Source: agentbedhead.com

Back in the Nineties, when people actually paid attention to the Gallagher brothers and Oasis, the band’s feud with rival group Blur was good for gallons of ink and gazillions of pixels from the British tabloid press. Some of us hoped the two bands might settle matters with a head-to-head playoff, preferably on a cruise ship that plowed into an iceberg made of frozen nitroglycerine at the height of the festivities. But passions cooled down, and now both groups are more than a little passé.

But not completely dead. Rumor has it that Blur and Oasis might rehash their feud on a special episode of The Weakest Link (don’t hold your breath). More interestingly, it’s possible that the Gallaghers might team up with Blur members Alex James and Damon Albarn to leave the music behind and make beautiful cheese together. In the memorable words of Alex James, “[cheese] was the glue that held Blur together for so long,” and supposedly Liam and Noel share his passion for the moldy stuff. The four are talking about creating a high-potency Stilton that could make its debut at the Brit music awards, hopefully as an alternative dessert course. Some think this story is too ridiculous to believe, but the truth is that Alex really is a dairy farmer and a serious cheesehead, who believes cheesemaking can redeem even the likes of the Gallagher brothers. According to the source: “He had the masterplan of creating something constructive through the medium of cheese, which would mark their maturity.” And about damn time.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Belinda Carlisle looks fabulous, still! Unfortunately there aren’t pics of the other band members, just a ton of Belinda. I wanted to be her back in the day. She’s still hot and the Go-Go’s still rule!

Source: www.derekhail.com

US Magazine is reporting that Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were seen making out at an LA Club.

Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club Tuesday night, a source tells Usmagazine.com.

“Who knew?” says the source of the unlikely pairing.

Hilton, 26, and Cuthbert, 25 (who costarred in 2005’s House of Wax), didn’t arrive at Tenjune together. Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. “It’s Paris,” says the source. “She loves putting on a show.”

This sounds like possibly the fakest story of all time. We all know that Paris is a complete whore, but Elisha seems really stuck up and I doubt she would explore her lesbian tendencies in the middle of an event in LA. In other news, the mere mention of Elisha Cuthbert and lesbian tendencies has caused me to explode in my pants.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

(Click to play obligatory Britney circus music)

The craziness outside Britney’s home captured on film

Sam’s Story - Extending His 15 Minutes

Because I Loathe X17, I will link this story instead. Sam Lufti is acting like the big man in charge here. Apparently he and X17 exchanged text messages with Lufti describing how Adnan and Lynne have been in contact for weeks, why the doctor decided to hospitalize Britney - it was NOT a suicide attempt, that doctors are coming to him for information, NOT Adnan or the family and other crap he should be keeping to himself. Why is the loser in contact with the press anyhow? Scumbag parasite.

Bitter Fight Over Britney in Hospital

Apparently Britney gave some control to Sam after her last hospitalization. She had her lawyers outline some papers that made it clear her parents have no say in any medical decisions regarding her. Brit’s dad went ape sh*t and lost it on Lufti in the hospital, screaming and even assaulting him - in front of Britney.

Britney Hadn’t Slept Since Saturday

Britney’s hospital visit is going much smoother for her this time around. She should be staying for approximately 72 hours - possibly longer. She is in much better spirits and has even joked about being committed. She has been seeing a psychiatrist daily and hadn’t slept since last Saturday.

Lynne Wants to Bring Britney Home to Louisianna

As soon as Britney is released Lynne is hoping to take Brit back to her hometown. Lynne wants to get Britney away from Hollywood and away from her circle of hangers-on. Good luck with that, Lynne.

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Video Clips

Dr. Phil just can’t keep his fat mouth shut. He was on this mornings The View, talking to the women about Britney’s situation again. He claims that he doesn’t want to be her therapist, he merely wants to help her get the help she needs. He also says he has never - and will never - disclose the personal situations that have taken place between he and the family. He stands by his decision to visit Britney during her last hospitalization, but does regret making statements to the press. Whatever.

Source: yeeeah.com

Brad Pitt is reportedly through with acting and gearing up to enter the political arena. Probably because Angelina told him to. The Daily Mail says

Sources in the Democratic Party say he has been approached to run for mayor of New Orleans. His decision to follow into politics would certainly explain the couple’s decision to buy a £2million home in the disaster-hit Louisiana city.

He has hired his own “philanthropic adviser” Trevor Neilsen, who worked for President Clinton’s Washington administration, to boost his humanitarian credentials and set up his own “Make It Right” campaign to build ecohomes in New Orleans’ Ninth Ward.

To think — a marshmallow running the “Chocolate City.” Now that’s unexpected! The hardest thing about that would be deciding which dark-skinned immigrant group got to be the graham cracker crust in your delicious racial metaphor.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

These are obviously some old pictures of Alena Seredova because she had a kid less than a month ago and no one, no matter how fast her C-Section Tummy Tuck combo heals bounces back this fast, especially when you’re eastern European and your medical facilities involve a Windmill, 3 drunken Military Men, a Nuclear Reactor, a black and white TV and a circus bear that balances on a basketball while eating sausage and drinking cheap rationed communist beer.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I do know that I like looking up this bitch’s Eastern European, knocked up by an Italian Football player’s, log legged skirt, because I am international like that, but not as international as the pervert with the camera phone because I never leave my couch. Cuddles.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I have a thing for Sophie Monk because I find her pretty fucking hot and because she’s got pretty horrible taste in dudes meaning that if only I was a rich, tattooed cunt in a band who girls find hot, I’d be climbing up those thighs and dropping loads in her Koala pouch because she is Australia and I’m no Steve Irwin because apparently Kangaroos have pouches and Koalas don’t. I never said this was the nature channel, except when I posted the Kardashian sex tape, but that’s just mild racism for a couple laughs and not actual fact.

Either way, the word on the internet is that she is recently single and based on her going out and jogging, I can only assume that is true, because everyone knows that a bitch lookin’ for cock goes out jogging in spandex to be seen, while a chick who’s committed to cock and planning on marrying that cock, just works out at home on the treadmill, before actually marrying him then giving up the whole working out thing, gaining 60 pounds making him regret what he signed up for and forcing him to cheat on her with her younger tighter sister and pretty much any vagina that comes his way until she finds out she just keeps on emotionally eating the pain away before mustering up the courage to divorce him for being doing what he did, even though she knows it’s his fault, then taking up working out again to get back into her original hot body shape to find more cock because that’s the best revenge. Look what you’re missing now Good Charlotte Twin….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

These are pictures of Paris Hilton hanging out with Christine Lakin dressed in character from Paris Hilton’s new movie she produced called “The Hottie and the Nottie” and I can only assume that since it is a Paris Hilton production, Paris is the Hottie and this Lakin chick is the Nottie and this is her in costume.

Now I’ve heard of chicks taking on a job and that makes them do humiliating shit that isn’t in the job description, like jerking off the manager in the back room after hours, or dressing in pretty revealing clothes, or paying picking up the bosses dry cleaning but going out in costume lookin like a wreck is on a whole other level of shit.

I can only assume that Paris isn’t paying this chick for making a fool of herself to help promote the movie, I have a feeling that Paris just told her that if she wants to hang out with her and if she ever wants to work in the industry again she has to dress in character or else she can just stay at home and kiss her career goodbye and a star struck Lakin who was casted by Paris and thinks she owes her, took one for the team and this is the humilating result.

I guess none of that matters, because a fake ugly Lakin, she still looks better than anything I’ve ever fucked and I know that all I have to do is let down her greasy hair and scrape off those skin lesions and she’d be good to go, not that I’d put that much effort into her, I’m more of a lift up that skirt and bend you over the hood kind of guy.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So maybe saying that Britney isn’t crazy and just a typical hormonal girl on her period having a hard time because the court took her kids and is playing it up for the media for the last year because it’s more entertaining than sitting on her couch watching movies and laying by the pool bored, was a little pre-mature because it turns out that Britney Spears has been committed by her manager and parents at the request of her psychiatrist who claims she hasn’t slept since Saturday, which I don’t think is a big deal, provided she was on crystal meth and listening to dance music, because that shit is called a rave. They shouldn’t have committed Britney, they should have just given her a pacifiers, some glow sticks and Vicks Vaporub. I guess that’s why she was spending so much time at the dance studio.

