Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here is Caridee English from America’s Next Top model fame, realizing that Tyra’s show wasn’t much of a stepping stone that leads to work after winning the 100,000 dollar contract she won because every year they throw another model with no business being a model into the mix with the same prize.

I am all for posting pictures of girls whoring themselves even when that whoring isn’t the kind of whoring I am a fan of that takes place in back alleys and seedy motels that rent by the hour and involve drug addiction and all that good stuff.

So now that Caridee’s 100,000 dollars only went so far for her so she does whatever she can to get by. One of those things is going to Verizon Blackberry launches and whoring for them, so that she can get a free phone and plan because one less bill when you’re not making money is a good thing, but another good thing is that when you are a tall thin blonde girl with a hot body, there is always better ways to whore yourself to make money when all those hopes of dreams of being a legitimate success are replaced with having to buy yourself some groceries or tampons….and I’m talking sucking dick and I’ll be there to post the pictures because I am always doing my part to help….

Source: yeeeah.com

This is all news to me, but apparently actor Matthew McConaughey doesn’t wear anything that inhibits his natural smell. That means no cologne and no deodorant. And he hasn’t worn it for more than 20 years. According to Page Six

While on the set of Fool’s Gold, actress Kate Hudson begged the shirtless one to scrap his long-standing anti-deodorant policy. “She always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, ‘Would you please put this on?’” he said. “I just never wore it. No cologne, no deodorant.”

Matthew [insists] that the ladies dig it, saying, “The women in my life, including my mother, have all said, ‘Hey, your natural smell smells, one, like a man, and, two, smells like you.’” Kate, apparently, was an exception. Not that he’s against hygiene. He brushes his teeth at least five times a day and claims, “I take a few [showers] a day.”

Total surprise. I always imagined Matthew McConaughey would smell like virility and handsomeness. I wouldn’t have in a million years pictured him smelling like a cabbie in the middle of July. But even without the deodorant, there have still got to be hundreds of celebrities that smell worse than Matt. To save time, I’ll just list ten:

10. Paris Hilton — straight up jizz

9. Tara Reid — vodka, but with base notes of jizz and cigarette butts

8. Kirstie Alley — kung pao chicken and krispy kreme

7. Jared Leto — Always with Wings^TM

6. Rumer Willis — potatoes

5. Andy Dick — jizz and nasal drip coke breath

4. Courtney Love — cheap whiskey and vomit

3. Amy Winehouse — tears and three-day gin bender sweat

2. Fergie — tinkle and synthetic estrogen

AND THE NUMBER ONE SMELLIEST CELEBRITY:

1. Britney Spears — sweat, cheetos, and Marlboro Lights, with a whiff of menstruation

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I don’t think Britney is any crazier than the bitch I used to date who woke me up with a knife to my throat because she thought I was cheating on her with the checkout clerk at the grocery store because I told her she was cute, or the bitch I found overdosed in the bathtub convulsing after having sex with me, or the bitch who used to fuck everything that walked behind my back and would come home to me begging me to marry her, or even my current wife who emotionally eats herself to death but really doesn’t give me all that many headaches except when she doesn’t shower.

So this whole Britney bi-polar shit is just excuses or labels on things that really don’t need labels, because the reality is that Britney is just a chick and in being a chick she’s just emotionally unstable and I blame it on her period.

Either way, she’s running around in see-through halter tops that make us all feel like we are lying in her bed and she’s dressing up all sexy for us in hopes of having a special night together that leads to making a replacement baby for her and this whole free-spirited take on life is pretty fuckin’ entertaining, because the people want to know and Britney’s giving us what we want and crazy or not, that’s a pretty nice gift. Thanks.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

The thing I like about girls who dress like boys is that they have vaginas, the thing I don’t like about girls who dress like boys is that they dress like boys. I was never a fan of the skater chicks even though they were the tom boys who’d get wasted with you, wrestle with you and spit on hot chicks with you. They would never worry about getting dirty or messy but with never worrying about getting dirty comes a whole lot of smells I’d rather not get down with. But when her crusty baggy jeans she’s been wearing all week slipped off and her dirty skate shoes that make her feet smell like dude come off and her drunken mismatched sock wearing ass crawls into your bed and that ass is on a fit little body from all the running around pretending like she’s a female Steve-O while learning how to Ollie and moshing at punk concerts, makes the cross dressing ok.

Either way, the word in Canada is that Avril is pregnant according to Sum 41’s friend, which only seems normal, since everyone is fucking pregnant and let’s hope that video from the birth gets leaked on the internet, because watching babies squeeze out of celebrity vagina is my new porn.

