Source: yeeeah.com

You’d think if Ashlee Simpson was getting a plastic surgery overhaul, the next place she’d go after fixing her schnozz would be shaving down that enormous pointy chin. She looks like she should be bent over an oven, shoving in Hansel and Gretel and cackling with glee. All she’s missing is a wart sprouting a few hairs. I happened to be outside on my cellphone when she walked past, and when she paused near me to admire some purses I yelled, “Hey! Could you move your fucking chin already? You’re blocking the signal! I just lost a call!” And she looked embarrassed and kind of half-waved before breaking into this shameful hoedown shuffle dance thing. Just like the one she did on Saturday Night Live. So I threw my bourbon and coke in her face and yelled, “You’ll never be pretty on the inside! You hear me? Never! You suck!” And then the staff from the hospital found me because of all the commotion and made me put my clothes back on and go inside to take my medicine. Bastards. Ashlee Simpson’s chin ruins everything.

More chinny-chin-chin after the jump.

Source: yeeeah.com

Mere days after Kate Moss and Pete Doherty’s Buddhist blessing in Thailand earlier this month, Pete managed to land himself on videotape shooting up cocaine with some skanks in a hostel. London’s The Sun reports:

Junkie rocker Pete Doherty injects himself with cocaine in a grubby Thai hostel — as he tells worried lover Kate Moss he is “fine” on the phone. Bare-chested Doherty shot up several times after joining three girls in a backpacker’s £8-a-night room. He clasped a mobile between head and shoulder as concerned model Kate asked him where he was and what he was doing. The out-of-it Babyshambles singer replied: “What’s the matter? I love you.”

Jess Lea, a backpacking student, had invited him to her room to party with her and two female friends. She asked Doherty if rumours he had married Kate were true. He replied: “No, I love her but I wouldn’t marry her if she was the last woman on Earth. She’s too paranoid.” Jess said she witnessed Doherty injecting coke at least three times between 1.30am and 4am. She added: “It was a bit mind-blowing. He asked us if we minded. Initially we were like, ‘OK, go for it’, but as time went on we began to get nervous.”

And yet Kate Moss checked herself into rehab yesterday right alongside him — presumably to keep a watchful eye on him — fully intending to stay with this loser. The whole situation reminds me of the time I tried to spell my name in the snow with tinkle. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make it past more than an “A,” and even then it only looked like an A if you were looking at it upside down. I tried everything I could think of — removing my pants entirely, peeing into a funnel, holding my pee for four hours, anything — but it never worked. I just couldn’t urinate my name. It turns out you need a penis for that sort of thing. And no matter how long my clitoris might have been, it still didn’t work like a penis. Same holds true for Kate here. No matter how hard she tries, she’s not going to grow a penis either. Or make Pete Doherty get sober. It’s just a fact of life.

To watch the actual video footage of Pete injecting himself with cocaine, click here. It’s a real scream.

Source: yeeeah.com

Look, everybody: our little Harry Potter is all grown up. Grown up and… hot. Muscled. Hairy. A thousand different emotions are coursing through my veins right now. Namely, the best way to combine Harry Potter, Aragorn from “Lord of the Rings” and “Dr. Gauis Baltar” from “Battlestar Galactica” into the sexy gang-bang foursome I’ve dreamed about since my days of “Magic: The Gathering” in the middle school library.

More dorkdom fantasy after the jump.

Source: www.derekhail.com

This is Pete Doherty on Drugs. Other than a perfect example of what not to do with your life, Pete should be the star of those anti-drug campaigns found in high schools all around America. “Hey Kids, this use to be me.”

The other news Coverage of Pete Doherty Doing drugs can be found here.

Video Found via DListed

Source: www.derekhail.com

Pete Doherty, while in a Thai Hostel, injected himself with cocaine while speaking with Kate Moss on the phone, who may or may not have been in the process of roaming around topless on the beach. The Sun learned exclusively,

Bare-chested Doherty shot up several times after joining three girls in a backpacker’s £8-a-night room.

Sure, he may not be painting murals with blood, but other than that, rehab was absolutely unsuccessful. Tap that forearm Pete, tap it.

Source: www.derekhail.com

10. Uma Thurman Bikini Pictures - An unsuspecting Uma Thurman lip locked with her man dons a Purple bikini.

9. Rihanna Bikini Pictures - Sure, she’s supposedly Unfaithful, but with a booty like hers… Who wouldn’t be? It is just a prime target.

8. Mischa Barton Bikini Pictures - Chat away Mischa, but I think you dropped something. Everyone would like you to pick it up.

7. Keisha Buchanan Bikini Candids - She is most definitely not a super model, but she fills out a bikini. She just seems normal, which makes these bikini pics as number.

6. Jamie-Lynn Sigler Bikini Candids - She’s a Soprano. Watch your mouth and avert your eyes.

5. Lindsay Lohan Green Bikini Pics - Alright, she may be in rehab, but look at her breasts. They’re nearly perfect.

4. Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures - Have you ever seen Bandidas? The two sexy Latino Women, Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz attempting to be bad ass is a completely sexy. These bikini pictures are just another way of showing my adoration.

