Archive for April, 2008

Gratuitous Insincere Tom Cruise Pho-HAHAHHAHAHAA!

Source: agentbedhead.com

Oprah and Tom Cruise

Not too terribly long ago, Oprah Winfrey told “Good Morning America” that Tom Cruise and his couch jumping were whack:

“It was wilder than it was appearing to me,” Winfrey said. “I was just trying to maintain the truth for myself because I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And what I was prepared for was the dance that happens when you’re doing celebrities — when you know they’re not going to tell you, but you’re going to ask anyway, and then you try asking another way.”

Instead of the “dance,” Winfrey was confronted with an Irish jig on top of her furniture.

“I was not buying — not buying or not buying,” Winfrey said of Cruise’s declarations of love. “That’s why I kept saying to [him,] ‘you’re gone, you’re really gone.’”

So, we’re wondering what sort of blackmail occurred for Oprah to invite Cruise onto her show for a “twofer” in a vain attempt to repair his still-tarnished image. Oprah doesn’t need the ratings or the money. The thing is, I’m betting that Tom didn’t even want to have any part in this reunion because, hell, his public image is fine, already. He’s normal, remember? It’s society, having been brainwashed by psychiatrists gone wild, that has the problem.

At any rate, Oprah reportedly “goes there” with Cruise by grilling him about Scientology, his temper tantrum when asked about psychiatry by Matt Lauer, “and, yes, the infamous couch-jumping incident.” We even hear that Oprah let Tom drive her around on his little snowmobile. Awwwww.

Seriously, blackmail.

Image: Access Hollywood

Published on April 29th, 2008 in Oprah Sucks, Scientologists, Tom Cruise

Phoebe Price is the Coppertone Model

Source: www.derekhail.com

Phoebe Price in a Bikini is frightening 1

Phoebe Price must be having a kick ass summer because she looks great in this bikini.  Her toned stomach and colorful legs are so enticing, I can barely contain myself.  Thank God she didn’t turn around because we all know how hot her ass is, I don’t think I could handle it.  In other, completely unrelated news, I won the Outstanding Achievement in Sarcasm Award this morning.  Hooray!

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Published on April 29th, 2008 in Phoebe Price

GPal Wants Your Pity, You Uncivilized Americans

Source: agentbedhead.com

Gwyneth Paltrow

With the release of Iron Man, Gwyneth Paltrow seeks to revamp her image from that of a dowdy stay-at-home mummy to the sexy, desirable Hollywood actress that she once was. Remember, though… she’s no longer a lowly American.

For all her snobbish behavior, GPal maintains that her aloofness (translation: high bitch factor) is due to her alleged lack of self-confidence.

People came over to watch me in the film Emma and I was like: Oh. My. God. I’m the worst actress ever. The next day, I was filming Shakespeare In Love entrenched in the idea I was unwatchably bad.

C’mon. We all know this does nothing to excuse GPal’s habitual name-dropping and anti-American sentiments, which she tried to dismiss as rubbish, but we knew better. Her PR people should know that this crap and a few weeks of wearing seven-inch heels won’t solve the problem of their client’s verbal diarrhea. (Note to GPal: This situation isn’t helped by the fact that you just snubbed your own party.)

It’s awfully convenient that GPal is attempting to tweak public perception in light of the pending release of Iron Man. In a few years, she’ll do an interview that slams the film as part of her “shite” category of work, which she has already admitted about those Estée Lauder adverts as well as the following:

Shallow Hal, the Farrelly brothers film, and “this terrible movie called View From the Top that Harvey Weinstein talked me into doing.”

What an ungrateful bitch. She should be grateful to have such work, not to mention that meaningless gift of an Oscar award. Hell, other than the virtually guaranteed success of Jon Favreau’s Iron Man, GPal’s films have seriously tanked over the past five years. If she isn’t exactly a box-office draw these days, why do studios continue to hire her?

Published on April 29th, 2008 in Gwyneth Paltrow

Ashlee Dupre wants more money

Source: www.derekhail.com

Dupree was on GGW

I am simply shocked that Ashlee Dupre is trying to make easy money by suing Girls Gone Wild.

Dupre, the call girl at the center of the Gov. Eliot Spitzer scandal, alleges in the lawsuit that GGW reps approached her while she was “socializing” at Miami’s Chesterfield Hotel back in 2003, plied her with booze, and — once she was drunk — got her to flash her moneymakers.

Once Dupre became famous, GGW released the video and used it to promote the launch of their new magazine. She was only 17 at the time, she argues, so she was not old enough and “did not understand the magnitude” of what she was doing when she was signing a release … drunk. But, as TMZ first reported, she had a fake ID that said otherwise.

Well, I guess next time a 17 year old with a fake ID gets drunk and shows her breasts on camera she’ll think twice thanks to Ashlee Dupre.  She’s standing up for all women out there to teach them a valuable life lesson.  You should be careful with what you sign when you get drunk, because you might miss out on sucking some old guys balls for a couple grand.

Published on April 28th, 2008 in ashley dupré

Leah Remini is a Great Mom

Source: www.derekhail.com

Leah Remini is a horrible parent

Leah Remini was recently on the Rachel Ray show talking about her 4 year old daughter and how she basically controls her life.  The kid drinks 6-8 bottles of milk a night.

The former TV star realizes that there are also health issues involved by giving her daughter that many bottles at bedtime.  “We’re hearing that it’s not good for her.  In talking to our pediatrician, they almost fell off their chair when we said she’s still on the bottle.

“So I’m thinking maybe it’s not right.”

Leah and her husband have let Rachael Ray’s cameras film inside their home and a 24/7 look at their lives.  It’s a reality check - Leah feels guilty when her daughter is in tears and her husband wanting to do the right thing as they try to wean Sofia off the bottle.

6 Fucking Bottles?  Are you kidding me?  That kid looks like she’s at least 10 and she’s still drinking out of a bottle and wearing diapers?  Might I suggest enrolling her in the Derek Hail Summer School Program?  It’s a 3 month program involving meeting new people, arts and crafts, and nature hikes.  Sure, all that means is I lock your kids up in a room and force them to make sweatshop clothes only letting them out so they can get me more beer, but at only $10 a day, I dare you to find a cheaper way to neglect your children.

Published on April 28th, 2008 in The Other Celebrity Planet

Cheri Oteri’s Dad Was Murdered

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

The father of former Saturday Night Live cast member, Cheri Oteri, was murdered in Nashville this weekend.

Thomas Oteri, 69, was stabbed to death Saturday night by his roommate and longtime business partner, Richard Fagan, 61.

Fagan was also arrested for DUI Saturday night, after the incident, and told officers that he had an argument with Thomas at approximately 9pm and had cut him ‘across his body’ before leaving.

Oteri’s body was not discovered until Sunday afternoon when a friend visited.

Fagan has been charged with homicide.


Check Out Rihanna’s New Video

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Not exactly my type of music, but Rihanna sure looks smoking hot. Especially without all that latex/rubber sh*t on..

[Blender]

Published on April 28th, 2008 in Music, Rihanna, Videos

The Women on The View Discuss The Miley Cyrus Photos

Published on April 28th, 2008 in Controversy, Miley Cyrus, The View, Videos

Whatever Happened To That Smooth-Talking Italian Bloke?

Source: agentbedhead.com

damn

The box-office sleeper, Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, raked in $15 million over the weekend. Is it any good though, and does that even matter? Go read my review to find out the answer to this and other pressing questions, such as the plausibility of Neil Patrick Harris as the perfect cliché of a drug-addled child star.

Published on April 28th, 2008 in Film, Neil Patrick Harris, Reviews

Latest Celebrity DUI - Angie Everhart

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

angie everhart dui

Former model Angie Everhart was arrested last Thursday in the early morning hours for DUI.

She was held on $15,000 bail and was released later that morning. Rumor has it that the red haired beauty and Joe Pesci, who became engaged last summer, broke up this weekend.

A source said that Angie begged cops to take her to a bathroom so she could avoid pissing herself, and believe it or not, the police obliged by driving her to a nearby restaurant. Have you ever heard of that before? Usually they’ll just let you marinate yourself. If you have to pee that bad, you’re probably f*cked up.

Angie’s court date is set for May 15th.


Amy Winehouse in Action

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

It’s bad enough seeing pics of Amy Winehouse looking a total mess, but to see her on video takes it to a whole other level.

The massively talented junkie went through a drive-thru with her God-daughter and another female and it seems Amy could NOT hold still. Obviously high, she twitched and moved around in her seat like a three year old would. She seems quite happy though, probably because she’s loaded.

Published on April 28th, 2008 in Amy Winehouse, Celebs & Drugs, Junkies, Trainwrecks, Videos

Heather Locklear Is Photogenic

Source: yeeeah.com

heather_locklear_1.jpg

Famed southern writer Eudora Welty once wrote, “A good snapshot stops a moment from running away.” Except for in the case of Heather Locklear, where all it stops is your right hand from going anywhere near your penis.

Heather from a more flattering angle on the set of “Flirting With Forty:”

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Published on April 28th, 2008 in Bikini, Gossip, Heather Locklear, Pictures, photos


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