Source: yeeeah.com

Actress Sean Young of “Blade Runner” and “No Way Out” fame (?) was physically ejected from the Directors Guild of America party last weekend for being a belligerent drunken ass. Young also famously attempted to score the role of Catwoman from Michelle Pfeifer in “Batman Returns” by showing up in a homemade costume in the middle of shooting. Yeah, I still don’t know who she is, either, but drunk people acting like jackasses is funny. So according to Page Six

Young “began screaming in French” when [”La Vie en Rose” star Marion] Cotillard took the stage to present an award [and] could be heard “breaking into song.” But it was when [Julian Schnabel, director of “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”] took the stage to make a brief speech “that she really went kook, yelling at him to ‘get on with it’ and to ‘move it on’… Julian yelled back at her to ‘have another drink, honey’ and started to leave the stage before the crowd yelled at him to stay. He continued to talk and Sean stood up and made a big production of putting on her white fur coat, walking around in a circle and then taking her seat again.” Finally, when a team of security guards swooped in to remove Young, “she tried to throw a punch at [them].”

And then a bunch of Hollywood kiss-asses intervened and sent the S.S. Partytown to rehab yesterday. It’s a damn shame. Sean Young is exactly what all of those boring awards shows were missing. Someone to liven up the ceremony and make it watchable — scream a little, sing a little, swear in another language and throw a couple of punches. The bastards escorted her out right before her pièce de résistance Saturday, which I have on good authority involved her bare boobs and a surprise vomit on an unsuspecting patron before Chris Farleying a buffet table loaded with champagne glasses. You can send all your complaints and hate mail directly to the Director’s Guild of America.

Source: agentbedhead.com

“I was like the Miley Cyrus of my generation” - Debbie Gibson

She forgot about the “less slutty” aspect . . .

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: yeeeah.com

After a romantic date at Il Sole Monday night, quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson hit up the “Metal Skool” karaoke night at Key Club in L.A. Us Weekly says

The Dallas Cowboys quarterback [took] the stage. Romo’s pick: Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” As he belted out the hit, Simpson alternated between kissing him on the cheek, wrapping her arms around him and staring dreamily into his eyes. “He was singing directly to her — and she was on cloud nine,” a witness there told Us.

Wow. The only way that guy gets any douchier is if he single-handedly destroyed the Cowboy’s chance at Superbowl-dom and his last name rhymed with “homo.” Oh, wait…

A couple of drunk Jess climbing into Homo’s SUV and some candids at LAX over the weekend:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

According to BauerGriffinOnline.com, Brian Austin Green was having lunch on the patio with a buddy at the Daily Grill in Studio City when he was heard rambling for over an hour about his relationship with girlfriend Megan Fox. The source says it sounded as though the couple may be on the outs.

He began comparing Megan to the girl that he had been going out with before her who he’d broken up with for Fox, saying that Fox is behaving just like her. Apparently, the 21-year-old Transformer star is extremely set in her ways. The entire relationship was based on her terms, beginning with a “white board,” upon which the pair would document the amount of time allotted to their relationship, family, and work. Green strove to maintain a fifty percent balance between time spent each other, and time spent apart. Fox, however, would sneak behind his back and erase planned dates with Green in order to have more time away from him. In fact, she would regularly cancel plans at the last moment, often by text. Throughout their turbulent relationship, Fox would threaten to get her lawyer involved in their disputes, while Green expressed his shock to his friend as he has never had a personal attorney in his “entire” life. He complained animatedly about how “unfair” their relationship was.

The obviously heart-broken Green went on to say that the young actress and budding star could never sit still and couldn’t stand silence yet would moon in bed all day when they had a fight.

After ragging on Fox for close to an hour, the two men realized that the people at the table next to them might have overheard everything they said. Green seemed nervous and his friend asked the other diners if they had been eavesdropping because “that would be really bad.” Looks like Fox has finally moved on!

Ok, I could have maybe believed the story up until the end. Asking other diners if they were eavesdropping? Not very believable. I’m surprised these two are still together anyhow. Meg is so out of his league.

Source: yeeeah.com

After a fight with manager Sam “Napoleon” Lutfi left her visibly shaken Monday night, Britney spent Tuesday on a free-for-all shopping spree. First stop on the spending express? A CVS down in the valley. According to Page Six

Britney Spears had something else to cry about last night — her credit card was declined. At a drugstore in the San Fernando Valley, the singer’s Black American Express Card was shot down. Of course, the money trouble didn’t stop Brit from hitting up the Beverly Hills Hotel with Sam and mom Lynne before moving on to a Mercedes dealership.