3. Lindsay Lohan Black Bikini - Earlier I mentioned she has a perfect chest, but I also clarified she was in rehab. Here is a perfect example of why Lindsay Lohan was in rehab. Shortly after a supposed Appendix surgery, she is obviously sprinting away from the virus or she merely has to use the bathroom.

2. Jessica Alba in a Blue Bikini - Sure We’re all happy to see Jessica, but so is this guy. He is either extremely erect or he manages to stuff his pants with tube socks in the morning.

1. Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini - This was an obvious choice and just goes to show what a great month it has been for celebrity bikini candids. It is absolutely beautiful and most definitely deserves to be the number 1 choice for January. I actually dare anyone to show me a better bikini candid from this month because then I will call you crazy.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Joanna Krupa, became one of my favorite models after seeing her in several states of undress. These bikini pictures are no different. They are just as satisfying.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Lately, I’m starting to feel a faint pang of sympathy for Kevin Federline. That skeeves me out almost as much as feeling a faint hint of lust for Britney, but the controversy over his Superbowl commercial is getting way beyond ridiculous. After FedEx went some distance toward redeeming his public image by starring in a reasonably witty, self-mocking ad, the National Restaurant Association issued a bed-wetting statement charging that the ad was “a strong and direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry.? (I worked fast food in high school, but somehow the insult slid right past me. Apparently I haven’t fully embraced my cultural identity as a Taco Time-American.) Now Federline has issued his own statement defending the ad, and claiming his own piece of the fast food heritage:

It was nothing towards nobody. I actually used to work in fries. That was my first job. Everybody came from that. A lot of people slung hash.

There. Glad that’s settled. Now we can all move on, provided people like Steven Anderson, President and CEO of the National Restaurant Association, will stop being so fucking sensitive. There are more important things to think about, like the War on Terror and a whole smorgasbord of fatal illnesses. Hell, we as a nation could more fruitfully focus on the tragedy of persistent hangnails than on this crock of drivel.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Of all the starlets running around making out with any man or beast they can get their hands on I’d always figured it’d be Paris who first delved into the world of Beastieality. Alas, Sienna beat her too the finish line.

Sienna Miller “made out” with a monkey on a recent photo shoot. [She] got an unexpected surprise when she tried to coax him into giving her a peck on the lips.

She said: “To make the monkey respond, you’re meant to blow at its mouth so it’ll kiss you. But it stuck its tongue out! So, I sort of made out with a monkey!”

Somebody needs to explain the international love symbols to Ms. Miller. Everybody knows that blowing is synonymous with another act of affection and it involves a completely different part of the anatomy.

But wait there’s more.

Unfortunately for the 25-year-old actress the amorous monkey still had one more surprise for her on the day. Before the shoot had finished the excited animal urinated all over her back.

Nice. Wasn’t there someone else that was rumored to have a sex tape ending in a golden shower?

What the hells wrong with the starlets these days that makes them feel they need to one up each other? I for one will be skipping the next round of Paris Hilton sex tapes involving a 9-iron and a water buffalo.

As for Sienna’s choice of bed time partners, we’ve know for a while she wasn’t very discriminatory, after she shagged Jude Law. Speaking of Jude Law if Sienna being built like a 12-year-old boy doesn’t speak multitudes of his latent homosexuality I don’t know what does.

Source: agentbedhead.com

A few days after Kate Moss and Pete Doherty’s marriage/non-marriage ceremony in Thailand, Kate sent him home early, and now we have the details of exactly why that happened. It seems that Pete left Kate alone in their luxury suite whilst he secretly went in search of drugs. After he got lost, he ended up sitting in a hostel with three girls and fighting with Kate Moss on one of their cell phones. These girls’ statements were published today by The Sun UK:

“Pete kept telling us Kate was paranoid and wanted to know where he was. She did seem quite pissed off, with him constantly pleading, What’s wrong? I love you’.”

“After one conversation his mood changed. He was quite upset.”

“When we got him downstairs, he asked the man on reception where he could score some heroin.”

“Then he went up to every taxi driver asking if they could score him some drugs.”

And then there is the video footage. Pete, you’re screwed, Mate:

Source: agentbedhead.com

Oh, those subversive mash-up types. Someone out there has sliced and diced selected portions of Fight Club and turned it into a classic piece of gay pr0n. Frankly, it’s a long overdue notion, and one that turns out to be surprisingly easy to do. There’s not really any justification for this post, except that the clip is funny as hell. Also, it goes nicely with that pic Phin likes so much of Brad Pitt in a dress. Fairly liberal use of the f-bomb, for those who are easily offended.

(Via Gorilla Mask.)

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Pete Doherty is a rockstar proven by the fact that he shoots heroin and dates supermodels. People have been shooting up for a long fucking time so who gives the fuck if he’s an addict, he probably has a better life than you do and if he dies prematurely, he’s already seen Kate Moss’ cunt up close and some of you would probably die for that. I don’t like drugs, I don’t like that celeb drug use is hitting the mainstream, I liked it better when they did it behind closed doors, because the last think we need is kids shooting up to be like Nicole Richie. Point is drugs aren’t cool but Pete Doherty is, but not cool enough to want to be like. If you know what I mean…

More info on the tape HERE