hulk Hogan has gotten himself into some shit.  Here’s an audio clip of the brother of John Grazionao (the kid Nick Hogan put in a coma), leaving a message on Hulk’s answering machine.  In it he makes references to raping Nick Hogan, pissing on his family’s grave, and the ever so classy mention of his “whore daughter” and “whore wife”.  The bottom line is Nick Hogan is going to have a rough time when he gets out of jail, which sucks because even though he is a pompous douchebag, this whole thing was just a glorified car accident.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Kourtney & Kim Kardashian took part in a photoshoot witout their ogre of a sister last week.  When having a brood of female children, the Kardashians are pretty much the norm.  One kid is thin and hot, the other is medium with a huge ass, and the other’s middle name is Shrek.

Source: yeeeah.com

Harry Potter star Emma Watson will be replacing Keira Knightley as the new face of Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle fragrance. According to Now Magazine

The 18-year-old actress has signed a rumored [$6 million], 2-year deal to be the face of the Chanel perfume.

When I was eighteen, I had an ‘82 Peugot that broke down often enough for me to keep a ten-speed mounted to the trunk and a collection of limited edition Holiday Barbies still in their original boxes. Emma Watson is eighteen, and she has liquid assets totaling somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 million. But the real question is, does she have the spirited sense of adventure and the devil-may-care whimsy of my youth? Because there are some things that money just can’t buy. I’m kidding, of course. For $15 million, you could probably poop “spirited sense of adventure” and buy your own salvation. I’m pretty sure God takes American Express Black when the devil’s not looking.

In Parade magazine:

Source: yeeeah.com

You might remember those incredibly unflattering pictures of Mischa Barton sunbathing in Australia that hit the net last month. The ones she claimed were photoshopped so the paparazzi could make more money off them. Curiously, Mischa was photographed plodding around New York on Friday with the very same set of legs that you saw in those pictures. Mischa defended herself, telling the The Daily Mail

“Photographers try to get the most unflattering shots. They know they are worth more money. Every woman has cellulite.”

I imagine she had more to say on the subject, but was cut short when an Indian in buttless chaps and glitter eyeshadow walked up and bitch-slapped her for stealing his vest. Oh no she didn’t!

May the great eagle spirit walk with you: