Source: yeeeah.com

Viacom C.O. Sumner Redstone opens up about his decision to fire Tom Cruise in the December issue of Vanity Fair.  What does that have to do with that picture of Rebecca Romijn and her dog up there?  Nothing at all, dummy, but a puppy in a hat held by a model trumps pictures of Stubby McGay any day of the week.  And the dog is wearing a costume.  And today is Halloween, and Mysstique is totally my favorite X-Men. 

Page Six quotes Mr. Redstone as saying,

“[Tom] was embarrassing the studio. And he was costing us a lot of money. [My wife Paula], like women everywhere, had come to hate him. The truth of the matter is, I did listen to her . . . His behavior was entirely unacceptable to Paula and to the rest of the world. He just didn’t turn one [woman] off. He turned off all women, and a lot of men.”

“When did I decide [to fire him]? I don’t know. When he was on the ‘Today’ show? When he was jumping on a couch at ‘Oprah’? He changed his handler, you know, to his sister [LeAnne Devette] - not a good idea.”

“[Cruise’s bizarre behavior cost Paramount] $100 million, $150 million on ‘Mission: Impossible III.’ It was the best picture of the three, and it did the worst.”

You’ll notice Mr. Redstone made no reference to Tom Cruise’s love of the cock.  And that’s smart, because you can’t mention somebody’s being gay in the list of reasons you fired them.  You’ll wind up with a lawsuit on your hands, and a “We’re Here, We’re Queer” picket parade in your parking lot.  And sometimes they bring eggs.  And glitter.  Never good for a Bentley’s paint job.

In honor of the holiday, some more pictures of Rebecca Romijn at “Bow Wow Ween” after the jump!  Happy Halloween, mothafuckas!

Source: yeeeah.com

Mortal enemies Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both showed up at the Playboy Halloween Fête this past weekend. TMZ reports

All of the players from one of Hollywood’s most sordid love triangles [Paris Hilton, Shanna Moakler, and Travis Barker] showed up to Hef’s annual Halloween bash over the weekend and despite the violent history between the ladies, none of them came to blows with each other. 

Now, if Naomi Campbell had been invited, you know some shit would have gone down.  At least a cell phone head spike or a good, old-fashioned face scratching.   Nay-Nay ain’t afraid to cut a bitch.  I bet she could yank Paris Hilton’s head clean off with the spine still attached, just like in the old Mortal Kombat game.  FINISH HIM!!!  And then she’d spin that bowstaff with her second set of arms and burst into flames.  Fatalities are freakin’ awesome.

Source: yeeeah.com

Lindsay Lohan dressed up like Olivia Newton-John’s redheaded stepchild for yet another Halloween party this week. Well, I assume she’s going to a Halloween party. Maybe she’s just totally into Jazzercising in high heels. Come to think of it, I used to really be into aerobics and working out and stuff, too, until I learned about gravity bong hits. After that, I was just pretty much into “doing gravity bong hits.” And playing The Legend of Zelda. Not exercising didn’t stop me from wearing the workout clothes, though. Spandex tights and leotards really hold in your diaphragm during a massive coughing fit. And I think you’ll agree there’s little else that flatters better than a set of leg warmers paired with terrycloth wristbands. Eat your heart out, Richard Simmons!

More pics of “Let’s Get Physical” after the jump.

Source: yeeeah.com

According to reports that surfaced yesterday, Ryan Phillippe’s affair with Australian co-star Abbie Cornish was the impetus for the the split from wife Reese Witherspoon.  Page Six reports

RYAN Phillippe’s cruel intentions to cheat on wife Reese Witherspoon brought an end to their glam Hollywood marriage…. The “Flags of Our Fathers” star couldn’t resist his seven-year itch when he brazenly played around in public with 24-year-old Aussie actress Abbie Cornish. “Ryan admitted it was true and said, ‘We need to just end this.’ Phillippe and Cornish allegedly grew close in Austin, Texas, on and off the set of their indie flick, “Stop Loss.” The National Enquirer says the final straw came two weeks ago… when Witherspoon found incriminating e-mails on her hubby’s BlackBerry.

