Source: agentbedhead.com

Kilgore Trout has decided to saunter jauntily towards the sunset, and frankly, I really don’t know what to say right now. He was the very first blogger that I ever admired. Last May, he linked me, and this sounds awfully schoolgirlish, but I was completely thrilled. That was the first link that I got excited about, and quite honestly, none of the other links have thrilled me quite so much. He had better keep in touch with me, or else…I don’t know what else… dammit Kilgore, I’m gonna miss your grumpy, satiric, hyperbolic ass!

(Note To Kilgore: If you wouldn’t mind, next time your camera comes out to play, please take a photo of your Run Lola Run poster for me. Thanks.)

UPDATE: Methinks this is making me quite depressed. I might have to turn comments off for awhile again. Not that it much matters, when you have a lurker ratio like this blog.

Source: agentbedhead.com

Good mornin’ blokes and blokettes. I bloody don’t much feel like writing today for the voyeurs, but I do have an assignment for everyone. Have you ever wondered why the hell the Royal family still gets to enjoy all that wealth and prestige, when it appears they don’t do much of anything? Princess Silk has written a splendid and well-researched (although very candid) essay that answers that question for us bloody yanks.

Go read it…and lurk if you must, but I’ll just roll my eyes at you and declare, “We are not amused.”

SEEKRIT NOTE TO Velociman: Don’t get paranoid that I’m calling you a lurker. You always manage to leave a hint or two behind…like that stain on the carpet over there. (Smile darlin.’)

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

A while ago, we did a post on Vida Guerra’s ass. Everyone has been freaking about this ass for the longest time, I personally don’t care for booty. I am a huge fan of girls who have little boy asses. Nothing hotter.

Anyway – all good things do come to an end. So all you perverts who thought her as was legit were wrong. Bitch has been photoshopped like every other girl in the magazines. I don’t understand why you fuckers don’t just lower your standards and take the pressure off all the poor girls out there trying to fit into a mold. You are the reason why the girls you get with don’t cum, bitches are thinking about how fat their asses look. Oh, that’s right, you don’t get with girls….

After the jump, you will find, Vida guerra’s photoshop surprise….

via PHUN

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they are at a loss for words. This is the case for me after reading the following post in DollForum.com. I couldn’t believe what this guy had to say and I like to think that I am well versed in the art of perversion, but this was completely unexpected. Read the entry – Pics after the jump, notice his ridiculously large doll collection. Some people are freaks, others are creeps. The scariest thing is that this guy could be your neighbor, or even your kid’s swimming instructor. Enjoy.

I was in the “violence toward women” section of Blockbuster Video which has a window that looks out across the mall to the Sears store where I noticed a female mannequin on a table being examined by a male doctor mannequin. I had to see this up close.
Cool! A portable Craftsman® Gynecological Exam Table for do-it-yourself folks.

It has been said that you are not really a woman until you have been humiliated on one of these devices and I know Angel wants to be a real woman so I had to get it for her. Only a medical doctor has the training to properly humiliate a woman on this table by refrigerating the speculum, room temperature set to 60 degrees F, and notifying the window washers to be on their platform outside the window.

Angel loves being examined before playtime and this table makes sex with a doll a real joy and cleaning is easy.

I love Craftsman® Tools.

Pics After the Jump…I seriously wonder what he was thinking when he was taking these….

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am really not too sure what they hell Paris is up to, but I don’t know if I mind. Any girl in a club, showing off her ass, willing to make out with girls on her camera phone topless, and even release a sex tape, is someone who exudes a certain level of confidence. Growing up, I rarely came across these kinds of girls, there was the occassional pussy flash, titty flash, blowjobs, wet t-shirt contests, orgy, gangbang, unprotected sex with many, many girls…i guess girls have always been this way, just not so public about it…But I do still have enough trouble walking in on my wife when she is sitting on the toilet….I think that’s because she has Crohn’s.

Word.

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Dude, her tits are ridiculous. Imagine she was your mother. I don’t find this look hot, it reminds me of the welfare line…trashy and not in a good way. I seriously hate the way she looks, but the picture is hype.

I remember back in Texas, I took a line-dancing class. There was a group of girls who came to the class in a convertible. They all had bleach blonde hair and implants, but I am talking 1982 implants. These things were disgusting. They worked at the equivalent of a hooters nowadays. Anyway – I banged all three of them, the video is floating around somewhere and I am not talking the Mini DV we have today, I am talking VHS motherfucker.

Now take off your pants and let me apply the bronzer. That is my nickname for my CAK!

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Do you remember Family Matters? Either do I. I think it was during the crack smoking 90s. In retrospect I wished I watched that shit everyday. Apparantly, they phased out the youngest child’s character. I have no idea whether it is true or not, but I do know that ABC’s TGIF line-up has always been pure shit, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

The girl who played Judy Winslow, real name is Jaimee Foxworthy, hit hard times and did what every desperate girl should…..PORN.

I have a new found respect for this slut!

