Source: agentbedhead.com

Heh. Nothing like the anticlimactic end to law school final exams. Supposedly, in one week, I shall don my cap and gown and walk around like a raving idiot, so the dean can hand me a blank piece of paper that should suffice until the grades come out in about a month. Nice.

One of the more amusing spring certainties include the emails that circulate from pending graduates. These still-optimistic types are the ones who are getting the proverbial hell out of dodge and want to liquidate their assets, presumably so they can afford ramen noodles next month. Oddly enough, they seem to think that everyone wants to buy their crappy apartment furniture. One such emailed list follows:

TV (I think it’s a 25 incher) - $35

VCR - $25

WASHER & DRYER - $50 apiece

DESK/CABINET - great desk, wood with glass top and hatch top, will hold all law books in one convenient place, stylish, trendy and just plain cool - $70

“FAKE” LEATHER CHAIR (to go with the desk) - $40

FULL-SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRING - $135

Everything must go!!! *Ahem* This fellow should have actually recorded his advertisement and circulated it around campus, because the only selling point he possibly has is his sexy South African accent. Oh yes, and he thinks he has a twenty-five incher. In that case, maybe some strategically-placed pillows in a photo illustrating his use of said bed might be in order as well. Bygones.

What’s up with the quotations around the fake leather chair? Either it’s natural or synthetic, so the shades of grey do not add to the attraction of a place he parked his fine ass for three years. Ah well. Time to unload the brain.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

The other day I was watching TV at my girlfriend’s house, and turned to the Discovery Channel in hopes of seeing people getting eaten by sharks. What do I get instead of bloody shark death? FIT-TV.

FIT-TV has no business on the discovery chanel, it should be on The Comedy Network. Once i started watching it, I couldnt get past the fact that there are hundreds of women, accross the country, jumping around in thier living rooms to some homo in bicycle shorts. Perhaps i am just jealous because this motherfucker has a TVshow, biceps, and a tropical backdrop, but I dont think so.

I think people who workout all the time are lame. Do they think it will get them laid? I weigh 140 soaking wet, and have a hard time carrying groceries to my car. However, my girlfriend is hot, and we have sex…on weekends…when its dark…and shes drunk. My point is, to quote fight club, “self improvment is just masturbation, but self destruction…now that takes a real man”.

So heres to drinking, smoking, drug abuse and having sex with hot chicks.

Team Fuck - Supporting The Little Guy.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Nobody cares, enough with the celeb nudity, it is boring, it’s not very riveting, it doesn’t stimulate any form of meaningful conversation, there are more important things going on to worry about a nipple… I expect more out of myself…it is a cheap way to get useless traffic (I am talking to you)….that said a couple more pics after the jump

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Bikini waxes are so played out it is not even funny. Everyone knows that the real hipsters are going back to their roots and keeping it real with bush, and hipsters are always right, thanks to them cocaine is popular again. There is nothing cool about having the same haircut as all your friends, so why do you want the same motherfucking pussyhair style as every girl. There is an element of excitment that comes when you see a girl in nothing but booty shorts with a plentiful bush showing through the top. I personally love the way it fills them out, like a magical pillow.

Bikini waxes are the equivalent of breast implants of the 90s, girls are rocking the shit because they are misinformed, they have been conditioned to hate hair because society tells them it’s gross, much like small tittied bitches hated their racks back in the day because it made them feel inadequate. There is nothing sexier than running my fingers through a nice long bush, it’s more exciting for me than petting my dog and I fucking live for that shit. For the record, this bitch is disgusting!

CLICK HERE FOR GALLERY FOOL

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

There is something amazing about breast feeding, I think it mainly has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of dressing up like a baby and sucking on my wife’s tits, soiling my diaper, and having her change me while telling me how I am such a good little boy. I think this is also because I was neglected as a child, I don’t think I was breast fed at all and if I was, it was probably of poor quality. My mom was a crack addicted prostitute, I can’t imagine crack addict breastmilk having all the essential nutrients needed for baby to develop into an normal person. I have read stories that crack babies are born addicted, I guess I am lucky that I have no addictions, I only drink 26er of Jack and smoke a pack a day, dabble in various forms of drugs, mainly prescription pills, but I do it all recreationally, I guess I like recreation more than you do.

This is a video clip of some perverted, hungry baby and it gave me a great mid-afternoon erection.

