Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I just found out that Evel Knieval died today. The reason I am posting it is because I think I was involved in it somehow because I made a Knieval joke yesterday to a group of 18 year old girls and I don’t really remember how it went, but they had no idea who he was so it didn’t really work as a joke.. When I told them he was a daredevil who was big in the 70s, they were just like “the 70s!?! Is he dead yet” and I said probably.

I know that assuming I have that kind of power is a little insane, but it makes me feel like I’ve got a purpose and it’s a weird coincidence because Evel Knieval doesn’t really enter my thoughts that often. So R.I.P. Evel. I didn’t mean to kill you and if I remembered my Knieval joke from yesterday to pay my final respects, I’d write it now but I don’t, because I am hungover but I’m sure you won’t mind, since you’re dead.

Read about it HERE

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Here are some pictures of Amanda Bynes doing some work for Burton Snowboards by showing up at their Flagship store that they just opened in LA, because as you know LA is known for being an amazing ski town, and by ski town I mean place where rich people can afford to buy the latest gear from a week long ski trip they are going on in Colorado or Europe or someshit.

The reason I got in at 9 am was because I ended up passing out in a girl’s bed last night. She woke me up at 7:30 because she had to go to work. I’ve been out of work so fuckin’ long that I didn’t realize how much it sucks and it was some disgusting reality check that made me realize that despite hating myself and thinking my life is worthless at least I don’t have to wake up and sell my soul for a paycheck, because that would seriously put a damper on my life.

I guess in a lot of ways, I’m living the fuckin’ dream and the people who I was harassing and making fun of on the street this morning while they were on their way to work this morning knew it. Their looks of disgust, like they knew I was a fuckin’ degenerate motherfucker and they were heros because they were on their way to contribute to society, so that they can pay their mortgages and car payments while I was going home to do nothing but I could tell that they were just jealous.

Have a good weekend workforce, because everyday’s a weekend for me, and they are never good.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

It’s safe to say that drinking works against me sometimes, like today, where I get home at 9 in the morning wasted and end up passing out and sleeping all day after writing 2 useless posts that I am scared to read, but I never read shit I’ve already written, I don’t like living in the past.

I do like that I go out planning on having one or two drinks, but end getting fucking beat the fuck up and leaving the bar an hour after it closes because I some how manage to befriend the bartenders and get them to give me free shots all night and refuse to leave because I want to the party to continue. The whole time I’m out I’m trying to catalog shit for posts, but whenever I wake up the next day it’s all gone and the only memories I have are of me in a tuxedo, sipping cocktails in some exclusive penthouse apartment and talking politics with supermodels when it reality, I’m actually messy as fuck and embarrassing myself while offending everyone around me and trying to get fat chicks to compare their pussies in dive bars.

I know you don’t care about any of that, so here are some pictures of Vanessa Hugens showing off some leg, and since we’ve all seen her naked, seeing her in clothes may be a bit of a downer, since it’s unnatural for a girl who’s been naked for you to not get naked for you again, but seems to be the story of my life, because they seem to think getting naked for me was some lapse in judgment….which it probably was….but still doesn’t make things better.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Dogs are absolutely delightful companions, once you get past their drool problem, their butt-sniffing, their crotch-sniffing, their leg-humping, and their tendency to roll around in any stinking pile of what-the-hell-was-that? that catches their fancy. And, of course, there’s the odor. That last problem has been solved, thanks to the tireless chemists at Sexy Beast, a Manhattan dog-grooming business that takes their work way too seriously. Their dog fragrance (also called Sexy Beast) is just one of dozens that promise to make your dog smell like a French cathouse, although few of them offer the unique Sexy Beast blend of “bergamot and vanilla-infused musk combined with natural patchouli, mandarin and nutmeg oils.”

