Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Jessica Alba arriving at The Late Show with David Letterman yesterday. It looks like she’s putting a little baby weight on, in her face at least. Still gorgeous though, of course!

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Tara Reid doesn’t really need a reason to party, bitch will get wasted just to celebrate waking up in the morning, but for some reason she’s out celebrating Chinese New Year this past weekend with her little gay friend like she was Chinese. There’s something really arousing about seeing a girl in a stained dress leaving a party wasted that makes the animal in me want to follow her back home like I was invited to watch her sleep. Unfortunately never sleeps, she just keeps on going like some lifelong rave Energizer Bunny hopped up on substances so I guess I can only dream of making some more stains that count on her dress, none of this too drunk to hold my drink so I spill on myself bullshit, I’m talking about semen and vomit….two things that go hand it hand when it comes to me.

Here are Some Bonus Pics from the Event of some Hot Body Painted Chick and Some Sarah Jessica Parker Bitch Named Hofit Golan With Her Retarded Big Tits

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson (with tag-a-long Ken Paves of course) had a blast last night at the Key Club in Hollywood.

Metal Skool was playing and they insisted that Tony come up and belt out Journey’s 80s anthem, ‘Don’t Stop Believin’. Tony didn’t seem too hip on the idea until the band got everyone cheering, ‘Pussy!’ at him.

Guys are so easy to convince to do anything. Just call them a pussy and they’ll do it. It’s so simple. Heh.

We have to give it up for Tony though, he went through with it knowing he was going to suck. He still had a good time even though he couldn’t get Jessica to sing with him, and it looks like the crowd did too.

Source

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Her name is Diora Baird and she’s some kind Guess? Model who did Playboy. These are supposed to be some kind of amateur self-shot pictures she took but they look like they are from the 70s and bitch was only born in ‘83, so I don’t really get it. But I am not the smartest dude out there. I do know that she’s got bush going on and everyone knows that from the time she was 18, bush didn’t exist and the brazilian had already killed pubic hair around the globe. Murderer.

Either way, she’s topless, and despite lookin’ like she’s on the set of Roseanne, or part of some trailer park film festival, her tits are big and worth lookin’ at.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Girl: “How does Woody Harrelson manage to grow more unattractive with each passing day?”

Boy: “By smoking pot.”

Girl: “Oooh, Javier Bardem!”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Is Britney Spears‘ family finally coming together to stage an intervention? It appears this is the case, as her parents, sister, cousin and friends were all spotted at her home last night night.

TMZ:

“If it happens,” it should happen this week. Last night, Brit’s mom, Lynne, her dad, Jamie, cousin Alli, as well as Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib all showed up at Britney’s house and were all there at the same time.

Brit’s mom and dad (and others) have known for months that a bipolar disorder — and not substance abuse — is at the root of her problems. They cannot involuntarily commit her (impossible under these circumstances) and Brit has refused to voluntarily enter a hospital or even undergo evaluation for the problem. But now the plan is underway.

Here’s what’s significant: Britney has not spoken to her mom for a while — no contact at all. Last night, Britney and Lynne (along with Sam) left the house at one point and went to the drugstore, so it seems they are now interacting.

There were signs last night that Britney didn’t feel as warm toward her dad, that she didn’t want anything to do with him.

This move has been in the planning stages for well over a month. It should begin to unfold IF Britney cooperates, and that is the wild card.

BTDub, this “creative” intervention is different from what her divorce lawyers pitched to Commissioner Scott Gordon last week. They are not involved in this one.

This would be great news, if Britney would agree and then commit to something, but why is it I don’t see this happening?  She can’t even show up to court for her own children. Why would she do anything to help herself? I do hope she gets the help she needs, but I don’t have faith that will happen.  Don’t hold your breath..

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

The Hollywood pregnancies keep coming! Is there an incubus going around knocking these bitches up or what?

Gwen Stefani and hot hubby Gavin Rossdale are the latest couple to be expecting. It looks like little Kingston will have a playmate before long.

Stefani is reportedly 13 weeks along. She has been hinting for the past year that she’s wanted another baby.

Gwen and Gavin weren’t available for comment but Grandpa Rossdale is looking forward to the family addition. He says, “He [Kingston] is a great lad, and we are very much looking forward to another grandchild.”

Hollywood is going to be a mess around the year 2025! Just think of all the offspring that will be roaming the streets then!  Scary!

Source

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So these pictures were called Rachel Hunter braless at the beach and I figured I’d post them even though I can’t tell whether bitch is in a bra or not and don’t really see why it matters if she is in a bra or not. Caring about whether a washed up model has a bra on or not is pretty fucking desperate but the good news for Rachel Hunter is that her tits are perkier than Britney. Then again my limp penis is perkier than Britney’s tits and if Britney’s tits were shit, they’d be diarrhea.

Either way, good job Rachel Hunter for finding herself some kind of boy toy who probably used to jerk off to her swinsuit modeling pics in the 80 before he became rich enough to seduce her. I can’t really tell how old he is, but I can tell that he’s definitely not taking Rachel and her big-ness to the gym with him. This is probably not the best way to end a post, but I am still sick and still have a fever so I really don’t care about trying to think up a closer. Asshole.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

These are some pictures that hit last week and I wanted to post them but never really got to them because I am lazy even though they are funny. I was going to go off about how period’s aren’t natural again, because it seemed to be a hit with the feminist lesibians, but I decided to tell you a little story about this retarded dude I once knew and his dog who loved periods more than the average guy, even though the average guy secretly fucking loves periods because it means we didn’t knock our bitch up this month and it’s a time for celebration, a celebration that only lasts about a minute until we realize that our bitches are going to be pains in the ass, not put out and expect us to be sensitive to their needs for the next 5 days.

