Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I did a post about her a couple of days ago, she was getting raped by a midget and it was documented. Now, I assume she’s still on the same midget-rape vacation on this time she decided to let you tits get some son. She is topless, you like that shit, even though they are retardedly fake, you’d still stick it to her. I am not a fan of the breast implant. That’s all I have to say about that.

Via DoubleViking

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I rarely compliment girls for looking good. I figure enough suck up bitches do that in attempts to get in their pants. In case you haven’t realized it doesn’t work. The only girls who you can be nice to and guarantee play from is fat girls, and who the fuck wants a fat girl. All you have to say is “baby, you look so good tonight”, and she’s yours. Only because she has limited selection in who she can get with. Beckham has had something like 10 kids, and bitch’s body is still slamming. You gotta give respect where it’s due. If all women who have kids, could bounce back into shape…you’re options in pussy would be limited. You need the fatties with baggage and low standards to get laid.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

It’s summer, and with summer comes summer vacation and for celebities, that means trips to beaches. With the beach comes bikinis and with celebrity comes paparazzi, and combined comes pictures of celebrities on beaches in Bikinis. Here are a few pictures of Cameron Diaz, I don’t know what the fuck is on her ass, I think it’s causes by Justin Timberlake’s roughneck ways, upon fucking her, he realizes that he could be fucking ever 18 year old out there, and with his fits of rage comes fits of fury and he spanks the shit out of Diaz for ruining his youth. I could be completely wrong, but I remember knowing a guy who had a girlfriend for 10 years, she dumped him, he was 30 and he realized that he was monogamous for so long, and he passed up so much pussy, and he was now all alone crushed and battered. This may happen to JT, but it didn’t happen to me, I just slept with whore after whore after whore. Take my word for it, dump your girlfriends now, because all relationships will end horribly.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Bondage is funny. The reason it is funny is because it is based on humility. It’s all about making a complete fool of yourself, while have a hard-on throughout the process. It’s like going up on stage to sing a song in front of 1000s, of people, only to forget the words and realize that you don’t really even know how to sing. It’s like going for a jog and ending up 20 miles away from home, only to shit yourself and walk home soiled and in shambles. It’s like that time that those bullies in highschool tied you to the fence naked and brought out all the hot girls to laugh and point. It’s all about being in a vulnerable position with your mistress in a Sensory Deprivating Mask…

The Ultimate Sensory Deprivation Bondage Hood

Grit your teeth and bear it boy! This hood is not for those that panic. This heavy duty hood is hand made to exceptional quality standards. When the 3 locking leather straps are pulled tight against the padded eyes, mouth and ear areas you get that oh boy feeling. With your senses leaving quickly you become very submissive to your master’s demands and struggle to hear their every word. This is by far one of the finest hoods we offer. Comes in one size with laces for adjusting to fit.

Features:

* Padded leather ear pockets
* Padded leather reinforcement for eyes and mouth
* 3/4 inch mouth hole
* Leather laced rear back for snug fit
* 3 extra leather locking straps
* Straps can be used with or without padlocks

Source: agentbedhead.com

It seems as if the recent diva posting left more to expound upon, which is rather convenient, since I’m sorely lacking in inspiration elsewhere. Perhaps I should find a mentor, but at any rate, I’m rattling on about the knowledge I accrued in a past life, otherwise known as hell the online dating world. As many know, these services provide surveys, questionaires, and everything short of a rectal thermometer in a vain attempt to “assure a match.” One of the more telling aspects of an online dating profile may be found in the set of checkboxes under the “Looking for” or “Interested in” section. Read on for the sadiemasochistic analysis of the possible answers:

1. Interested in Friendship: Either this fellow has a girlfriend and is casually shopping for a replacement, all the while having a convenient excuse to keep his profile online, or he is so damn suave (read: conceited) that women cannot resist his overwhelming masculinity. Either way, it likely points towards bad news. Or gayness.

2. Interested in Play: Definitely married to “frigid” wife, who used to be great in bed. Seriously thinks that he can arrange lunchtime “play sessions” with females in late teens to early twenties. Seriously believes all the women on “adult” dating sites are real. Never realizes that “frigid” wife no longer desires him because he sucks in bed.

3. Interested in Friendship, Play: Probably married. Definitely a pervert. If married, likely looking to talk wife into having a lesbian threesome. If not married, he probably has attachment issues stemming from sluttish mother who recycled several live-in boyfriends during his youth.

4. Interested in Dating: Just a playa, baby. Either this fellow is truly a male slut who wants to bag all the babes he possibly can in a solitary lifetime, or he recently got out of a long relationship. If this is the case, his girlfriend probably dumped him because he failed to propose within several years of dating. Can we say, “Issues?”

5. Interested in Serious Relationship: Clearly desperate and possessed of little shame. On a date, will ramble on about being effortlessly successful careerwise but overwhelmingly unlucky in love. After date, will call several times to show that he is “interested.” Two likely outcomes: [1] After calling every day for three weeks, will eventually send email or leave voice mail calling the woman a horrible, bitchy person. [2] After calling for a few days and not getting satisfactory confirmation of second date, will send long email about his impending trip to Russia for a mail-order bride. He will want to know if you think he should cancel the trip. Proper answer – emphatically “no.”

6. Interested in Dating, Serious Relationship: Perhaps the most well-rounded category to achieve via checkboxes. Likely realistic and not afraid of committment, but not desperate enough to jump headfirst without dating someone for awhile first. Go ahead and read the rest of his profile, since he might be a great fellow. Or not.

7. Interested in Friendship, Dating, Serious Relationship: Related to Bachelor #6, but slightly paranoid that he’ll seem like an asshole if you think he can’t be friends with a girl. Possibly a yellow flag and sign that he hasn’t much paid attention to what the girls he’s dated actually want, which could have ramifications in the sex department. Either that, or the fellow overanalyzed the checkboxes for several hours before taking a sum-zero approach. Indecisiveness is not an attractive quality, so let’s hope the hand just got click-happy. Worth a date, but only with careful scrutiny.

Source: agentbedhead.com

I have tried to stop, but I cannot. Today’s selection came in a close second only to this one, which leaves me with incredulity. If that photo doesn’t scream “Hello, I’m SO gay, just call this my Ziggy Stardust phase,” then I’m not quite sure what would suffice. Full analysis coming one day. Promise. Hell, I’m still trying to get over the fact that Eric is blogging about politics today.

Back to today’s photo, which is quite simple to explain. Let go of that child, and return to the child you’ve rented!

Source: agentbedhead.com

La Femme Wonkita has posted her list of favourite submissions from that June Bonfire thing that landed at It’sAPundit yesterday. That chick is a fucking nutcase. Check it out.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I know you haven’t got laid in a long time, don’t feel bad, sometimes I would take a lack of pussy than having to sleep with my wife, but I won’t get into that, because I wouldn’t want to divert from the fact that you take pleasure in this street art, even though it’s of a guy cumming in another guys face, the way it should be when every girl you have ever approached has told you that you aren’t there type…you are a homo because of extraneous factors, not by birth or choice but because of neceessity homo. Shouldn’t you be changing your panties or something?

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

At 68 dollars, this shit’s a steal. I know everytime I get hard, I wish I could be bound up in some weird fucking sex bubble. It’s like wrap me up and throw me in the fuckin corner like the used tampon I sometimes feel like. I guess it all started with my sexual attraction to a beachball, I remember as a kid in mexico our only had rocks for toys, so the soft rubber texture I encountered as a teenager only brought one thing to mind and that one thing was “I would love to fuck this”, so I did. Point of the story is sexual restraints are hype, especially when they remind me of a beachball….this post is weak, but so am I.

Confining Latex Balloon Prison
This unique latex balloon is made of stretchable latex. This product is super stretchy but takes some effort to get in it. We suggest a lot of a water based lubricant around the skin and balloon to glide in better. To get in you start by putting your feet inside and then pulling the latex balloon around your body all the way to the neck. Once inside you can feel the pressure of the latex all around you. Some use additional straps or tape for extra security. Comes in black or clear.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

White trash is not really in style, it just seems like a lot of white trash have made lots of money or married into it recently. This means they have nicer houses than you, a better quality of life, fucking hotter bitches, but you can’t take the trash outta them and that means going to the store for a bag of chips and a pack of smokes. This is the shit poor families pack in their kid’s school lunches, provided they aren’t too drunk to bother…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

It happens to the best of us, well not really to me, but only because I don’t wear underwear, only because I am a slob who hates doing laundry and more importantly life is expensive and I have to budget, and lucky for me underwear just didn’t make the cut, regardless Jessica Simpson has a bit of money, a perverted dad, a husband she cheats on and most importantly a wedgie, that she is picking, that was documented on film, that is not a big deal to me, but I know it is to you…catering to my audience is just what I do.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This could be your mother, I wouldn’t know, we’ve never met and I doubt we ever will, I am not into this whole internet friendship thing, ya know how it is, makes me feel a little weird. Anyway, if this girl isn’t your mom, she’s someone’s mom and I am guessing to spice up her marriage she decided to pull her floppy tit out for someone to get a kick out of. That someone is obviously a very weird person, probably spends a lot of time on the internet just like you….maybe one day you will be lucky enough to get a nasty bitch to flash you while camera is in hand. That way, maybe your friends will believe that you have seen a breast in person, then again if this is the only tit you’re seeing, you probably don’t have many friends….Cuddles.