There’s nothing I hate more than a cheater.  Like last week, when I was baby-sitting this second-grader and we were playing Candy Land, she totally picked up a new card when she thought I wasn’t looking.  But I was looking.  And I hate cheaters.  So I spiked all of the remaining pieces onto the floor and chucked the cards at her and tried to rip the board in half with my bare hands.  But they make those bastard game boards really tough, so I had to dump my gin and tonic on it to soften it up and then take a steak knife to it to really do any damage.  It took a good half hour to tear it apart.  But I finally got it!  And I bet you little Suzy Jo won’t ever cheat at Candy Land again.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Kate Winslet issues a gauntlet - any paparazzi or tabloid who attacks her as a mother will face Kate in a fight, a fist fight. According to Ireland Online,

“People can throw anything at me they want, and be as mean as they like, but don’t mess with me as a mother, because I will come after you.

“It’s really not fair. It’s a vulnerable time. I was very young - I was 25. It was really, really hard.”

Kate has always been a little more brawn than most women, but a fight? What is she going to do? Let go of Jack? Murderer.

Source: www.derekhail.com

I refuse to corrupt my page with Pete’s Picture.

Pete Doherty, better known for his ridiculous antics such as: injecting women with drugs, squirting blood on camera, and paints picture with blood, has decided to profess his love for women’s clothing. According to Entertainment wise,

“Oh year I love them - especially the eyeliner. It’s a laugh as it can make the right changes to your features.

“I just don’t get all the fuss when people see fellas wearing women’s clothes.

“I mean, I love Kate’s stuff and have tried some bits on. What’s wrong with that?

“Footwear is the key and it make you feel good…very good, if you get my drift.”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing women’s clothing… if you’re a woman. Why Pete thinks it’s alright must be after years of drug abuse and corrupted brain cells.

Source: www.derekhail.com

Hliary Horse Duff is looking good in blue. She almost deserves to shed the whole image of being a Human Horse, but only time will tell if she can maintain such a look - you know, a look that isn’t animal like.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Something tells me that David Spade isn’t doing so well at handling getting dumped by Heather Locklear.

Source: agentbedhead.com

For Halloween this year, greasy, foul-mouthed trust-fund-sucker Brandon Davis is bringing classy back to the upper classes by dressing as—you guessed it—a firecrotch. Some people might think this was tasteless, even offensive, but who cares what people think who couldn’t even get past the bouncers at Hyde? Besides, those people don’t understand that the five minutes of profane invective on the subject of Lindsay Lohan’s genitals which Brandon spewed with such drunken panache represent the high point in this man’s life, and for the next sixty years it’s all going to be downhill. So let’s indulge Brandon just this once. Of course, next year we’ll expect a different costume. Maybe the Denny’s uniform from his day job in 2016, for instance.

(H/t to X17online for the pic.)

Source: agentbedhead.com

Reese Witherspoon and her husband have separated.

“We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate,” a rep for the couple said in a statement released Monday. “They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.” TMZ.com first reported the couple’s split.

Of course it’d come to light that Reese’s husband Ryan, who shall from hereafter be known as teh idiot, was playing hide teh sausage with Abbie Cornish, “an actress on the rise“. Teh idiot earns his title for being moron enough to leave picture of him and his mistress where Reese could fine them. How many times have I got to tell the knuckleheads, you don’t shit where you eat?

So Reese is obviously going through a very trying time and vulnerable I think it’s best if she moves in with somebody who will have her best interests in mind. Someone, like me. It’d be a sacrifice, but a sacrifice I’m willing to make to ensure another hot young starlet doesn’t follow in the path of Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan and the Hiltons.

Teh idiot’s cheating can only be explained with one of two statements. He’s, as his name hints at, an idiot and should immediately be neutered as to prevent the possible spread of his damaged DNA. The other reason could be the age old adage about hot chics: no matter how good she looks somebody else is already sick and tired of putting up with her shit. Since Reese is obviously as sane and “down to earth” as celebrities get the only logical choice is teh idiot’s faulty DNA.

