Source: yeeeah.com

Apparently K-Fed didn’t make out with any of Britney Spears’ prostitute ensembles in the divorce settlement, because Brit seems to have an endless supply of fishnets and see-through tops. I like the bit of Victorian flair there at the neck. Classy. Kind of “Beethoven meets Meth Whore.” I also like that the back seam of her stockings wraps around her thigh instead of running down the back of her leg. A couple of track marks down her arms and a few weeping sores around her mouth and I’d have offered her twenty bucks fight a homeless man on camera. It’s not like dignity sells, people!

More of Ludwing van Spears after the jump

Source: yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Coachella Music Festival this weekend dressed like Waldo’s mongoloid cousin. His slutty mongoloid cousin. The one with the incontinence problem and a bad dye job and the low self-esteem. I couldn’t tell you first hand, because I don’t piss myself unless I’ve been drinking tequila, but I’m pretty sure those adult diapers would have stayed up even without the suspenders. But that wouldn’t have worked, because without the suspenders those sunglasses would have just looked fucking stupid.

Source: yeeeah.com

I hope you didn’t just do a double take and rub your eyes in excited disbelief, because I’m afraid the real Paris Hilton isn’t dead. Not by a long shot. The devil and she have an agreement, remember? But the sculptor behind “Britney Spears Giving Birth on All Fours” and “Suri Cruise Bronzed Baby Poop” presents a sneak peek at what the heiress’ corpse would look like had she died on her cell phone, in a tiara, with her legs spread eagle. According to London’s The Sun:

New Yorker Daniel Edwards has made a sculpture called ‘Paris Hilton Autopsy’ which shows the heiress dead with her legs spread. Pet Chihuahua Tinkerbell is shown resting its front paws on her breasts. The sculpture also has an open abdominal icavity with removable life-size internal organ, which visitors to the exhibition may take out if they put on a pair of gloves. The artwork will be unveiled on May 11 in New York.

You’ll notice they didn’t mention anything about defecating in her open abdominal cavity, so I’ve got May 11th pretty well booked solid. I’m sure if you wanted to stop by and maybe spunk on her face or spit in her cooter, that’d be cool, too. I plan on finishing up by kicking it in the head a few times and yelling, “Be glad the devil’s on your side, whore!” That’s usually about the time art patrons notify security and they ask me to leave.

More of dead naked Paris after the jump

Source: yeeeah.com

George O’Dowd, the singer better known as Boy George, was arrested over the weekend for kidnapping a hooker and “torturing him.” According to London’s The Daily Mail:

Boy George has been arrested [for] false imprisonment and assault. The former Culture Club front man allegedly kidnapped a 28-year-old Norwegian male escort early on Saturday morning. Boy George, 45, and another man handcuffed [the escort] to a hook on the wall after inviting him to the singer’s house to pose for photographs. A police spokesman said: “[We] are investigating and a man in his 40s has been arrested in connection with the allegation.”

If I had a dollar for every hooker I’d kidnapped and tortured, I’d be, like, five dollars richer now. It makes the chase more exciting if they don’t see me coming. Nobody suspects the woman on a ten-speed with a baby seat on the back, so you can pounce right up on a good cracked-out whore like a tiger in the jungle. But I’m not some kind of sick bastard who goes around handcuffing people to the walls, taking deviant photographs and other such gay nonsense. I’m more of a “tie you up and make you watch ‘Herbie: Fully Loaded” six or seven times while blasting the soundtrack to “Glitter” kinda girl.

More of Jessica Simpson’s big boobs en route to Chi Dynasty restaurant after the jump, because I’m incredibly generous and Boy George is ugly.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

If you watch ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ you are probably totally disgusted with Dustin Diamond just like I am.

This has-been child actor had the balls to slam other cast members, questioning their celebrity status like he is some big A-lister. I don’t think this jackass realizes that he is a nobody in Hollywood himself.

No wonder none of his castmates liked him.