That said, this retarded dude I knew had this dog and he would take his dog on walks and this dog would sniff more pussy than a lesbian pornstar and every single time the dog would work it’s way into a stranger’s cunt, the retard would point and laugh and scream “you’re on your period” then laugh hysterically. The girls he would usually embarrass doing this too would usually just blush and walk away as fast as she could to get away from the creepy retard, but one time he did it to a teenager who was with her father and apparently father’s don’t like retards talking about their teenage daughter’s periods and the retard got institutionalized and his period-sniffing dog was sent into the police force as is doing really well sniffing out drugs at the airport. I lied about the last part. It happens.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

The thing I like about Maria Menounos isn’t the fact that she is greek and takes it up the ass because I hear that that is a rumor and that greek girls don’t actually take it up the ass with any less convincing than non-greek girls. It’s just an urban myth that is fun to throw in “bro’s” faces at clubs when they are “poppin” bottles surrounded by hot chicks while hugging each other and you’re alone in the corner with your friend from elementary school who has always been there for you, sipping on your draft beer.

The other thing I like about Maria Menounos is that she’s driving an Audi A6 that is obviously a nicer car than I have, but the kid down the street’s skateboard is a nicer car than I have. But I do know that the Audi is just one step up from a Volkswagen and that’s not very ballin’ for someone on TV and that leads me to think that she’s pretty much the poor girl amongst her rich coworkers and is possibly the kind of girl who doesn’t need to get with other celebrities, but is satisfied with Doctors, Lawyers and rich business men and that may not lead us to her vagina, but I’m happily married so fuck that noise.

I think the real reason I am posting these pictures is not because of her hot ass in her business casual pants or her tits busting out of her bra under her tight white shirt or the fact that I can zoom into her credit card info so that I can go on an internet shopping spree on her tab, but it is the fact that she’s pumping her own gas like she doesn’t mind getting down and dirty and that is my new porn.

I spent all day saturday at the local self-serve watching all kinds of bitches struggle with their gas and washing their windshields and having the hardest time figuring out how to pay on the machine, while I sat there drinking my coffee and smoking cigars. I am pretty sure that’s the reason why I am sick, but it was worth it because now I have something to imagine myself jerking off to, since I am non-threatening and can’t get hard and it was free in a world where nothing comes free.

Source: yeeeah.com

Heath Ledger’s relationship Michelle Williams wasn’t the only casualty of his addiction to heroin and cocaine; a celebrity assistant claiming to be a part of his inner circle claims his spiraling drug use was on the verge of costing him his only child as well. According to the Daily Mail

“[Heath said that Michelle thought] he was a bad influence on Matilda [and that] she was going for sole custody. She wanted nothing to do with him and… in the last couple of weeks that really pushed him over the edge. He was getting more reckless than ever with cocaine and heroin. His use of downers was also getting heavier because he needed them to sleep. By the time he started work last [month] on The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, [co-star] Christopher Plummer said he assumed he had “walking pneumonia”.

Heath was not the type to have killed himself. The way I hear it, he went out the night before, he was doing cocaine, he wasn’t able to sleep, and the investigators think he woke up, didn’t remember taking sleeping pills and then took what accidentally was an overdose.”

It’s curious that a guy who lost his fiancee and faced losing his only child because he was so strung out on drugs had nary a pipe nor a syringe in the whole of his apartment. Not a thing to suggest he was an out-of-control addict. Just a wayward rolled-up twenty on a desk. It’s also curious that it took the masseuse almost thirty minutes after discovering his body to actually call the police. Maybe she was too busy cross-stitching a sampler or making Baked Alaska in the meantime. Of course, there are those who believe that she was busy scouring the place for baggies and paraphernalia. Not so, says TMZ:

[There are] reports that there may have been a sinister plot to remove illegal drugs from Ledger’s apartment before cops and firemen arrived… that the masseuse called Mary-Kate Olsen and a plot was hatched to have her bodyguard remove certain drugs. Authorities tell us that’s impossible, because the cops were there the entire time the bodyguard was present and there would have been no opportunity to carry out such a plan. They say it’s a made up story.

It sounds strange, but it’s possible the actor died of natural causes. It could have been a heart attack. Although it’s bizarre that a 28-year-old could die of natural causes, it happens.

They’re right — it does happen. Lots of perfectly healthy men die unexpectedly while still in their twenties. It’s called Bubonic Plague and it was all the rage in Europe in the 14th century. Maybe the cops should look into that, too.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

These are supposed to be pictures of Uma Thurman in a bikini from about a week ago. I really don’t know where she is but I do know what she’s doing and that is making out with a dude like she’s some kind of town whore. This is the first step in getting pregnant, but by the looks of this dude’s gay face, I think it may be the first step in getting AIDS. I am just bitter because I am still sick as fuck and the words on my screen are floating around like Uma’s big ol’ titties float in the ocean or her tongue in dude’s mouth….but that doesn’t make me question why she’s rockin’ that wrist brace, I can only assume it’s for hand jobs because her man doesn’t mind kissing but he sure as hell doesn’t like Vagina, he just like the glamor that comes with dating Uma like trying on all her gowns and attending red carpet events like he’s important and making out with her on the beach is just a small price to pay for all that.

Either way, here she is in a bikini and making out in a wrist brace because she has hot tits.

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