How this will combine with your pet’s aromatherapy—and face it, anyone who coddles their pet like this is undoubtedly lighting scented candles around the doggie bed—is anyone’s guess, but if you want to impress your animal companion this Christmas a $65-dollar bottle of Sexy Beast might be just the thing. Or you could go all out and spend $850 for the holiday special, encrusted with Swarovski crystals. Or you could just get him a chew toy. I mean, we’re talking about a freakin’ dog here.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Nothing says I don’t shave my bush like a girl who wears a pair of jeans that don’t fit proper. It’s like she ripped these off some fat chick or her husband and decided to rock them in public because she’s a Spice Girl and Spice Girls don’t have to always be on.

Point being that I am all for girls who don’t wear 300 dollar jeans that make their asses look amazing, because when a girl wears a pair of standard jeans and still has an amazing ass, you know what you’re dealing with, it’s none of that smoke and mirrors bullshit, like the padded bra, or those titty inserts that has mislead men for years.

Either way, Geri Halliwell looks like a fucking college backpacker going through Europe for her first time and who hasn’t been able to shower or change her clothes for a week because she’s down to her last ten dollars except for her old haggard shitty make up job of a face kinda throws that theory away but she’s like any homeless person who’s clothing serves both as a house and a fashion statement, like the dude who hangs out around my neighborhood who wears a snow suit and billy boots all summer…because I guess he has no where to store his winter clothes.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Megan Fox is one of those women who could wear anything and still stop traffic. I’m not quite sure what it is about these pictures, which show absolutely nothing, but it was absolutely necessary that I post them and so here they are:

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Source: www.derekhail.com

Megan Fox is one of those women who could wear anything and still stop traffic. I’m not quite sure what it is about these pictures, which show absolutely nothing, but it was absolutely necessary that I post them and so here they are:

Related Articles: 
Megan Fox is a sex bomb
Megan Fox has sexual needs
More Megan Fox

Source: yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan may have once again have loved and lost. According to E! News

Sources close to the couple say Lindsay dumped Riley shortly after the two returned to Los Angeles [after Thanksgiving.] “She made it pretty clear when they got home,” says our source. “It’s over. She got tired of him pouting all the time. It was fine when they were in Utah, just the two of them. But then they returned to L.A., photographers followed them everywhere, she had meetings with this agent, that publicist, this director. His ego couldn’t take it.”

It was probably less of a “wounded-ego” issue as much as it was a “shameless whore” issue. Like with the photographers, for instance. It might have helped had she not personally arranged every photo op and gotten paid for every picture the paps snapped. It also might have helped if she hadn’t been punched in the kitty by every dirty bastard in Hollywood and pulled more pork than Boss Hog at a barbeque. Yep. I just made that one up. Right off the top of my head. Did I mention I’m running a fever? I’m going to go lay down now.

Lindsay leaving Bossa Nova last night:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

If you’re like me, you watch crappy reality shows.

Yeah, I’ll admit, I know they are edited, cropped and sometimes scripted and even though most are completely ridiculous, I can’t get enough of them.

The newest one I watch is Tila Tequila’s ‘A Shot at Love.’

It’s about MySpace slut Tila Tequila and her quest for the perfect mate. Whether that person be male…or female. We are down to the final three contestants, one male and two females. Tila claims to ‘not know’ which sex she prefers and the show is built on the premise that she is trying to figure herself out.

But apparently that is not the case. It’s all a ruse! (Word of the week..) A source close to the reality show claims that it’s all ‘a sham’ and that Tila isn’t even bisexual - although she has kissed a few girls in the past. Tila also had, and still has, a longtime boyfriend that she refuses to break-up with!

“That’s why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won’t dump him.”

The source adds that Tila acts like a little bitch on set and is not as sweet as she seems on the show. “She arrives late and doesn’t talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on.”

Tila’s publicist refutes those claims saying , “I’ll confirm that she’s bisexual and she’s a delight to work with.”

I think she’s just a hooker who wanted her own show. I mean c’mon, she got where she is by whoring herself out online and will obviously do anything to get attention. God forbid she hangs out with Paris Hilton in the near future..

