Archive for December, 2004

It’s Not Our Problem, Eh?

Source: agentbedhead.com

By now, news of the catastropic tsunami and its rising death toll, as well as the political fallout, has been live-blogged, news-blogged, and reblogged. Nothing that I can possibly muster up can add to the virtual think tank that has responded to news of this natural disaster. Comparisons have been made to the September 11th tragedy, and more than a few of us are waxing slightly guilty over feeling relief that this took place on the other side of the world, not here in our nation. Dollars have been pledged, and arguments for and against federal intervention have been formed and dissected. Politicos, I leave all these semantics to your willing keystrokes.

Instead, I refer you to an article written on August 11th of this year. The author, Gwynne Dyer, reports of a fractured volcano in the Canary Islands that fits the description of the proverbial time-bomb. You’ve heard of that saying, “Not if, but when,” which accurately describes what will happen the next time this volcano erupts. The sequence of events following the initial eruption includes about ninety seconds, whereupon the volcano will collapse, and the western flank will fall into the Atlantic Ocean. Geologists say the resulting splash will create a mega-tsunami that, once unleashed, will travel largely unimpeded across the ocean directly towards the eastern shores of Canada and the United States.

This wall of water will be between sixty and one-hundred and fifty feet high when it hits the mainland, and the crashing water will continue to rush inland for up to fifteen minutes. Want the projected results? Boston, Manhattan, Philadelphia, and Washington DC, with their harbors that funnel this ocean inland, will likely be obliterated. Miami and Havana won’t even be visible due to the severe flooding. Without enough notice and resources to perform a mass evacuation, the number of casualties will be “[a] hundred million people, give or take fifty million.”

Dyers explains why the scientific community has been aware of this impending “global geophysical event” concerning this particular volcano, yet very little has been communicated on the subject–and yes, it’s entirely political. It does give us opportunity to use the current tsunami fallout to at least prepare slightly for this projected mega-tsunami. After all, if September 11th caused Wall Street’s economic erection to fall, what would the result be upon instantaneously losing the economic and political centres of our nation? Indeed beyond my comprehension, but feel free to give it a whirl yourselves.

Crossposted at The Boileryard.

Published on December 31st, 2004 in Quasi-Intellectual Utter Crap

Well, Fuck Me Over A Barrel

Source: agentbedhead.com

Coming from the only end-of-year list worth perusing, the 27th Annual Top 8 NY Entities That Didn’t Exist:

Blogs: It was widely reported that “blog” was the most searched for term on Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary. What was not widely reported was that 99% of those requests came from a loop procedure written by Nick Denton, the English-type responsible for the proliferation of machine-blogs such as Gawker and Wonkette. When those machine-generated requests are taken out of the equation, the ranking of the term “blog” plummets to 9587, landing with a thud between “moist” and “unctuous.”

A blogosphere of idiots…that is what we all must be. Really, how many of you can claim that you looked up the word “BLOG” on the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary? Yet thousands upon thousands of postings were written upon the announcement of this allegedly most-coveted word. How very unctuous of Mr. Denton to pull such a publicity scheme, which I suppose is why he’s been so allegedly successful with his moguled blogharem.

Published on December 31st, 2004 in Allegories And Alcohol, Ninth Circle

More Reason To Party Like it’s 1999…Er…Nevermind.

Source: agentbedhead.com

MEGA-TSUNAMI UPDATE: A concurrence with much of the aforementioned (actually below, if you’re getting ahead of the rest of us on the whole bottoms-up thing) data can be found here. Linkage courtesy of Boileryard Clarke.

On a similar catastrophic note
(har har), Peoria Pundit, who apparently is utterly hilarious, proclaims that Someone peed in the Ecosystem gene pool. Yep…that’s pretty apparent from the members of the TTLB, including moi. A few points on this one: [1] MySQL Databases are the devil, and [2] If anyone should make a living at this blogging crap, it’s Ol’ NZ Bear.

Published on December 31st, 2004 in Ninth Circle, Quasi-Intellectual Utter Crap

I am - Tranny Hilton

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Paris was born with a penis. We know this because of her huge feet and small breasts. She has joined a support group for trannies.

This support group helps her deal with her life post op, and gives her the opportunity to help people who aren’t as advanced in the sex change as she is.. she is a mentor..a socialite tranny mentor. It’s easy to get a sex change when your rich. I know plenty of men - who want to be woman - but it isn’t covered by healthcare….

The picture is here (via OhNoYouDidn’t)

Published on December 31st, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Lohan’s Breast Reduction Surgery

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

She was in the hospital for exhaustion
I originally thought it was for a drug overdose
Now GoodPlasticSurgery.com is saying it’s for a breast reduction.
I don’t know - I will ask her tomorrow at the NYE party.
She told me she would give me a blowjob in the bathroom while doing blow.
I have been chatting with her for 9 months on friendster.
Everyone tells me it’s not the real LiLo, but I know it is…
The internet wouldn’t lie to me.

The link to lindsay lohan’s good plastic surgery/ breast reduction

here

Published on December 31st, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Girls Love Meat

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I always knew that despite what girls say, they love the meat. I know some girls get molested/sexually abused/raped or mistreated by men, and turn lesbian, but deep down they still love the meat. I think all men out there should treat their women like queens and buy them a fucking hamburger. Who cares if they get fat, you can always fuck a whore, have an affair, or dump the bitch, but at least you didn’t beat her or touch her inappropriately.

Women Love Meat Here

Published on December 31st, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Vintage (used) Lingerie

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I was surfing the internet for some classic lingerie. The kind of stuff my gandmother used to wear around the house and to social events. I have memories of being around many women all dressed in girdles, getting their hair done and talking about their husband’s little penis and their gardeners hard body.

Ok

That whole story was a lie. I am poor and from Mexico…
Mexicans don’t have gardeners, we are gardeners….

Check out the ebay auction here model included

Check out the site here - and go back tomorrow because they are launching their new girl of the month feature. Buy some product, it still smells like pussy of the 30’s, you sick fuck.

Happy New Year.

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Texan of the Day

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Now if you are a fan of the site, and if you have been reading us for a while, you will remember that I am a mexican, sent to texas, ended up in Quebec, married to a French Canadian, with 2 slutty daughters, who always cock tease me…. I deal with it - with the help of alcohol.

I still have memories of mexico as a boy, and texas as a teenager. So in honour of my random roots, I want to introduce you to a new feature called - the Texan of the Day.

His Name is Pat Davis, and he likes his fish!

HERE

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Male Strip Club

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

You go to the male strippers
You get drunk
You get pulled up on stage
and you suck cock for a room filled with drunken women.
Your parents would be proud.

HERE (YourDirtyMind.com)

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Kelly Ryan

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

Lookin’ Hot you Sexy Beast. That’s what I say to women with more muscle mass than any trucker I have had the pleasure of meeting in my time.

Her name is Kelly Ryan, she has a “Chyna Clit” and she is our google image search of the day (yes i cheated)

Kelly Ryan Erotic

Kelly Ryan getting taped up by her husband “Tiny”

Kelly Ryan “You Better Watch Yo’Self”

Kelly Ryan Pre-Op

Kelly Ryan Cameltoe

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Kate’s Muff

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

I know she only has one foot that is functional.
I know she has a hoof.
I know she has naked pics out there, and I have seen them.
I still think posting a picture of her BEAV in sheer panties is worth something.
I know I am too poor to join her site.
I know I am too lazy to find her pictures.
I know sheer panties are sexy
I know her poon’s got some give.
So I decided to post the gallery where you can see her love bun
Through a pair of sheer panties.

HERE

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet

I am - Buttlooking

Source: www.drunkenstepfather.com

This is a random site that I came across that has all kinds of butt looking related content. I think the most relevant one for you is the celebrity butt cleavage gallery. I remember when butt cleavage was the big thing a couple of years ago, I never fully understood this. Being an obese man, I always have trouble making sure my butt Is covered, everytime I bend over to pick something up, or reach for something, the world around me are forced to witness my butt cleavage. I have never heard any compliments, and I sure as hell never had an online gallery devoted to my butt.

To date, the only people who love my butt are my stepdaughters, they always ask if they can spank me. I have no problem dropping my pants for them, but their mother can never find out.

Enjoy the celebrity butt cleavage page

HERE

Published on December 30th, 2004 in The Other Celebrity Planet


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