Archive for April, 2008

Because Scientology Is Not All Fun and Games

Source: agentbedhead.com

cruiseMarriage to Tom Cruise and hanging out with the likes of John Travolta has probably given Katie Holmes an intimate familiarity with camp, but now she’s learning to appreciate the term in a whole different context. After Katie started spouting a lot of crazy talk about going to New York to star in a Broadway show, Tom decided to send her to Scientology boot camp at Gold Base, reputedly Scientology’s cross between Camp David and Area 51. (More fun information about Gold Base, including pictures, can be seen here.) From the link, here’s a brief description of the daily schedule at Camp Runamok:

“It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes,” a Scientology insider tells Star magazine. “Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.” Tom has beefed up Katie’s Scientology training and treatments these past few weeks — because she wanted to go to New York City and star in a Broadway play. But the Top Gun star stepped in and put a halt on her plans. And now, according to reports, Katie, 29, has been subjected to a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight — with little sleep or food.

So—study of the doctrines and practices of Scientology, combined with a hands-on, full-immersion encounter with authentic North Korean culture. Sounds like an experience not to be missed. In the increasingly unlikely event that this marriage survives, Katie will have to accept that a) she will never, ever leave Tom’s side; and b) she will never, ever have an independent career that’s more successful than his. Given Tom’s current career prospects, that really ain’t good news.

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise

WTF of the Day

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

It seems people will try to call anything art!

A group of Germans are trying to expand the the boundaries of what is considered art by opening a head lice living exhibit in an Israeli museum. The young artists are hosting the nasty parasites for an entire three weeks! GAH! My skin is crawling at the thought of it! I guess we should be happy it’s not a pubic hair crab exhibition!

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Bizarre, Off Topic, That's Gross, WTF

Congratulations, It’s a Trainwreck

Source: agentbedhead.com

More celebrity pregnancy news you probably didn’t want to hear: Jamie Lynn Spears (seen here in a photo from early 2009) will be giving birth to a baby girl, sometime around the end of June. No word on the name yet, although supposedly Jamie is making a list of all the women’s names on her side of the family. One of those will be the middle name, and “something else” will be the source for the first name. I’m guessing we can all say hello to little Casey Lynne.

And so the noble Spears tradition continues. Try—just try—to imagine what it’s going to like growing up with Lynne Spears as your grandmother, Britney as your aunt, Jamie as your mother, and who knows what for a father. Britney didn’t hit the wall until she was 23, but Jamie beat her by several years, and with that family background I expect her daughter to be sneaking into clubs and starting nasty drug-fueled catfights with the other celebrity kids before she’s out of sixth grade. Suri Cruise won’t stand a chance. At any rate, it’s nice to know the Spears family will be supplying tabloid fodder into the 2020s and beyond.

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Jamie Lynn Spears

Why Don’t You Just Get Your Names Tattooed on Each Other?

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

In what seems to be a for sure jinx of their marriage before the rings are even on their fingers, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are planning their very own version of the Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey reality show, ‘Newlyweds’.

And once again, Papa Joe is the mastermind behind it. His reasoning is that after ‘Newlyweds’ Jessica ’s career caught fire, so he’s hoping to boost Ashlee’s as well.

Well, he better think of something, because she can’t sing for sh*t!

Ashlee and Pete’s publicist is, of course, denying there is any truth to supposed MTV reality show.


Alicia Keys Arrives at The Late Show with David Letterman

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Alicia Keys, Hotties

Amy Smart Is Grounded

Source: yeeeah.com

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There were no electrical accidents on the set of “Crank 2,” because actress Amy Smart’s boobs were properly labeled “Phase A Low Voltage.” Find more safety tips like these in the NFPA’s Electrical Fire Safety manual under the heading “Nipples and You: A Lesson in Conductivity.” Available online at NFPA.org.

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Published on April 30th, 2008 in Amy Smart, Boobs, Gossip, Topless, crank

What a F*cking Nut!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Scorned divorcée Tricia Walsh-Smith is back at it again.

This video is a couple of days old but I hadn’t had a chance to see it until today.

Still batty, still bitter, and still trying to accomplish Lord knows what..Tricia once again took to YouTube to vent her anger about her pending divorce to Philip Smith, president of the Shubert Organization.

This time Tricia tries to gain the public’s sympathy by telling us (over and over) about her father dying when she was 12, what a great wife she was, how much she loved her husband and why she married a man who is 25 years her senior.

She insists she didn’t marry Philip for money and is a self-made woman. If this is true, then why is she telling us if she is evicted she will be forced to live in a tent?

Anyhow, the bitch is overly dramatic and should keep her dirty laundry where it belongs….in her tent.

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Celebrity Divorce, Celebrity Exes, Crazies, divorce, exes

And Every Nickname Is A Title

Source: agentbedhead.com

Johnny RottenBilly Idol

Johnny Rotten (a.k.a. “John Joseph Lydon”):

The head Sex Pistol is said to have earned his nickname through the dubious distinction of his prematurely decaying teeth. Rotten’s nickname for his pal John Simon Ritchie was dentally inspired. too — “Sid Vicious” was borrowed from a particularly nippy pet hamster.

Billy Idol (a.k.a. “William Michael Albert Broad”):

A teacher once marked a report card for young Bill with the comment, “William is idle.” After his career went multiplatinum in the 1980s, this textbook bad boy fell off the map, going 12 album-less years before a 2005 comeback. Once again, Billy was, in fact, idle.

Much more at Spinner.com.

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Male Whores

Mariah Carey Is Engaged to Nick Cannon

Source: yeeeah.com

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Mariah Carey has yet to confirm it, but the diamond ring she’s wearing on her left hand definitely came from her new fiance Nick Cannon. According to Page Six

Cannon bought the bauble for $2.5 million at Jacob & Co, [where our] witness overheard Cannon telling Jacob they are set to marry. Carey’s new bling is 17 carats, with a whopping 10-carat center stone, and made of rare pink and purple diamonds.

Nick could have saved himself a few bucks and a little dignity if he’d just tied himself to a sleeping bear, then sounded an airhorn in its face and started poking it with sticks made of angry bees. Same results as a lifetime spent with Mariah Carey, only a hell of a lot faster and cheaper and you still get to keep your balls.

The She-Bear at the Tribeca premiere of her new movie “Tennessee” April 26th:

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Published on April 30th, 2008 in Gossip, Mariah Carey, engaged, marry, nick cannon, wedding

Pop Another Pill, Paula!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Once again, Paula Abdul is loaded on American Idol…shocking, I know.

Geeze, someone get this bitch into rehab! She doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the wall!

TMZ is also reporting that Ms. Abdul was seen enjoying at least one martini at lunch, around 1pm. Remember, all martinis are doubles..at the minimum. So mix that with a Vicodin or two and BAM! Numb as f*ck.

Cameras caught up with Abdul outside the restaurant, which had a big ol’ “Happy Hour’ sign out front. Paula was wearing sunglasses and chewing gum - probably hide her fire breath, and was a little unstable on her feet. This was four hours before taping for American Idol was to begin.

Check it out.


Michael Bay Rebuffs Uwe Boll’s Romantic Gestures

Source: agentbedhead.com

Uwe Boll Michael Bay

Sigh. Since we’ve covered the rest of this engrossing saga in rather unnecessary detail, we feel compelled to publish the latest news of Uwe Boll and his Michael Bay fetish. So, here is the latest reply from Bay himself:

Can we stop talking about this guy! I never even heard his name till last week when he made threats and rants. The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate - but uses the word “retard” in his vocabulary, come on. When you look at his videos, what is interesting are the backgrounds. I guess his low rent offices, with 15 year old 3/4 machines, archaic computers, this is just some dumb chump trying to get some fame when he has none, so he has to make Youtube lame quality anger rants. Guy just want attention because he can’t get any for the so called movies he makes. Nothing sadder when he had his screening in LA to an over half empty movie house.

He is a troubled soul - let’s just waste time on talking about him please.

M

Of course, Bay wants everyone to stop talking about this dude, yet he wastes another 143 words talking about it. These words will, no doubt, be cherished tonight as a printed out, laminated token of love underneath Uwe Boll’s pillow.

We suggest to Uwe Boll that, if he must make such threats, go right ahead and challenge Guy Ritchie to a boxing match, for the response from Madonna would be simply priceless.

Source: Michael Bay’s Official Shoot For the Edit Forums

Published on April 30th, 2008 in Eli Roth, George Clooney, Madonna, Michael Bay, Nutjobs, Uwe Boll

Paula Abdul Messes Up on Live TV

Source: yeeeah.com

I’m still not entirely convinced that people actually watch “American Idol” anymore, but if you happened to catch it last night, you caught Paula Abdul making a huge gaffe on live TV. Then you probably went back to knitting socks or reading Colossians or updating your FaceBook when you were supposed to be doing your algebra homework. TMZ recaps the evening:

Paula Abdul had a lot to say about the two songs Jason Castro sung on “Idol” Tuesday night — too bad he hadn’t sung them both yet! In rare form, Paula blabbed on about Jason’s two songs, after he had only performed once. Simon, Randy and Ryan all tried to help Paula along … to no avail.

I guess this is why you never see the Battle of the Brains teams pre-gaming it at a pharmacy. Vicodin makes remembering stuff hard. Like why you poured your gimlet into the DVD player and where you left your pants. My parole officer suggests Gingko Biloba and daily crossword puzzles instead.

Published on April 30th, 2008 in American Idol, Gossip, Paula Abdul, jason castro, mistake