Source: www.derekhail.com

Miranda Kerr is not my favorite Victoria Secret Angel.  She looks like crap without makeup and there’s just nothing spectacular about her.  I know she’s trying to win me over by pushing out her ass but that idiotic hat is just too much to overcome.  I would say that she raided Christina Aguilera’s closet for this clothes, but I don’t even think Christina would wear a hat like that.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Colleen McLoughlin has the good life.  She’s dating a famous athlete and when she has time, she manages to lie around and do nothing.  It’s a tough day’s work for a hot chick.  I swear if I had a pair of boobs I would do nothing all day.  Then for about an hour each night I would shake them in an old rich dudes face and make my money for the week.  Hell, I may just get implants and do that tomorrow.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Hey, if two sweaty men simply must beat the crap out of each other, I should be allowed to pretend that one of them is The Rock, and the other one is rendered virtually invisible. In other words, I’m still sticking to my unofficial rule that I will not post the visage of Uwe Boll, who has somehow upgraded his eccentric publicity whoring to include the status of “total crackhead.” Yep, he has taken the liberty of challenging fellow director Michael Bay to a good pounding in the ring:

Hi, here’s Uwe Boll and you see my outfit so you know what’s coming up now basically. Michael Bay responded to my note about him in a very insulting way for me. He said that he doesn’t care about me and this was very insulting because I care about him and I think that with the money he has for his movies, he sucks big time. I think it’s time to meet in the ring actually.

So it’s my message to Michael Bay, Michael, in between your pool parties in LA or your casting sessions with the strippers you should start training now. And I’m sure you look good, you look thin. I saw you at the Hollywood Film Festival, I think you’re a fit guy and you do like private karate Asia bullshit crap fighting stuff in LA where you think you’re super cool that you do that with your 500 bucks per hour trainer.

So let’s meet in the ring in September or October. Pay-per-view. Mandalay Bay. Las Vegas. Twelve rounds of boxing. Boll against Bay. It’s also independent against the studio system and I think that this day in Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas we will clear it up who is not only the better director who is also able to fight more for that what he wants.

OK Michael, if you see that message I expect that your people contacting me, it will be all arranged. We even make money with it, and so let’s go for it. Boll against Bay. It’s on.

Obviously, U.B. has some sort of vendetta against Michael Bay himself amongst all of the other filmmakers (Gus Van Sant, Steven Spielberg, Eli Roth, Michael Haneke, Tom Tykwer, & George Clooney) whose names that U.B. has recently mispronounced for whatever reasons. This personal vendetta has been fueled by the fact that Michael Bay is the only one who demonstrated his visible discomfort at being singled out by U.B., and the little crackhead is getting off on it.

Of course, this comes after the “The Uwe Boll Movie Challenge,” which Defamer describes as “like Be Kind Rewind, but with the guiding light of a German hack as opposed to a French aesthete.” Somehow, this just isn’t about filmmaking any longer because — unlike the other filmmakers who are, you know, busy making films — U.B. has apparently forgotten his profession and would rather prove his manhood in Vegas, of all places.

Below, you’ll find the video of U.B. challenging Michael Bay to a fight. What a fucking freak.

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Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Photos: DailyMail.co.uk

Amy Winehouse was arrested earlier today in London on suspicion of assault.

Amy reported to the London police station by appointment for questioning regarding the incident we told you about yesterday where she head-butted a man who was trying to hail her a cab. Winehouse, who was completely trashed at the time, thought the man was molesting her.

A Scotland Yard spokesman stated, “A 24-year-old woman has been arrested on suspicion of assault after attending a central London police station by appointment. She is currently in custody.”

When Amy arrived at the station she must have been loaded because a police spokesperson said she was initially not fit to be interrogated. “The doctor has seen the 24-year old woman and has said that she is not fit to be interviewed. That means that we cannot deal with her for at least four hours and until the doctor has seen her again.”

If Amy is found guilty of assault she faces up to six months in jail and a £2,000 fine.

Meanwhile, Blake Fielder-Civil made an appearance in court today just hours before his wife was arrested. Amy did not make the hearing, but a young blonde named Sophie Schandorff, who was obviously very much into Blake, did. Blake seemed elated.

They were seen mouthing “I love you” to each other repeatedly. Blake said, “You all right, babe?” and made a waving gesture to her to suggest she come visit him in prison. And again she mouthed back, “I love you, I love you”, before the court warned her to stop. Later she told reporters that she and Blake are good friends who have known each other for awhile. Riiigghht.