Reese if you’re reading this, like you’re prone to do, call me. I’m sure the missus won’t mind at all, I mean you’re on “the list” and everything so it’s cool. Plus I’m pretty sure things would work out and you could support me in a lifestyle I’d become accustomed to and I damned sure wouldn’t go horning around with some young Australian hussy, unless she was like really hot and willing and maybe a bit kinky and I didn’t think you’d catch us.

Scarlett Johansson isn’t an aussie is she?

Source: agentbedhead.com

On the scariest day of the year it seems only appropriate to check up on our current Great White Rappin’ Hope, and right now things don’t look too good for him. Despite his obnoxiously confident exterior, KFed was in tears over the reviews of his performance on the Teen Choice Awards, and ticket sales have for his upcoming tour have been abysmal. Maybe it’s time to cut the guy some slack.

Nah. KFed just served up a 32-piece bucket of deep fried, extra-crispy idiocy to New York Post reporter Maureen Callahan, and the guy clearly has more slack than he knows what to do with. The other thing this piece makes clear is that letting people know the real KFed is not a good strategy for improving his image. The article really defies excerption, but here’s a more or less randomly chosen paragraph:

“I honestly think the media is a give-and-take. It’s not that I can say, Completely f - - k you. I could just only say, Halfway f - - k you. But I know why they do it. It’s because they’re making a lot of money. So I can’t be mad at you. I come from a place where people do a lot of things to make money. So I cannot be mad at them. But I like that real journalism. I like putting other people’s words in a sentence and making people, like, their faces light up about it. Not frown. Light up.”

We may have been overestimating this guy. Best Week Ever has a Celebrity Translator to help you through some of the dense spots in the interview, but I can tell you one thing: when you finish, you are going to want to buy tickets to see KFed live. And you’re going to want to bring lots of beer bottles.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This is Tera Patricks’ costume from some party she hosted. I don’t really understand why she’s wearing anything, considering the fact that we have all seen her naked and getting fucked. She’s a dirty whore who has seen more dick that you have, and you’re a closet case faggot with a gay porn addiction. Either way…these are her pics….

Speaking of herpes, I am watching Dr Phil, because it’s what I do at 5 pm on weekdays. It’s all part of being unemployed. They are talking about how a woman with a Femmullet landed herpes from her cheating husband. That makes me laugh, not because I think herpes is funny or because I think innocent people deserve herpes and I really hate the fact that banging bitches can result in death, or painful cock sores, or burning when it pees, but the fact that these 2 white trash bitches are pulling a Jerry Springer on this show and the fact that the world knows she’s got vagina issues is funny in an embarrassing way, like when you shit your pants when you think you’ve got to fart. I generally hate bathroom jokes but I am trying to figure out a reason why I am laughing without admitting that I am a fucking asshole and love other people’s pain.

Speaking of Assholes, Here’s a message one of my readers wrote KELS. If you don’t know who KELS is, read my previous post.

here’s my message to your friend KELS,

Hey! Saw your profile and thought I’d drop in and say HI! HI HI HI!!

I saw you had said you have a dirty secret on your, “About Me” section…I’m not going to lie…I have one too! I’ll share with you! I was jerking off to your fat ass picutres in your fat ass “pics” section and some of my cum landed on the “K” key on my keyboard!!! I thought it was funny though becuase your name starts with a K too!!! Gosh, I should buy a lottery ticket today!

I know that sounds kinda gross Kels, but seriously, I just can’t help myself when I’m looking at 5′2″ fat girls on myspace with teeth that look like they’re trying to run away from your face and with what I can only guess are dinner plate sized nipples. Don’t get me wrong Kels, I love dinner plates…if it weren’t for them I would have to eat my food on the floor with the homeless! Silly homeless people.

Aaaanyways. Just wanted to say I love you and that you made my day better. We should totally get together sometime and listen to music! Looks like you like your music almost as you like your cake!

love,

puddin