As for her being bisexual, she’s just a slut! If bisexual is what you want to call it, ok, but you don’t have me fooled.

The show is pretty bad in my opinion, but of course I watch the shit. It seems all these reality dating shows are modeled after Flavor of Love lately, but none compare! Even I Love New York is a pile of shit. I mean, it’s bad. The first one was alright, better than I thought it would be, but this season? Forget about it. It sucks donkey balls. Same old tired crap, and completely predictable.

Anyhow back to Tila…

So there you have it. Shocking, I know. Tila Tequila is not bi and she was already in a serious relationship before the show started, and still is. Makes you want to run right out to a casting call for a reality show doesn’t it? So you can be a producer’s little pawn on National TV, get f**ked with, then get sent home crying your ass off. Reality Shows…the new Jerry Springer.

_______________

Source

Source: agentbedhead.com

In yet another sad comment on our times, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila has been a ratings smash. Last week’s episode sucked in 4.2 million viewers, just slightly less than The Hills and enough to to tie with the equally sexually ambiguous Spongebob Squarepants. The series ends this week, but MTV has already announced plans for a second season and a possible spinoff. Tila, however, will not be on board. It’s almost unimaginable that she would pass up a chance for more publicity, but Page Six at the New York Post thinks they’ve found the answer: Tila is straight.

“Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she’s not really bi. She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all.” That’s the word from a source close to the show, who says Tila’s refusal to dump her boy toy is the reason she won’t be around next year. The source also reports that Tila is “a nightmare to work with” and a complete diva. A spokesperson for Tila indignantly denied that she was sexually normal, saying, “I’ll confirm that she’s bisexual and she’s a delight to work with.” So: bisexual delight, or boringly hetero pain in the keister? The answer to that question is only one of many, many things you won’t learn from reality TV.

Source: www.yeeeah.com

E! News was all over this Splash footage of Julia Roberts chasing down some paparazzo with her car as he attempted to photograph her children on the way to school. Really, what’s all the fuss about? So some dude you don’t know is crouched down in his car taking pictures of your kids. Big deal. Who doesn’t occasionally loiter around a schoolyard and snap some candids of little girls in skirts on the swings? Who doesn’t keep a stash of Mike and Ike’s in their pockets to convince the little boys to follow you to back to the car to “check out the cute puppy you just bought?” Who doesn’t hide behind a bush on the playground with their genitals pulled out, waiting for some kid to round the corner and meet “The Daddy Snake?” Perfectly normal, legal behavior. Next, Julia’s gonna probably start railing on some prostitute trying to give a john a blowjob behind the gym for a little meth. So, what, the schoolyard’s a fuckin’ church now or something? Ho, ho! We can’t all just prance around a private school doing exploratory arts after our fancy catered lunches! Some of us have to work, you know? Meth doesn’t just pay for itself! Jesus Christ. Hollywood types can be so damn sanctimonious sometimes.

Source: yeeeah.com

E! News was all over this Splash footage of Julia Roberts chasing down some paparazzo with her car as he attempted to photograph her children on the way to school. Really, what’s all the fuss about? So some dude you don’t know is crouched down in his car taking pictures of your kids. Big deal. Who doesn’t occasionally loiter around a schoolyard and snap some candids of little girls in skirts on the swings? Who doesn’t keep a stash of Mike and Ike’s in their pockets to convince the little boys to follow you to back to the car to “check out the cute puppy you just bought?” Who doesn’t hide behind a bush on the playground with their genitals pulled out, waiting for some kid to round the corner and meet “The Daddy Snake?” Perfectly normal, legal behavior. Next, Julia’s gonna probably start railing on some prostitute trying to give a john a blowjob behind the gym for a little meth. So, what, the schoolyard’s a fuckin’ church now or something? Ho, ho! We can’t all just prance around a private school doing exploratory arts after our fancy catered lunches! Some of us have to work, you know? Meth doesn’t just pay for itself! Jesus Christ. Hollywood types can be so damn sanctimonious sometimes.