Well, that’s because you can’t decline Benjamin Franklin, baby! Britney paid for her new SLK 350 Mercedes in cash. But despite driving off in the black-on-black $55,000 two-seater, the trip to the dealership wasn’t exactly all fun and unchecked spending. People Magazine says

According to an insider, “Lynne and Britney were arguing in the car the whole time. They’re both upset, not having a good time at all. After [Britney] came out [of the dealership], she pulled over to the side of the road to argue with her mom more.”

Somehow the screaming matches with her best friend and the heated arguments with her estranged mother haven’t cured Britney of her bizarre behavior, because later the same afternoon, she was seen shopping again with Lutfi and even more out of it than ever. The insider continues

“She was talking in a slight accent. She really wanted some Bubblelicious gum and she kept asking Sam for it and got frustrated when he didn’t have any. Her mood lifted when she found some in her bag.”

There is almost something tragically Flowers for Algernon-esque about Britney’s last few months. Not the similar loss of innocence or the “partaking of the Tree of Knowledge” metaphor per se, but, you know — the whole “retarded mouse” bit. If Algernon had dinner plate sized nipples and crappy British accent, I’d almost swear it was a story about Britney. Except it was written in 1961 and the mouse was supposed to get really smart at some point. Too bad “Dumb and Dumber” wasn’t ever a novel, or I’d have a great literary reference to end this post.

You can make out a good bit of nipple here, but I deem them LSFW because she’s wearing a shirt:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Alicia Silverstone, Rolling Stone magazine, September 7, 1995

Rolling Stone

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Raised in an affluent Connecticut community and never part of the ‘in-crowd,’ Cordelia rebelled with partying and guys. She says she wasn’t very popular in high school and after her parents divorced, she got involved with a fast crowd that led her to a wild lifestyle. Cordelia is stripping to pay for school, and she aspires to be a lawyer. She’s engaged to a nice guy named Taylor, but questions whether she is ready to get married and commit to him.

1. What made you want to be apart of a show like this?
I never saw myself as a “reality show” type of person. I mean, we all grow up watching the Real World and thinking we could be “that girl”, but I never envisioned myself as part of something like this. UNTIL I watched season one of The Bad Girls Club. Something clicked, and I knew I had to go to a casting call because this had “Cordelia” written all over it. For a long time, even in high school I called myself a “bad girl”. I loved that a show was dedicated to girls who did and said whatever they wanted, no matter what anyone had to say about it.

2. Do you have any concerns about what family and friends might see you do?
Being an adult entertainer, I think that if anyone was going to be shocked by my actions, they would have been by now. Ha. Ha. No honestly, I’m a bit worried what my grandmother will say, but other than her, I couldn’t possibly care less.

3. What is a “bad girl”?
A bad girl is a woman who does what she wants to do, even if it isn’t “normal” or “mainstream”. She is a free thinking girl who doesn’t decide the way her life is going to be based upon the opinion others’ might hold of her. She is sexy because she says so, and does everything with a smirk on her face, even if it’s flipping you off.

4. Did you watch the first season? What did you think of the original girls?
There were some true “bad girls”, but there were a few who thought some makeup and a pair of “f-me” heels qualified them. I saw too much whining. Way too much bullshit. This season is going to rock b/c we are going to be waaaaaay better than those Season 1 brats.

5. Did you leave a boyfriend/girlfriend behind to do the show? How does he/she feel about this?
I left behind a fiance, who was not very pleased with my decision. He, however, had no choice because I wanted to go and find out a few things about myself. It’s my life, and I will never have any man tell me what I can or cannot do.

6. Describe yourself in 3 words.
Snarky, smart, entertaining

Read the rest after the cut!

7. What’s something no one would expect about you?
Upon first meeting me, everyone is usually pretty surprised with my adult industry background. Once people know me, they’re a bit shocked by how nice I can be. (When I want to, of course)

8. Do you have any hidden talents?
Hmmmm….. I have VERY impressive road rage.

9. What a sets you off?
1. Hypocrites 2. People who judge me for being an adult entertainer, rather than getting to know me. 3. People who are close-minded or judgmental. The best way to get me really heated is to be discriminatory with no basis or reason. It doesn’t matter if it’s about me or not, I hate ignorance.

10. Have you ever been arrested?
Yes, I was sorry for what I had done, completed my volunteer service, and walked out with a clean record and no desire to break the law ever again.

11. Why will people want to watch you?
Because I do things that people secretly wish they could do. I’m the girl telling you what I REALLY think, or the girl doing a wild (but fun) thing, and I think that every woman, no matter what they say, has a “bad girl” in them somewhere. I think people will identify with that.

12. What can the other girls learn from you?
Hmmm….. That’s a hard question, considering I haven’t met my housemates yet. Um I guess that I would hope that the girls will get to know me, and not judge me for my past, which will force them in the future to think a bit before forming opinions of others.

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