Oh, can’t you just feel it? Amy and Blake’s junkie love story is about to come to an end. So much for happy endings.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Not in the above picture, no. Actually, once you get past the ugly-ass tattoo she looks sane, pleasant and even sort of attractive. But that picture was taken months ago. Today Amy was arrested for head-butting a man Thursday night while making her usual drunken pub crawl hopped up on booze, crack, animal tranquilizers, and, for all I know, the contents of a Lava Lamp. When she reported to the police Ms. Winehouse was looking somewhat the worse for wear, and to spare the sensibilities of our more delicate readers I’ve tucked her current picture below the fold. Go ahead and click if you dare:

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Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

I guess, if you consider silicone a good thing.

I’m certainly not against having your boobs done, but good lawd, woman! Having mammoth tits like that is just asking to be critiqued. How can you look at Jodie Marsh and NOT think she’s an easy bimbo? She might a well have an eye tattooed on each mound since that’s the only thing people see when they look at her. Oh, and her f*cked up nose..

Can you imagine trying to sleep with those things flopping around? Forget sleeping on your stomach! They look sloppy, uncomfortable and really don’t do much for her figure.

Guys, chime in, Hot or NOT?

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“If you’re out there, gay boys, tell that fat girl following you around, laughing at all your jokes that you think she’s beautiful! Tell her she’s fat and ­beautiful, and she’ll think sweet about you well into her 20’s…eternal.”

- Gossip’s Beth Ditto on her MySpace page

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

The Today Show interviews Madonna on this morning’s show.

Madge talks about her new film, I am Because We Are, a documentary about the children of Malawi who have lost both parents to AIDS.

Whether you are a Madonna fan or not, I think this is a great interview. Check it out.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Amy Winehouse is in jail.

A rep from Scotland Yard just told TMZ they have arrested Amy Winehouse on suspicion of assault.

She is currently at the Holborn Police Station.

Wino is accused of allegedly headbutting a guy outside a bar in London earlier this week. The maximum sentence for common assault in Britain is six months in prison.

Seriously, when are they just going to put her down.  I’ve seen homeless people that are better put together than Amy Winehouse.  I don’t even think her body can be salvaged.  It’s all lanky and bruised.  Yea, she’s a total wash.  Just destroy it and start over.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Mariah Carey loves to be center stage. Mariah Carey wants the attention of the whole audience. Mariah Carey doesn’t take shit from a backup singer. This video clearly proves all three of those points. At the 3:05 mark she pretty much yells “Stop Singin’ My Part” to one of the backup singers. The singer hasn’t been heard from since.

Source: agentbedhead.com

While Tom Cruise prepares for his next closeup on the Oprah Winfrey show, Jenna Miscavage (the niece of Scientology world leader, David Miscavage) gave an interview to “Nightline” about what it’s like to grow up as a member of the COS. In particular, Jenna was recruited into the Sea Org by means of a 1 billion year contract to express her devotion to the cult. In return, Jenna and other Sea Org children received work weeks that regularly exceeded 100 hours per week.

The interview also briefly touched upon the Cruise as the “Face of Scientology” (crikey!), and this leads to questions of willful blindness on the part of Cruise and other high profile celebrity members of Scientology. Do these celebs know what occurs in the Sea Org? Obviously, they’ve heard the stories but choose to dismiss them for a greater good, as John Travolta alluded in a 1983 Rolling Stone interview:

RS: “Then despite all the negative publicity about Scientology, you still believe?”

Travolta: “Yes. I think it’s pretty brilliant. I try to separate the material and the organization, because I don’t agree with the way the organization is being run. I believe that the material is more worthy than the individuals who are handling it.”

RS: “Scientology uses your name a lot in promoting its cause. Do you feel it has used your celebrity for its own purposes?”

Travolta: “I’ve been something of an ostrich about how it’s used me, because I haven’t investigated exactly what the organization’s done. One part of me says that if somebody gets some good out of it, maybe it’s all right. The other part of me says that I hope it uses some taste and discretion. I wish I could defend Scientology better, but I don’t think it even deserves to be defended, in a sense.”

So, in the instances where Scientology has been implicated in certain homicides, these celeb members probably overlook that as well. Nice work!

Video clips of Jenna Miscavage’s “Nightline” interview are below:

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