Judy Winslow’s a Dirty Slut, I won’t post the pics, because they are dirty. NSFW

This post was made possibe by OHNOYOUDIDNT

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Beatboxing. Rumor is that it is the sound of the future. Minimalists everywhere are throwing out their expensive audio equipment just to take on this “artform”. People everywhere are working hard to be that featured artist on one track of the occassional hip hop album…

I think poor is hot now and beatboxing is for the poor kids who couldn’t afford toys, they resorted to making noise with their mouths while daddy was out shooting people, and momma was upstairs smokin’ rock. They would drop beats for their boys in back alleys…as they got older…started to perform at the occassional clubs supporting their boys who were making it as MCs. They became an integral part of the occassional hip hop track as a thanks for providing a beat for the MC before he got signed. Like the clown at the circus, everyone likes to sit back and laugh at the beatboxer…

In twenty years, where will these Beatboxing people be? Probably on the street corner, with one palm out, and the other simulating a crab-scratch while making to sounds with they mouths, begging for change.

Sad story….but that’s what you get for being “hard” and living the hip hop dream…

Check out this audio clip…. FUNNY

Via HumanBeatBox

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I am a little late on this one. Saw it earlier today, and didn’t further investigate. Britney is out an about without a bra. We all know that’s the trend, we also all know that white trash can’t afford bras, so when in your hometown, do what the locals do….Her nipples aim south. Further proof she didn’t get implants, and if she did, girl needs a motherfucking refund. That’s like the time I went to an all you can eat shrimp buffet, and the shit gave me herpes. I went back a month later, complained and got a 10% off coupon. Britney needs to be doing that shit with her implants yo….

Via TaxiDriver

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I came across this interesting fact on Billy Joel “the piano man”….it’s pretty funny, you would think he lived on an indian reserve or some shit yo.

After resorting to writing for a rock magazine and playing commercial jingles in order to pay the bills, Joel became severely depressed and attempted to take his own life by ingesting a bottle of furniture polish. He survived, and entered a psychiatric hospital to treat his depression.

Furniture Polish? via Here

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

You all know who Bansky is right? He is an outdoor artist who uses the “urban lanscape” as his canvas, I tried to do that without sounding like a total queer but you know how it is… He also paints on the occassional cow, something I am familiar with, but instead of paint, I use semen, and instead of cows, I use fat bitches.

Bansky isn’t just some stardard pussy graf artist who throws up big lettering to show off his wild style, Bansky is a little more interesting than that….but still a graf artist.

I haven’t checked his site in a while but saw these funny pics I saw on sexblo.gs

Check out Bansky here…

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This motherfucker has a boner for Matthew Good. He comes to my site to fucking bitch me out about dissin’ his shitty sexual fantasy,canadian useless musician, Matthew Good. This motherfucker is trying to get into Matthew Good’s pants by working the wife by being one of her blog friends. I fucking hate bloggers. I hate how useless people in society band together, and think they have a voice, because equally pathetic people are reading their fucking garbage. I don’t appreciate anyone who writes poetry. I don’t like anyone who thinks acting pretentious and sounding smart is cool. I don’t want those kind of people coming here, because they take things too fuck seriously. They think their life is so important and deep, and it depresses me.

I especially don’t need some closet case who hates himself, has never found love, has no self esteem and who lacks enough common sense to understand the humor of this site, coming here harassing me. I don’t like harassment.

He assumes all of you are retarded or 14 year olds who are jerking off to pictures of Lisa Loeb in a thong, meanwhile, this cunt found the site looking for John Cusack in his wet underwear pictures. I know only 80 percent of you are retards, and by retard I mean downs syndrome and cerebral palsy, and I will push you around in your wheelchair anytime.

I also don’t appreciate people with overbearing parents who can’t accept the fact that they like the cock. Or people who drove their own father to an early grave for having a useless cunt of a son. Or people who have crushes on musicians and try to meet their crushes by flirting with the wife of their crush on the internet.

I did a post on Jenny Good, cuz she is hot and I want to see her naked. I didn’t do it to get some loyal suicidal cunt fan of a shitty canadian artist dissing me or my people.

Here’s his myspace profile:

About me:
I am as confused and complex as there is…moody, hmm, maybe…though, at the risk of sounding pretentious, i prefer an adjective more complicated…i don’t want to categorized so easily, that would be death…and breathing and I get along just fine…

Who I’d like to meet:
Matthew Good

Here’s his poem:

You’re sitting next to me
The leaves are on the ground
My heart is in your hands
The ticking of the clock
The siren on the street
My heart is in your hands

But all I ever wanted
All I ever really needed
Was just for you to hear me
Just for you to really know me
All I wanted was you to hear me
And all I needed was you to know me

Miles and miles of smiles
Promising the world
It’s getting dark down here
We could use a little help
We could use a little spark
Its getting dark down here

But all I ever wanted
All I ever really needed
Was just for you to hear me
Just for you to really know me
All I wanted was you to hear me
And all I needed was you to know me

You’re sitting next to me
The leaves are on the ground
My heart is in your hands…

Now everyone, laugh at the expense of this fool. But realize I am not the prick here, he drove me to do this by attacking me and what I do, I am nothing but love for the world. I don’t like fights. It’s just a cry for attention from a boy who’s father never gave him enough love. Oh, and he was in the army and he served your country in Iraq and this poofter only joined the army to watch the men in the shower before he was discharged for trying to give one of his general’s a blowjob.

Oh and… I just made you famous, bitch.