Watch The Video Here

via WTFPEOPLE

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So have you ever been in a situation where you just finger-banging, or as my refined friends call it, “Digitizing”, a dirty slag and you realize that your hand is burning and all swollen and shit?! I like to call that split finger fun and it usually ends up with some type of infection or disease, but dude admit finger-banging that chick was worth it, it made you feel like a man, especially considering you made her cum once. My advice is to keep the twiddling to a minimum and spend less time trying to please her, she is never gonna call you back either way, why give her a release when there’s nothing in it for you. Straight motherfucker, keep your split fingers to your dirty self and if you must take that step in your sexual relationship, bust out a surgical glove because there is nothing hotter. Just tell her “this is gynecology…bitch”…..By the way, or BTW for those in the know, this is an ugly shirt and there is nothing cool about baseball, despite what your friends may say.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So are you missing out on intimate moments in your life? Do you feel like life’s got little to offer and that the thought of being at a pool with a girl is so foreign to you that it may as well be speaking another language, well stop being such a pussy and do what I do…look at pictures of famous people in their bikinis with their significant others, it brings hope to all of us. Here are some pics of Rachel Stevens, she may not be all that famous here, but when I used to watch SClub 7 with the girls she was definitely my favorite. It wasn’t saying much considering the other girls looked like men, but it is still worth checking out her bikini pics…..

More after the jump

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So Lindsay has been a busy little celebrity coke fiend the last couple of weeks, good thing she’s got the cocaine to fuel her, otherwise I don’t know how she would pull it off. She has changed her hair on us, she has had her lips jacked up, her house has been broken in to, and I guess the list goes on an on. Throughout all these major tunring points in her recent life, she has still had the time to get to the clubs and red-carpet events to feed her need to be seen. Point of the post is that Lindsay’s alive and kicking, and as the home of Lohan I had to deliver, even if the picture isn’t really an upskirt. I know all you weirdos have the ability to imagine…I am pretty sure that’s the foundation of your sex life. Without your imagination how could you possibly believe there is hope?

LATEST: LINDSAY LOHAN is convinced a so-called friend is behind the recent break-in at her Los Angeles home.

The MEAN GIRLS star was the victim of burglars while she was filming in New York earlier this month (APR05).

The criminals took more than $10,000 (GBP5,300) worth of electronic equipment, including two TV sets and a DVD player - and the actress is convinced she has some untrustworthy friends, who may know more about the robbery than they’re telling the authorities.

She says, “I’ve been marking my money lately because I had a friend who was stealing from me.”

Via contactMusic

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

So I am sitting in my lawyer’s kosher kitchen a couple of days ago and I have the worst fucking hang over, my fucking head was pounding, I was dizzy and I had a throbbing pain in my side, probably my liver screaming for help. I hadn’t slept in 2 days, and this bender was one of my finest, just Jack and me for 48 hours. I hadn’t showered and I stank but luckily my lawyer’s grandson had just recently had his barmitzvah, and Goldstein had a case of mints with his little cunts and image on name on it. I looked at it and said to myself this shit is tacky as fuck, it’s got no street cred, it screams suburban upper-middle class, and it gave me heartburn. Give me a rolaid and another drink, bitch….

These mints have made the cut and are the Jewish Product of the day…..

2.25″ w x 1.75″ h x .5″ deep. Mazel Mints are the perfect party favor for your Mitzvah. Various candy options available (included in price) that will make this simcha a tasty celebration. Mazel Mints are Star-K Kosher. Mint containers are a high quality hinged box

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Remember Baywatch, I know you do!!! You used to sit at home every saturday night to watch a bunch of women run around in their bathing suits. It’s not your fault you weren’t invited to that party. I would like to take this minute to blame Baywatch for the commercializing of breast implants, every bitch on this shit was an ex-stripper, and every ex-stripper has a certain augmented body part that helped them meet their quotas every month, by quotas I mean enough money to support their coke addictions. I would go as far to say as getting casted on Baywatch was the dream many of them had as they layed in bed thinking of what tomorrow has to bring. Gena Lee Nolin was one of those strippers, and she actually made it, big rubber titties and all. Here are some pics of slut at the beach, topless for all you motherfuckers to get a glimpse of her in all her glory. This is nothing new to all you motherfuckers who gave her 10 dollars for a lap dance, but it may be new to others….

More pics after the jump

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Surface piercings make no sense to me, I remember when I was young, we used to get bored in class and shove sharp pencil’s through the skin our arms, but that was back when pencils were actually made of lead, none of this non-toxic graphite pussy shit. I have no idea how today’s youth is gonna man up, parents are so damn protective…not smoking in front of them, bike helmets, no trans fats, dude that’s the shit we were made of and some of us are still alive, and not all of us produced flipper babies when that joyous time came…anyway kids are getting surface piercings, because they are not different enough as it is and they need to prove through extreme body mods that they are their own person. I am not complaining, these are amazing for tying a bitch to something or hanging her off the ceiling… That’s my fucking story and if you didn’t laugh, it’s cool, because I get enough kicks laughing at you…

Via SexBlo.gs

Source: agentbedhead.com

I read somewhere today that the blogosphere ain’t what it used to be, which culminated in a reference to a high school atmosphere. So what? That’s been bloody obvious for the past couple of years, but of course, emotions seem to dictate over logic in such an environment. Anything peer-reviewed turns to mob mentality eventually. The internet brings out both the best and worst in people. It all filters down to picking one’s peers carefully.

Nietzschian crowd theory. Check it out.