“I don’t hold it against anybody not to like Dustin Diamond,” Celebrity Fit Club 5 executive producer Richard Hall told the New York Post about the one-time teenage TV star. “I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. He came in with a very contrarian agenda. He took shots at everybody. He would imitate the other cast members and mock them.”

Dustin also went on and on about his sex tape and took the opportunity to tell his castmates that he is ‘packing heat’. Then he wondered why no one wanted to listen to what he had to say.

Supposedly he will walk off the show on next weeks episode and I say Amen! Let that fat loser go home and return to his pathetic existence. I can’t even love to hate the guy.

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Ever dreamed of winning an MTV Movie Award? Here is your chance with Yahoo! Movies and MTV! Create your own movie spoof, shoot it, and submit it online by May 21st. The winner will be awarded LIVE on the show airing June 3rd at 9 PM! Click here for details!

Labels: Celebrity Morons, Dustin DIamond, Reality Shows

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Labels: Celebrity Vacations, Celebs in Bikinis, Kate Bosworth

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Labels: Celebrity Style, Jessica Simpson, Random Candids

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Thirteen years after her husbands suicide, Courtney Love says she plans to sell many of Kurt Cobain’s belongings in an auction.

“I’m going to have a Christie’s auction. (My house) is like a mausoleum.”

“My daughter doesn’t need to inherit a giant..bag full of flannel shirts. A sweater, a guitar and the lyrics to ‘(Smells Like) Teen Spirit’ — that’s what my daughter gets. And the rest of it we’ll just sell.”

No date has been set for the auction.

“Everyone’s been positive and behind me on it,” she says. “We’ll make a lot of money and give a bunch of it to charity.”

“I still wear his pajamas to bed. How am I ever going to go form another relationship in my lifetime wearing Kurt’s pajamas?”

Source

Labels: Celebrity Auctions, Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

A big head on a little body..

Source
____________
Ever dreamed of winning an MTV Movie Award? Here is your chance with Yahoo! Movies and MTV! Create your own movie spoof, shoot it, and submit it online by May 21st. The winner will be awarded LIVE on the show airing June 3rd at 9 PM! Click here for details!

Labels: Bruce Willis, Magazine Covers

Source: www.derekhail.com

Leonardo DiCaprio, while promoting the launch of the new movie “Gardener of Eden,” was seen partying at New York’s Marquee night club on Friday with Petra Nemcova. According to the Chronicle, a source revealed to the Daily News newspaper,

“He looked like he was all over her.

“They were together from before 12.30am to around 2.30am. He was holding her waist and touching her arm.”

He touched her arm? You mean, he placed his fingers on her arm? He actually grazed Petra’s arm with his finger tips? Oh shit, he obviously wants to have sex with her. If I only knew that a gentle touch on the arm implied a sexual connotation earlier in life, I’d have all of my teachers arrested. Perverts.

Leonardo DiCaprio knocked up Bar Refaeli?
Leonardo DiCaprio to marry Bar Refaeli?
Leonardo DiCaprio adopts Half of a Child
Leonardo DiCaprio Gossip

Source: www.derekhail.com

Rosie O’Donnell, who recently announced her resignation from the show, The View, due to an inability to agree on contract terms, is supposedly being replaced by Roseanne Barr. Even though Roseanne Bar’s rep denies that she has been approached, I would imagine the career qualifications for hosting The View are the following:

• Fat (3 -5 years experience)
• Obnoxious (10 or more years experience)
• Annoying (your voice has to make people cringe)
• Ugly (ugly enough to make children cry)

Did I miss anything? [source]

Donald Trump Destroys Rosie O’donnell
Donald Trump to Rosie O’donnell: You’re a very unattractive woman

Source: www.derekhail.com

Victoria Beckham, better known for her large, pert breasts, has miraculously large nipples. While we can’t actually see her nipple, the marble like monstrosities are tearing through her tight black shirt. While most women are proud of their C-cup, Posh’s nipples alone take up at least a B – look at them, they’re huge!

Victoria Beckham is a damn Mannequin
Victoria Beckham is an Ice queen