Source: agentbedhead.com

This isn’t even a picture from the movie that I reviewed for last week, and I cannot even talk about why just yet. It’s just too traumatic. You’ll have to go read the review to find out why I’ve already found my vote for the Worst Film of 2008, and then — only then — shall you help me pass the burden of my suffering.

Let the healing commence. For me, anyway.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Can you figure out what’s wrong with this picture of Christina Aguilera? I’ll give you two guesses. Hint: it rhymes with “moobs.â€? Still nothing? Look again:

My superior logic tells me these are either implants encased in scar tissue or a pair of hydrocelphalitic twin stowaways on the S.S. Frankentits. Bon voyage, mateys!

The mighty vessel docked at Club Villa on Sunday:

Source: www.derekhail.com

Kim Kardashian looks like a real life Barbie doll, if a real life Barbie doll had black hair and a sensatiable appetite for penis.  I think she’s got too many curves for me.  I like those good old fashioned Pancake Asses.  Nothing says sexy like a flat ass in some baggy mom jeans.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Keira Knightley has something in common with Balki Bartokomous of “Perfect Strangers” fame, although Keira would no doubt be loathe to acknowledge the comparison. The English sourpuss recently revealed that a reason exists for why she always looks so damn miserable in photographs:

“I’m not comfortable having to be myself or being photographed as myself. Australian Aborigines say that with every photo that is taken, a piece of your soul goes with it. And there are some days when I kind of believe that.”

Such a convenient excuse, Keira. Then again, this was also the belief of Balki, who hailed from Mypos, a wholly nonexistent Mediterranean island. If only he truly existed, then he and Keira, together, could celebrate their good fortune with the “Dance of Joy.”

Hit the next page for the dance…

Previously: I ♥ Samantha Morton, Who Doesn’t ♥ Keira Knightley

Pages: 1 2

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Not more than two weeks after breaking up with his girlfriend Sophie Monk, Benji Madden is hittin’ Paris Hilton.

What a slap in the face to Monk. Major downgrade! I bet she’s glad that she came before Paris, and not after. If ya dig..

A source told People magazine, “Yes, they are dating. It’s pretty serious.” Ok, well how serious can it be in two weeks? Isn’t that about the incubation time for herpes?

Heh.

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“The priest we tapped to perform the ceremony gave us questionnaires so he could get to know us better. We filled out the forms at home…we each held a little vial of coke.”

- Valerie Bertinelli in an interview on this morning’s ‘Today’ show, saying that her 26-year marriage to Eddie Van Halen involved a lot of cocaine.

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Jamie Foxx is set to play Mike Tyson in an upcoming film based on the life of the infamous fighter.

Tyson has planned the movie for some time and has already signed Foxx up for the role.

Tyson says, “Jamie Foxx and I will be working together. He will play me in the film about my life. We already talked about it several times.”

Tyson claims he is finally clean and sober after a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse.

He says, “Even when I was training for a fight, there were no drugs, but I would drink. I had never been clean and sober my whole life. This is the first time. I’m tired of losing. I lost the trust of my family, my five kids. I didn’t like that way of life and decided to change. I saw the devil and didn’t want that.”

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

A hysterical spoof on a birth control pill that makes it to where women only have one period a year.

However, the side effects can outweigh the benefits. Heh.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

Look out, fashion world — Amy Winehouse is launching her own clothing and make-up line! For a couple of quid, you, too, can look just as sexy as the girl pictured above. London’s The Sun says

Amy has a meeting scheduled for later this week to discuss the project with fashion and cosmetics experts. A pal revealed yesterday: “There could be hairspray, head scarves, liquid eyeliner. There’s a lot of money to be made. It’s a very distinctive look.”

Well, “syphilitic pirate” and “down-on-his-luck cobbler” are distinctive looks, too, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to appeal to the public at large. And even if they did, why would the public pay to look that way when they could just pass out headlong in a drainage ditch after a night of binge drinking and huffing VCR head cleaner for free? If she really wants to appeal to her target demographic, she she come out with a line of stick-on tattoos and tooth-black and a little something called Junkie Splash^TM — now with genuine Amy Winehouse¹ urine! Hepatitis and self-loathing sold separately.

¹_{Or hobo}

Source: www.derekhail.com

What’s the best way to celebrate your nude pictorial being published? Drinkin! At least according to the “rehabbed” Lindsay Lohan. Watch as she tries to play off her drunken stumble by passing out in the car. You’re almost as clever as Carmen Sandiego Lindsay. I’ll find that crafty bitch one day.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Former Knots Landing star Joan Van Ark’s face is melting!

I can almost see the wick coming from the top of her head! If you compare the photo of her twenty years ago until now, you can really see how much she has destroyed her face over the years.

What a shame. I mean, how bad does your self-esteem have to be to do that to yourself? She could have gotten the same result by dumping hydrofluoric acid over her face.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Oh, this one is too easy!