Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Wow, ultra-hottie Eva Mendes is at the famous Cirque Lodge near Sundance, Utah.

Yes, it’s the same one Lindsay went to.

Eva has apparently been in rehab for several weeks for substance abuse. Her rep is understandably keeping quiet about the situation right now.

This one sort of shocks me. I say ’sort of’ because pretty much everyone in Hollywood is high. Everywhere they go there is dope/pills/booze for the taking. I just don’t see Eva as a coke head, it has to be pills? Regardless, best wishes go out to Eva in her recovery.

Source

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I decided to declare a snow day today because it is snowing outside and I’ve never had the excitement of school being cancelled because of the weather since I never really went to school. I am smart like that.

Unfortunately, I got bored because I don’t read and don’t watch TV and still haven’t started drinking again because of this flu and figured I’d post these pictures of Sophie Monk because she has hot legs and I have an internet crush on her.

Dreams of doing a match.com commercial together like all the other losers who meet each other on the internet are probably unlikely because Sophie Monk is just pictures to me, and being on TV with a picture I fell in love with on the internet would be pretty humiliating but I guess that is what happens when you are unsatisfied in your pathetic life, like me.

Either way, I feel the more visibility she gets, the more fans she’ll get even if only 5 of you actually read the site and that will give her the taste of success that will lead to wanting more. When she realizes that the only way to get more is to get more naked and that will give me something more interesting to look at than my own belly hanging over the computer, despite how exciting that may sound.

Realted Posts:

Sophie Monk Jogging A Bit For Me To Jerk Off To
Sophie Monk’s Got some Pretty Good Tits
Sophie Monk Shopping is Hotter than You Shopping
Sophie Monk Must Be Gay Cuz Her Fiance Is a Vagina
Sophie Monk’s Hot Legs

Source: yeeeah.com

Here’s Pete Wentz sitting in the sidelines with “girlfriend” Ashlee Simpson at the DirecTV Beach Bowl in Scottsdale yesterday. I figured he was just there because the low humidity in Arizona did wonders for his flat ironed hair, but it turns out he was actually there to sing or something. It was awfully brave of him not to bring a parasol or a strand of pearls with him to the game. I guess could just clutch Ashlee while fanning himself with a lace kerchief or touch penises with the guy sitting next to him when he felt the vapors coming on or whatever it is that the emos do when they’re not overdosing on Ativan and skulking around in clothing three sizes too small. Namely crying during gym class.

¹_{And because he got to wear eye black, which is like eye liner times ten.}

Ashlee at her Super Bowl party at Myst on Thursday:

Source: www.derekhail.com

I don’t know what to think about Ellen Pompeo.  Sometimes she looks smoking hot and other times she looks like this.  I don’t mind the no bra, but who goes jogging in a long sleeved shirt and jeans?  She looks like she’s strung out on crack.  Normally women that look like crack whores are funny, but when it’s a hot chick it’s just sad.  I’m not sure which side Ellen falls into.  Probably somewhere in the middle.  Which makes everything I just wrote useless.  Wait where am I?  Listen, I’ve been drinking.  Sue me.

Source: yeeeah.com

More Britney Spears, because the power of Christ compels me:

Britney’s family is trying to cut all of her ties to Hollywood and her douchebag entourage, instructing her lawyers cease talking with Sam Lutfi and making plans to take her back home to Louisiana. I hate to break it to them, but there’s still plenty o’ meth in the great state of Louisiana! And if there’s one thing Britney likes, it’s her meth. According to the National Enquirer

Britney Spears had been on a 24-hour meth binge before she was rushed to the hospital. Ironically, she was desperately trying to stay awake — because she was terrified that if she fell asleep, her family would “drag her off to a mental institution,” according to a close source.

Additionally, TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears has been classified as “G.D.” by the staff at UCLA Medical Center. Now, G.D. doesn’t stand for “God Damn that girl is fucked up” or “Ugh, she Got Diarrhea all over the wall again” — it stands for “Gravely Disabled.”