Either way, there’s no reports that she tried to kill herself, there’s no reports of how long she’s in the tank for, the only thing I know is that I need more friends like Britney because the crazy people i know just scream insanities at me about how the communists are coming to get us and how they are building a lead suit to protect themselves from the radiation as they wrap aluminum foil around their heads and that kind of paranoid crazy is pretty fucking boring because it’s not as upbeat as a a bipolar person in a manic phase that feels like one big party until they crash and that’s when you find someone else to hang out with because no one wants to hangout with a downer who sleeps all day and wants to die. It’s one of those “call me when you’re manic again” situations….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I used to always get surprised when I’d see the skater-punks like Avril in my neighborhood bending over to pick up their skateboards and seeing that they were rockin’ a thong under their baggy jeans and Punk Band T-shirt. I always expected them to be the kind of girls who wear men’s underwear or at least boy shorts that look like men’s underwear, because it just made sense, since they were pretending to be dudes. But the reality is that they weren’t pretending to be dudes, they were pretending to be skater-punks and l’d never get surprised seeing those same girls a year later rockin’ UGGS, American Apparel leggings and over-sized vintage dresses like they were Lindsay Lohan, because every girl influenced by the media’s gotta grow out of the poser-punk Avril Lavigne, Tony Hawk Pro Skater, candy-coated bullshit who sits around all day learning tricks and chasing boys and who drinks 40s with her friends while smoking weed in the park blowjob phase and turn into a cocaine dabbling, club going, vodka cranberry loving, dancing on the bar before sucking off a chachi in the bathroom then going back to a hotel party for an orgy phase. It’s just the normal course of becoming a woman.

Either way, I was expecting Avril to be rockin’ a pair of board shorts and not a pair of tight boy shorts, but I guess girls becoming a woman now that she’s married and shit and feels ok showing off the ass she never had growing up but has now that she’s older. I can only hope the next time these kinds of pictures hit she’ll be wearing something a little more lady-like, like her punk rock vagina, because from what I’ve been told, there’s nothing more lady-like than pussy.

The rumor is she’s pregnant, but doesn’t look like she’s pregnant in these pictures, but I’m not a doctor, I just pretend to be when it comes in handy, like that time the old lady fainted at the mall and I got to give her mouth to mouth. She may have tasted like Werthers and Cod Liver Oil but I still got a boner and that never happens. Or the time I convinced this chick at the coffee shop that her cough was serious and that I had to give her a full physical in the bathroom to get to the root of the problem and instead of using surgical gloves I used my tongue, and when we were done I prescribed her Tylenol on a Starbucks napkin….fine that never happened but I still say that Avril isn’t knocked up.

Source: yeeeah.com

Britney Spears has been getting an awful lot of attention lately, so Paris Hilton decided to swing the limelight her way with a fake lesbian make-out session with “House of Wax” co-star Elisha Cuthbert. Page Six says

Revelers at Tenjune in the Meatpacking District Tuesday night spotted Paris making out with “24″ star Elisha Cuthbert. “They were drinking and dancing, and all of suddenly they just started kissing,” said the onlooker who told us the liplock lasted “about a minute.” Cuthbert’s rep denies the story, although several witnesses confirmed they saw the face-suck.

That’s one of those things that sounds sexy until you get up close. Sorry, but those two are just gross. Paris Hilton looks like a combination of the Goon from Popeye and claymation Gumby and Elisha Cuthbert might as well be my seventh grade gym teacher with that haircut. It’s just like that time I rented this flick called “From Pole to Pole” and ended up with a documentary about the Earth’s inconstant magnetic field instead of the penis-fest I was expecting. Needless to say, I won’t be hitting up PBS for porn anymore. That goes double for the Discovery Channel and TLC. “Wild Down Under” my ass.

Paris arriving at the TRL Tuesday and Elisha shopping at Bristol Farms over the weekend:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Now that Heath Ledger has been dead for over a week, people are starting to come forward with tales of sex, drugs and desperation. Which stories are true, and which are purely manifested for financial purposes have yet to be seen. But one thing is for sure, the dirty laundry is starting to fly.

The latest drama is Entertainment Tonight and The Insider pulling a controversial video that was filmed after the SAG awards two years ago of Ledger reportedly snorting cocaine. Ledger is not only seen snorting a white substance through a rolled up dollar bill, he is also heard in the video saying he used to smoke 5 spliffs a day for 20 years.

PR firm, ID Public Relations, who has represented Ledger, released a statement Wednesday condemning the TV tabloids for planning to run the video, claiming they “purchased [the video] for a large sum of money in the hopes of stirring up a salacious and exploitive story about Heath, which would win them big ratings on the first day of sweeps.”

The pressure was enough and producers pulled the clip. Entertainment Tonight states on their website,

“Out of respect for Heath Ledger’s family, “Entertainment Tonight” and “The Insider” have decided not to run the Heath Ledger video which has been circulating in the world media.”

Out of respect to the family? Laughable. C’mon ET, you’re not fooling anyone.