[Being classified G.D.] means the patient is unable to take care of basic needs, such as the acquisition of food, clothing or shelter. Being G.D. is one of the criteria for involuntary commitment.

Several health care professionals tell us Britney has fallen into a “manic state” due to her bipolar disorder. She arrived at the hospital this morning at around 2:15 AM, but wasn’t admitted until 4:15 AM because she was causing such a scene. We’re told Britney screamed, “The only reason [my mother’s] admitting me is because she wants to be alone with her boyfriend! She wants to sleep with my boyfriend!!” Britney never said exactly who she was talking about.

That would mean Britney honestly believes her mother wants to boink one of the following:

1. Adnan Ghalib

2. Kevin Federline

3. Sam Lutfi

The bitch is clearly delusional. There is nobody in the world except for Britney who would want their genitals within a five-mile radius of these losers. Seriously, I don’t even know where to start. You could ask somebody, “Hey, would you like to have sex with one of these guys, or could I interest you in expressing this pack of angry dogs’ anal glands?” That’s when you’d reach for the Vaseline and thank God for groin protectors and latex gloves.

Britney the night before the hospital, take 2:

Source: yeeeah.com

Britney Spears seems to be setting a crazy trend here lately, with “Grey’s Anatomy” star Justin Chambers checking into the very same UCLA psych ward this week and actress Kirsten Dunst reportedly teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown herself. According to Page Six

Kirsten Dunst’s strange ways have tongues wagging that she’s “on the verge of a breakdown.” The starlet came late, left early, and “acted erratic” during a recent event at Sundance, according to insiders. Friends of the actress made apologies on her behalf, saying, “Kirsten is not in a good place right now.” Dunst, who split from Razorlight rocker boyfriend Johnny Borell last year, has not been photographed or spotted out in recent weeks.

I’d guess the breakdown has less to do with a relationship gone sour and more to do with the “fish out of water” syndrome. Kirsten’s type are most comfortable hiding under a bridge and bellowing riddles to wayfaring gnomes, not posing for pictures on the red carpet. You know, “Answer me these questions three!” and stealing babies and other such troll inclinations. I’m sure it gets hard living so far out of your element.

Kirsten hobgobbling around Sundance:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“Gene tried to pick up my beautiful daughter Ivanka. Now Gene’s a friend of mine and he’s a great guy, (but) I don’t want him with Ivanka.”

- Donald Trump on his former ‘apprentice’ Gene Simmons.

Source

Source: www.derekhail.com

Normally pregnant chicks scare me, but Jessica Alba has yet to reach that level yet.  I think it’s mostly because her rack is growing at an amazing rate.  Those things are good.  I just hope she doesn’t get those saggy “post-baby” saggy boobs.  Ugh.  I don’t know why she would go and ruin her body by getting pregnant so young.  She could have had at least 5 more years of being the hottest chick in Hollywood.  Ya Blew It Jessica.  Ya Blew It.

Source: yeeeah.com

Every now and then you wake up without an impending sense of dread in the pit of your stomach or dried whiskey vomit in your hair and think to yourself, “Today is going to be a good day. I can just feel it.” Well, today is one of those days, my friends. And I have TMZ to thank for it:

Our sources say Britney said she was on Adderall, a stimulant used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder, and was taking up to ten laxatives a day. Cameras caught Spears a few days ago picking up a bagful of laxatives.

Ten laxatives a day. My goodness. That’s a lot of pooping. All I can think of is that scene from Dumb and Dumber with Jeff Daniels akimbo on the toilet, cross-eyed and sputtering as he clutches the rim of the crapper for dear life. Only then I imagine him in a slightly askew pink wig and enormous sunglasses with a Yorkie in a headlock and a cigarette bouncing between his lips as he squeaks out “Oh, beastly lot! Bugger and blast! Sod it all! Pip pip cheerio!” and then a forceful bloooosh and a chorus of high-pitched farts. God, it gets funnier every time. Extra funny if you can imagine “Oops I Did It Again” playing in the background the whole time she’s spray-painting the inside of the toilet.

Britney stocking up on Correctal: